


Bad Undertale Fanfiction #8,752

by UltimateGamer101



Series: UG101's Multi-Chapter Undertale Stories [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chocolate Drugs Are Best Drugs, Cuddle The Horror Skels, Drinking Games, Enjoy The Insanity, Fourth Wall Just Got Dusted, Fresh Censors Uncool Lingo, I need ideas, Just making that clear, Multi, My First Fanfic, Oh Wait It's Just Feeling Up Blueberry, One-Shot (With A Chance of Continuation? Le Gasp!), Other, Papyrus Knows More Than He Lets On, Reader Has Issues, Reader Might Legitimately Be Insane, Recreational Drug Use, Someone Stop Me From Tagging, Sorry Not Sorry, Surprise Philosophy, Tasty, These AU Skellies Don't Belong To Me, Too Many Skeletons, Total Undertale Trash, Updates Randomly Cuz I Don't Have Many Ideas, Wait- Is That SIN?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:57:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 54,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateGamer101/pseuds/UltimateGamer101
Summary: Hey there! I bet you're pretty bored right now, huh? Perhaps you're even sitting around playing with a Bop It! in order to distract yourself from the fandom you've been dabbling in(read: been obsessed with)recently. Welp, there's nothing like an unexpected downpour of skeletons in your bedroom to do that for ya![So I got bored one day and decided to make a half-serious, half-parody story of Multiverse levels. Enjoy xD]





	1. An Interruption to Monotony

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Welcome to the Skele-House](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7959631) by [Optima_chama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optima_chama/pseuds/Optima_chama), [ShadowFoxDemon27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowFoxDemon27/pseuds/ShadowFoxDemon27), [UltimateGamer101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateGamer101/pseuds/UltimateGamer101). 



> These AU Skeletons belong to their respective creators!  
> Ink- comyet  
> Error, Fresh, & Geno- loverofpiggies  
> Red & Edge- (multiple creators / community created)  
> Blueberry & Honey- popcornpr1nce  
> Dream & Nightmare- jokublog  
> Sci- talkingsoup  
> Fuzz- dragonlovinggirl6  
> Kit & Pup- ask-babyblasters  
> Axe & Jaws- sour-apple-studios  
> Lust- nsfwshamecave
> 
> Sans & Papyrus belong to Toby Fox!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy this!

"Okay. Okay. You got this bruh. You SO GOT THIS."

_"Twist it!"_

"YOU GOT THIS!

_"Pull it!"_

"AAAHAHHHHHH-"

_"Yeow! Too fast for ya?"_

"FUCKIN SHIT FUCKBALLS! FITE ME, HELEN!"

You slammed the button before it finished telling you how many hits you got, starting over with intense concentration. It was an unhealthy amount of concentration placed upon this child's toy, to be fair, but it wasn't like you had anything better to do. Plus at this point, it was mocking you. It mocked you so hard.

_"Twist it!"_

"DON'T TEMPT ME BRO."

As the game sped up, your concentration focused denser, until all you could see was the toy in your hands. You would defeat this thing if it was the last thing you did. Not even the obnoxiously loud crashing and banging beside you could disrupt your focus. You could totally do this. There was nothing that could stop you...

_"You did it! High score: 100!"_

"HECK YEAH!"

You threw the toy across the room into a pile of dirty laundry, letting out a victory yell at the ceiling. The victory yell faded rather quickly as you noticed a rather large circle of sheer whiteness where the light should be, and curiosity had you standing on the edge of your bed to reach up and touch it... or, go right through it. That's cool too.

An impatient fingersnap caught your attention, and you looked down at a-

"Holy fuck."

-a skeleton. A skeleton with black, red, and yellow bones, and black, red, yellow, and blue clothes. A skeleton you recognized quite well, from your recent obsession with a certain game leading to an obsession with the fandom. 

"Dude... how the fuck did you breach the fourth wall!?"

The skeleton stared at you as though you were crazy. To be fair, you could see yourself being crazy around this time. After all, one of your favorite fictional skeletons is standing right in front of you, and your first question is how he got there.

"What is my life at this point. What even. How even. This is probably because I haven't left the house in months. Yep. I've finally driven myself insane from the lack of social contact, and my mind is hallucinating to attempt some form of recovery. Are you physical? Can hallucinations be physical?"

You reach out to touch the black boned skeleton, and he leans away with an expression that seems to be a bit of a sneer combined with bewilderment. To be fair, people usually reacted to him with fear and anger, not really curiosity.

"Oh right, you don't like being touched. Sorry, I forgot about that. Haphephobia, all that jazz."

You withdrew your hand, and stared up into the portal that you supposed led into the Anti-Void. Except, there was another skeleton coming through, one which landed upon your back with the graceful form of a giraffe on skates.

"Ffffff-rickle frack."

Your swear skewed off as you saw who it was. No doubt, the little blue and gray clad skelly would charge you for a swear jar, and you really didn't wanna owe the dude any money. Plus he was too cute to swear around. The bright blue stars in his eyes made people all over the world his slaves, and you were no exception. HOWEVER! You would not fall to his cuteness, not with the weight of another two more colorful skeletons added to your crumpled body.

"Duuude... why... why is it raining skeletons in my room?"

Strangely, you couldn't hear any voices responding. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the skeletons in question yelling at each other, but you couldn't hear them... were you deaf?

It was several dazed moments you spent staying on the floor even as the skeletons got off of you, moments spent simply staring at them in a vague sense of curiosity and numbness. However long you spent upon the floor was enough time for them to notice you, or more likely, notice the smallest skelly trying to talk to you. They fell silent, from what you could tell, simply watching you as you sat up and jumped onto your bed to grab a notepad.

"Alright, I dunno if you guys can hear me, but I can't hear you, so you'll hafta use this to communicate with me. Sorry to say, unlike most people in Undertale fanfictions, I don't understand sign language and probably won't be able to learn it quickly cuz I'm more lazy than Sans Classic."

You handed the notepad and multiple colored markers to the four skellys present, sitting back and watching them with an expectant gleam in your eyes. It seemed to unnerve them, so you toned it down with a patient smile.

The inner voice of your fan-crazy mind was screaming about Napstablook fight references at the smile.

It seemed they spoke amongst themselves before the littlest skelly was given the notepad, and you watched him write out a quick question in capital letters.

_*DO YOU KNOW US, AND HOW WE GOT HERE?*_

"Oh, yes and no. I know you and almost every Alternate Universe version of you, but I don't know how you got here. If I were to guess, the magic power of an all-out battle between you four could've made a hole in the code, but that is both illogical and highly unlikely. Also, can I hug you, Blueberry? You're one of my favorites, and not only because you're cute, but because you know how to use your cuteness to your advantage."

You took the bright smile as a yes, and happily squeezed the skeleton to your chest. Cue the moment of physical curiosity as to how the bones moved along each other, wherein you glide your fingertips over his exposed neck vertebrae, and the other skeletons stare at you like you're a freak.

Yeah. The shudder that came from the little skeleton was probably less than appropriate.

"Oops, sorry about that. Curiosity. Ooh, what color is my Soul? I've wanted to know that since I got into the fandom! I know it's not Determination, though. I'm too lazy. It might be Patience, but I'm too aggressive in getting what I want. It might be Bravery, but I haven't been put into any real situations requiring it, so that's in the dark. Integrity is a possibility, my moral compass is a strong one. Justice is slightly less possible, cuz I haven't really sought out action to make things even. Maybe it's-"

A tug on your shirt has you cutting yourself off mid-ramble, and looking down at the Blueberry in your arms. You still haven't released him yet. Oops.

"Er, sorry. I got rambling."

You released the smol skeleton, and looked at the portal above you. It seemed darker, as though it were fading, and you quickly looked towards the other three skeletons.

"Ah, if you wanna get home, you should probably jump through n-"

A series of audible banging had you leaping off the side of your bed- just in time for several more skeletons and a weird smoking machine to appear. This time, there were multiple Papyruses included with the Sanses, from a few familiar AU's.

It seemed your mind had finally broken. This was official, you hereby declared yourself insane and in need of psychological therapy. Introducing your new therapist, yourself! Yay! Time to call in a witness to your insanity.

You got up and walked over to the window, ignoring the silent calls of the skeletons around you. Opening the perpetually closed curtain, you let in the sunlight, and then opened the window to let in the breeze. The quotations being yelled by your inner voice had you speaking again.

"It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like me..."

The attention of the room was focused upon your next line.

"...are needing mental help in both large quantities, and refined qualities."

You walk around your bed and help the pile of tangled skeletons, continuing to ramble.

"Sorry to new arrivals if I seem rude, but frankly, I can't hear any of you speaking. Probably because you don't belong in this universe, you don't have any naturally existing representation to bounce off of the way you do in your multiverse. Here, there are simply too many fandubs for your voices to be your own, as they are-"

You pause, blink, and continue.

"Actually-"

You pause again, blink again, and stare at the skeletons.

"Nevermind. Showing you the fandubs wouldn't help you become audible to me. My theories would only be immediately correct if this were some sort of fanfiction. Oh geez, am I a Mary Sue? Will there be LEMONS?"

The now-untangled skeletons stare back at you with varying expressions, as you sit back on your bed and grab your tablet.

"So. I know for certain that Fresh, Error, and Ink are aware of this universe. I ask that you three attempt to restrain yourselves, because attacking us wouldn't do anything in the long run except possibly destroy everything. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING. You can't exist without us, and you can't stop us from affecting your universes without destroying us, and destroying us destroys yourselves by extension. So. Anyways. Welcome to the world of your Creators."

Your speech garners mixed reactions. Confusion, anger, curiosity, hate. The whole shebang of emotions. Fresh, surprisingly, seems to be having a panic attack of relief, while Ink is grinning with an incredibly wicked gleam in his sockets, and Error is just watching those two react the way they are. The other skeletons seem mostly confused. You decide to take pity on them.

"By the vast amount of other Creators working on things, I presume that all of you Sanses and most of you Papyruses are aware of the multiverse as a whole. However, you are unaware of the fact that everything within your multiverse is dictated by beings from my own universe. Well, Geno was aware of this due to an April Fools comic, but it's a joke comic, so I'm not sure how much he actually knows. ANYWAYS. Y'all were created by us. We're your gods. But we're people too, and that's why we did these things to you. Hardship, pain, hate; fluff, joy, love; it all builds character. You are who you are because of what you experienced. So I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced, but-"

You're cut off by a skeletal hand slamming into your throat, your body pulled by the hand until you're smashed into the wall. The burning in your chest alerts you to the lack of air, and your arm twitches slightly in the instinct to struggle, but you refuse.

Hehe. You refused.

A slight smile crosses your lips, and the hand around your throat tightens minutely. From the corners of your eyes, you can see the others fighting amongst themselves, but your gaze remains locked with that of the Sans holding you to the wall. It is, unsurprisingly, Geno- you're not surprised because he did find out about this before, and was denied his retribution back then.

His mouth moves, but you can't hear him. The arm that twitched before is brought upwards to gesture to your ear, indicating so, but falls as your grip on consciousness weakens. It's not surprising that they would react this way. Nihilism is... difficult to accept. It's difficult to accept that the events of the cosmos are beyond your control, but the Sanses have it worse. Not only are their universes beyond their control, but they themselves are as well... everything they do is dictated by some higher force that decides, 'Oh, this Sans would react this way to this situation,' and everything else as well. They can't control it... they can't control themselves... it is a pitiful existence.

Abruptly, as the last of your vision is darkening, the hand is pulled free from your throat. Your body slumps to the ground, limbs twitching as much needed oxygen returns to your lungs and spreads throughout your veins. It feels like an eternity before your body is calm enough in its reactions to look up at the various skeletons in your room, and doing so, you notice the notepad before you. It is open to a page you had forgotten about, one with the only drawing you had made of the skeletons. In this drawing, they look... happy. Below the drawing is a single word, written long ago by a foolish child who dared to dream.

It is likely your one mercy.

Taking the notepad, you rise to a standing position, barely caring about the way your legs shake except to note that it is likely you are going into shock. If you're not already so, that is. The defensive physiological reactions of the human body to outside stimuli is truly fascinating. You note such aloud, a passing comment that you barely notice as you place the notepad down and pick up your tablet once more.

"Now that that's been taken... taken care of, for now, we should..."

You cough, placing a cold hand on your forehead.

"Ahem. Sorry. It's not every day your favorite characters rain from the ceiling for a visit. I'd offer you some golden flower tea, but that doesn't exist here."

Drawing your knees up to your chest, you take a moment to appreciate the fact that you'd never had to take such a physically defensive position in your own room before, before tapping into the browser of your tablet and opening a single tab. Then, you pause.

"Should... ah... fuck. There is literally so much... I have no idea where to start. I don't even know how many of you are here. Oh yeah, I'd prefer not to die right now, despite not having anything to look forward to, so kindly no stabby the goods."

You blinked as a thought came to mind.

"VerteBros, we need to take inventory of y'all. As in, which versions you are in relation to your timelines, so I know what's cool for me to disclose or not. "

Sitting up straighter, you turned so you were facing the more or less scattered group of skeletons, and opened up a notebook app.

"...here we go."


	2. There's Something On Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introductions with the skellies present! I wonder what's on your face tho?

You'd long since moved the group out of your bedroom- your room was just a _mess_ and way too small for all the skeletons that'd been thrust into it- and into the considerably larger living room, where everyone could just sit back and relax. Right? That's what living rooms were for, right?

Apparently not, because you had anarchy on your hands. The sheer amount of movement going on was beginning to freak you out, if you were completely honest, and your patience was being severely tested by UnderFell Papyrus breaking shit and his bro totally _not respecting personal space_ and more general shenanigans. Honestly, if this went on for just two more min-

Fuck. This. Shit.

Why did people always want to meet their favorite characters when their favorite characters were mostly _assholes_?

"OKAY EVERYBODY, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Your voice boomed through the empty house- well, empty except for you and a _bunch of skeletons fROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE_ -

"GET IN HERE, SIT DOWN, AND SHUT UP. YES, I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY TERRIFIED, EXCITED, RELIEVED, PISSED OFF, and other WONDERFUL EMOTIONS LIKE THOSE, but CHAOS does NOTHING TO HELP. Ahem. Now that's been settled, let's get on with the introductions."

You released a huff of air, probably looking more like a grouchy kitten than the ferocious dragon-to-be-feared that you imagined yourself to be, and flopped back onto a beanbag chair. That was occupied by Classic Sans.

...you were so done with the day. The 'jumping his bones' comment only solidified the level of done you were experiencing, enough so that you didn't even bother to move before continuing.

"Riiiiiiight... So I'm sitting on Classic Sans. Classic Papyrus is probably in the kitchen, rifling through the cabinets filled with ramen noodles and chocolate in attempt to find spaghetti ingredients. Unfortunately for the lot of you, the Classics are the only ones who I will call Sans and Papyrus. There is no way I'm dealing with identity issues this early in the morning."

Several skeletons glanced at the clock. It was 8:37pm.

"Due to your Multiversal knowledge, y'all prolly know each others' multiple nicknames well enough to recognize the ones I'm gonna be calling you by. Let's start with the most popular AU's."

Your living seat cushion seemed to be uncomfortable. Good. You weren't taking any more crap today after being choked by Geno.

"First, we have the Multiversal Trio: Ink, Fresh, and Error. Ink is the colorful one with the giant paintbrush, Fresh is the radtastic 90's nightmare, and Error is the glitched out destroyer of worlds."

A lazy gesture was made in the direction of each skeleton as he was introduced, before you continued.

"Y'all know the Classics, so it's off to UnderFell. Fell Sans, I'mma call you Red. Fell Paps, I'mma call you Edge. Yes yes, creative I know, the fandom is totally better than Asgore at naming things. Totally."

A snicker escaped your lips as you took a metaphorical dump on your main fandom, and sent a mental thought of 'no regrets' to the cosmos.

"Next, UnderSwap. Swap Sans, you are and always shall be the adorable Blueberry. You have fangirls all over the world who would literally bathe you in a shower of kisses each morning if they knew where you were, but also they'd probably end up breaking you once the inevitable greed broke out. Swap Paps, you're Honey. The aforementioned fangirls really like that taste on ya for some reason."

Several flustered skeletons later, you continued.

"Dreamtale. Yeah, there are actually multiple AU's named Dreamtale, but yours is the most popular. It's unique too- two Sanses instead of a Sans and a Papyrus. The happy-looking one is Dream, and the goopy mad-looking one with the tentacles that sing to my kinks is Nightmare."

The skeletons had varying expressions of shock and confusion on their faces at your casual crudeness, and you took a moment to snicker before continuing.

"There are quite literally dozens of AU's out there. Frankly I'm surprised that more skeletons aren't here, but I suppose there can only be so much of something before it gets to be too much. Although I will say, for those large gatherings of thirty-plus skeletons, people really like nicknaming y'all after food, y'know? Thirsty sinners. Y'all have been described quite thoroughly in taste... hehehe. None have been spared..."

The Sans beneath you seemed _highly uncomfortable_ now, and you cackled somewhat loudly to yourself at that.

"Oh, lastly we have Aftertale and... I dunno the name of the AU, Sciencetale? Anyways, we got Geno and Sci, respectively. Now with introductions settled, I must reiterate that killing me does not help your situation, and that I have no interest in dying. I'm not sure if this is like CPAU."

You paused to contemplate your own mortality, spacing out for a few minutes. The return of your glorious mind to the realm of the physical was brought about by an impatient cough, at which you smiled before continuing.

"Welp, I think that's all of you?"

A glance around satisfied you, and you nodded to yourself before a sudden thought came to mind.

" _Shiz_ there aren't any Bitties here, are there? That'd just make things _extremely_ confusing. Edge would need to be renamed. Cuz _funk_ the originals."

You were abruptly floating, and a quick glance downwards had you cackling in delightful glee at the reason why. It seemed Sans had finally become done with your shit, and wouldn't take another moment under your heavy body. HEHE.

"What'sa matter Sansy, too much time spent _under the influence_ of me? Your zygomatic bones are looking a bit bluuueeeee~!"

The response to your teasing came in the form of your body flying into the couch. Welp. That was surprisingly painful.

"Rude."

You stood up and brushed yourself off, looking over yourself and suddenly realizing that you were still in your pajamas. Well... they were very comfortable jammies... did you really _have to_ change out of them? They were even fresh from the laundry as of yesterday! But you had company...

_Did you care enough about your company to change for them, truly?_

...NAAAAAAAAAH.

"Okay! Now that y'all have been adequately nicknamed, it's time toooooo~!"

You paused.

"I have no idea what to do. Y'all can't go outside cuz the government would be up your _rad_ holes before you could blink, and at the very least you'd be put under rigorous testing and various unpleasant lab rattery. And I know the majority of you dislike labs for your assorted reasons. So, anyone have any ideas?"

A long silence filled the air, heavy and weighted with the tension of your unexpected guests at your nonchalance of blabbing your knowledge about them. A silence that was broken by Edge stepping forward and slamming you into the wall by your throat (What was it with skeletons and choke-holds? Was it cuz they _didn't have the lungs_?) and growling threateningly into your face.

...you still couldn't understand a word he was saying. But hey, you could hear a staticky sound now instead of nothing!

You had to resist. You had to resist the temptation to respond to the pain in that weird way you usually did. You had to-

"Ooh Edge, buy me dinner first~!"

FUCK. You couldn't resist. The infuriated growl from Edge was your only warning for the fist that collided with your face, before you were released to slide down the wall in minor agony. You really were a bit of a freak, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
>  **...IT WAS PAIN.**   
> 


	3. The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Plot Holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does 'not doing anything' count as an option?

Sometime later, after the skeletons had dispersed somewhat between the living room and the kitchen, you kept hearing odd noises in the distance. While this wasn't new to you on a general scale, these noises were not those of raccoons rummaging through your garbage nor those of woodpeckers defacing the tree outside the kitchen window. No, they sounded more... sinister... like sandpaper rasping and scraping against metal, and the occasional bark of sharp laughter, and quiet whimpering. Thus, immediately assuming that the noises had something to do with the skeletons, you turned to the main group and approached Honey.

"Alrighty then, upon a sudden situation like this, I trust you more than any of the other Sanses and Papyruses here, so I'm asking you if these are all the skeletons that you counted in my room before y'all left it."

The lanky, hoodie-clad skeleton seemed somewhat surprised, and Fresh sent an expression of mock-hurt your way, but you ignored it with a small smile in favor of reading Honey's response written in the notebook.

*how many are in the kitchen with original me?*

You wandered over to the doorway and flashed three fingers his way, pausing to count again before nodding to yourself and facing the living room.

*then, between here and there, we're missing maybe two or three... but... why trust me so easily like that?*

You sent a bright smile his way to reassure him of the sincerity of your next words.

"Well, amongst all the well-known skeletons of the multiverse, you're just the one I do. You're more unique than you know, y'know? You've got the high moral standards of a Papyrus and the sheer intellect of a Sans, unlike any other skeleton versions out there. I don't doubt that several of you skeleton Judges have checked my soul by now- including you- and that I have no EXP means you have no reason to immediately distrust me. This fact, paired with your standards, means that you're the least likely to lie to me about impersonal issues."

Silence...

"Oh, uh, did I overdo the psychoanalysis? Hehe... sorry!"

You laughed nervously and ran off into the kitchen, looking over the skeletons present and then calculating the many universes that hadn't shown up during the meeting. There were several skeletons in the living room, and some in the kitchen... so if there were two or three missing, there were definitely some from universes you hadn't named yet. That was bad...

*hey, kid, why'd you need to know?*

Jumping slightly at the sudden presence of Honey beside you and the notebook held before you, your left eyelid twitched uncontrollably for a few seconds before you reached up and casually smacked yourself across the cheek that Fell hadn't punched.

"Um, there were only about thirteen skeletons present when I was designating nicknames, and any missing would probably be ones of more questionable moral alignment... so yeah... I need to know if any dangerous ones have arrived before they go off and start killing people, cuz they didn't get the meeting memos earlier...? I just really, really feel like I'm missing something important..."

You glared at the ceiling, as though there were some people staring back at you... observing you...

"The readers aren't quite shoving all the ideas in my head yet. Well, they're basically me, but that'd make ya think that they'd help themself better instead of having creepy... story reading... out-of-body experiences..."

You blinked, gradually lowering your gaze and staring straight ahead. The distant sounds of plot faded away, leaving the clatter of plates and banging of pots prevalent within the house, which you listened to for several minutes of sheer stillness before turning to Honey.

"Wait, what... was I saying...? Oh yeah, have you had Edge's cooking? I've read stories where it's horribly lethal with glass shards and razors in it, but also stories where it's the best thing known to tastebuds, and I wanna know which to prepare for."

The skeleton stared at you for several seconds, shocked by the sudden change in subject, before blinking and writing an answer to the question.

*well, i haven't had _this_ fell's cooking... guess it's up to chance...*

The previous conversation topic was lost to the cosmos as a timer went off, and Papyrus rushed past you to announce the completion of the meal to those still in the living room. 

Moving things to the dining room, you whisper-screeched at the sheer presence of magic skeletons in your house and the fact that they weren't immediately leaving, before collecting yourself like a rational being and sitting your ass down in a seat. It occurred to you that you were still in your pajamas and that you were a horrible host by just sitting there and not helping bring the food in from the kitchen, but you were half-certain that most of the skeletons already disliked you... and you _were_ incredibly lazy. It wasn't even funny how lazy you were...

Actually, it was, kinda, but mostly not. Had you even eaten yet today?

A shudder rolled down your back at an errant thought, and you jumped up with the elegance of a rhino on ice, stumbling and knocking over your chair as you made your way upstairs at a power-walking speed. Turning and entering your bedroom, you mostly ignored Red going through your drawers, focused upon getting your headset and tablet for your musical needs. However, you did grace the snoopy sexy skeleton with a comment before leaving.

"Hey if you find any sexy underwear in there, lemme know. Stars know I need some."

Returning to the dining room, you picked up your chair- nobody else had mustered up the will to yet- and sat in it upside-down with your knees hooked over the backrest. This garnered several strange looks that went ignored as you pulled on your headset and began searching your music library for that one playlist full of Undertale-related music, left eyelid twitching again as you tried to convince yourself that you weren't going insane.

Ha. You were already nuts.

Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, you let yourself go utterly limp on the chair, balanced oddly with your pajama shirt slightly showing the skin of your waist. The various skeletons assembled seemed reluctant to disturb you, the lazier ones probably sensing that you needed a quick break and keeping the hyperactive ones from doing anything. Either way, you couldn't understand their speaking due to their speech being in the game's font-case-sound thing, and you couldn't hear the house breaking, so you figured things were gonna be cool for a bit.


	4. Enter Sans-man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't knock the classics.

The skeletons as a whole were confused, to say the least.

What had started out as a normal day in each of their respective universes, somehow ended with the lot of them in the house of a weird human who knew _entirely too much_ about them. Were they a stalker of some sort? Was their explanation of this being the universe of Creators the truth? How were they so _calm_ about all this?

These questions and many others were swirling about Sans Classic's skull in a quite hectic fashion, and no doubt the skulls of the others as well. He didn't even want to be here, this was so utterly insane, but here he was because something wasn't letting him use his shortcuts.

Yeah, that's another thing. Whatever brought the group of skeletons here had better be able to bring them back, because they couldn't do it themselves. Sans knew for a fact that their shortcuts went through the void, and the only reason they wouldn't be working is because the void simply didn't exist here. On the same note, he couldn't summon his Gaster Blasters, which supported that 'voidless universe' theory.

Which brought about even more pressing questions, shoving tumultuous ideas back and forth through his skull... _but it was too much to take. He couldn't deal with this situation right now, he couldn't stop his thoughts whirling enough to think straight, he couldn't take this and just go like the human was._

Heck, he didn't even know how he got here. 

One minute he was napping at his sentry station at the entrance to Hotland, providing a distraction for the kid to outrun Undyne, and the next he was falling through an endless expanse of white and landing in a pile of alternate universe versions of himself. Talk about a _rude awakening_.

For some reason, the human didn't understand them when they spoke. The humans in his universe had no such issue, so it was something wrong with this universe. Something different perhaps? Well, besides the complete absence of the void, and subsequently his shortcuts and Gaster Blasters. At least his soul magic still worked. Thank the stars for that- your unexpected presence on top of him was getting rather disturbing after your creepy nonchalance about the whole situation.

...did you know something? Did you... _expect this_?

Well, whether you did or didn't, it'd probably be a good idea to save you from getting killed by Edge. Dead men tell no tales, and they needed you alive... for now. Just until they figured out how to get back home.

"hey edge, we should probably keep 'em alive, yeah? if what they said is true, we gotta keep ourselves from being noticed. a dead body isn't the best way to do that."

Sans watched as the moody royal guard captain released the human and punched a hole through the wall, adding another thing to the list of things he'd broken already. Strangely, Red had stepped forward to distract his bro with the kitchen, giving the human time to recover from their second strangulation of the day.

The way they bounced back so... flippantly... made him uneasy. Granted, it was pretty hilarious to see them flirt with the supreme edgelord of the multiverse and get punched for it, but after a minute or so of weird pained laughter they were up and running again. Were all humans just this resilient, or was it this one in particular?

"So... who wants to eat lasagna with glass in it? Cuz that's what Edge is probably making right now... and I dunno about the rest of you, but glass is particularly lethal for human digestion and I dunno if it's the same for y'all."

Sans blinked, and considered the cooking of a Papyrus with entirely unknown cooking skill... 

NOPE.

It seemed several of the others had followed the same mental path, as there was suddenly a steady stream of skeletons filing into the kitchen intent upon either finding or preparing something more edible. The only ones remaining consisted of himself, Geno, Sci, and Honey, all of whom seemed more interested in assuring the group's safety from the human than the cooking of a Papyrus.

"You shouldn't worry so much, y'know. I might make mental illness look like an art form, but I don't have a single execution point to my name, and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon."

Sans watched as the human got a peculiar expression on their face, and was startled by the next thing they said.

"Huh... does killing yourself give you EXP? That'd probably be a way to trick the system. If you killed yourself and got revived, theoretically, you could repeat that process to get infinite LOVE without harming anyone else... Alas, the inability to test such a theory... not that I don't trust any of you to revive me, but those expressions you're wearing... well, they say you're all pretty much against it."

The human snickered, and Sans' eyesocket twitched. They weren't kidding when they were saying that shit about mental illness, were they?

*uh... you okay there, pal? you did get hit pretty hard there...*

It seemed that Honey was on the same page he was. _Literally_. Heh.

"Oh, I did, didn't I? Thanks for the reminder, I totally hadn't forgotten about the incessant throbbing in my cheek. I wonder how the bruise is coming along?"

Sarcasm aside, the human seemed to be easily distracted. That was a good thing to know for future reference, especially since the way things were going, it seemed that the skeletons would be stuck here for a while. Then again, the group hadn't had a chance to speak with each other yet, so it was possible they could leave anytime.

The human moving towards the hallway derailed Sans' train of thought yet again, and he almost stood to follow before they turned to face the Sci that already was doing so. They seemed surprised to see his counterpart there, then slightly uncomfortable as he stepped closer with an odd gleam in his eyes, but appeared to shake it off with a smile and a warning not to barge in while they were using the bathroom. Huh. So they at least had a sense of self-preservation... good to know.

Several minutes later, still being followed by Sci, the human took up a position against the wall, within view of all the skeletons present. They seemed to be thinking hard, but had an air of fondness about them, as though the cooking dispute occurring in the kitchen was something they'd seen and enjoyed many times before.

That was a worrying thought.

The commotion in the kitchen was apparently ended by the ejection of several Sanses by several Papyruses, something that evidently amused their host, as they'd begun snickering behind their hand. There it was again- that fond, knowing expression. What had they seen? Were they... _amused_ by this situation?

The thought disturbed him, because if they were anything like Frisk, that meant they'd keep him and his alternates here as long as possible. He'd be stuck in another situation of keeping a random human entertained or risk never going home again...

...

A slow sense of fear began to build, and stayed in his head all the way to the human's dining room.


	5. All Other Dinners are just Impastas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ACT]  
> *Antagonize Error
> 
> ...
> 
> *Blueberry is now your hostage!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all readers are beautiful, beautiful people.
> 
> The voted AU's were Classic, UnderFell, UnderSwap, and Dreamtale! I have gone back and edited the chapters accordingly, and I've kept the presence of Aftertale due to being mentioned the most outside of votes ~~and plot reasons~~!
> 
> Thanks for voting guys, cya in the comments section!

It wasn't long before a sudden thought had you jolt upwards, smacking your forehead into the underside of the table. A suffering groan was drawn your lips as you fell off the chair, the cord of your headset tangling with your hand and being pulled free from the tablet. You ignored the now-on-speaker music in favor of the thought that came to mind.

You opened your eyes and pulled yourself up with one hand on the tabletop, staring down the table at the occupants of the chairs. They all seemed to be getting along nicely despite the situation... Refusing to consider things further, you released the edge of the table and let yourself fall back onto the floor, in favor of covering your face and screeching as quietly as you could manage.

"AAAAAAAhhhhhhhh my dreams aRE COMING TRUE _FuNKbALL sHiZNiTs_!"

Taking a deep breath to attempt calming yourself, you stood up properly and brushed yourself off, then sat neatly in your chair like a properly functioning member of society. Your next action was to remember the existence of the tablet on the floor, and quickly sweep it up into your arms murmuring apologies for leaving it on the floor and forgetting about it for even a second and saying that you'd always be there for it...

Yeah...

You hissed like a displeased cat at the watching skeletons and put your headset back on. That action was rewarded by a swath of blue strings slicing your tablet in half...

As if! You grabbed that tablet and somersaulted out of the chair like a badass, protecting your baby as you risked life and limb! Heck yeah!

"Erm...! if you didn't like the music selection, you could've just told me."

You checked to see what song was playing, dodging another string sent your way with an unsteady, stumbling, backwards hop into the wall.

" _Funkin_ ' graceful, that dodge was. I should take up figure skating."

Another few strings sent your way twisted your expression into annoyance, and you sidestepped them.

"If you keep attacking me, you might not like what happens... I defy your logic and expectations, don't make me give you my version of a bad time..."

The black boned skeleton stared at you with a demented grin, and you stared back with slowly widening eyes as he drew forth enough strings to knit a couch. Why would one knit a couch? Who the fuck knew, but it was something Error could do. Sorta. 

The other skeletons wisely withdrew from the table, the lazier counterparts making sure their hyperactive brothers were safe before returning and- _did Ink just make a fucking bet with Blueberry_???

A surge of strings coming your way caused you to dive out of the way and run into the hallway, plugging in your headset and turning up the volume as you did so. Now fully prepared to show the violent skeleton a bad time, you continued running... and began singing, loudly and slightly off-key.

Yes, this was the bad time you were referring to.

"GO AHEAD AND TRY TO HIT ME IF YOU'RE ABLE!  
GUESS YOU'VE FIGURED OUT THAT MERCY'S OFF THE TABLE!  
I CAN TELL YOU'RE GETTING REALLY SICK OF TRYING,  
BUT I THINK YOU'RE JUST MAD YOU KEEP-"

Pain cut you off, and you sent the fickle finger of fate Error's way as he sent another string at you, hurriedly climbing up the stairs towards your room. Some of the other skeletons were attempting to stop him, mainly Dream and Papyrus, whilst others were simply watching, or not bothering to move at all. Red and Edge seemed to be gaining particular pleasure at your expense, bent over laughing in the hallway as you taunted the destroyer of worlds and got injured for it.

" _fUNK_ -"

You smacked face-first into a closed door that wasn't closed several seconds ago, and without hesitation, slammed open the upstairs hallway window and climbed out of it. Why didn't you try to open the door? It was far too probable that it had been closed and was being kept closed by magic. Thus, the illogical window route.

Unfortunately, even without hesitation in your actions, you simply weren't fast enough to outrun a magic skeleton. Strings snapped firm around your ankles and pulled you back into the hall, and you couldn't stop a blush from forming on your face as you stared at the destroyer of worlds with an upside down view.

"Heh... you're adorable... keep this up and I might think you're flirting with me..."

 _SLAM!_ Into the wall you soared.

"OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY WOULD YOU STOP ATTACKING ME? I'm PROBABLY your ONLY TICKET HOME, y'KNOW! _Funkin_ ' ow..."

You remained in the crumpled position being flung into the wall had left you in, and sniffled, attempting to work up some tears to show you actually gave a fuck. This endeavor seemed somewhat successful, as Blueberry rushed forward and picked you up with a grand, staticky statement that you couldn't understand, but you smiled at him all the same.

"You are just too precious, you know that? I could just eat you up...!"

A mischievous grin forming on your face as the tears stopped, a suitable idea for his punishment forming as you leaned in and whispered into the cinnamon roll's... nonexistent ear. Skeletons don't have ears.

_"...of course, I would be just fine being eaten by you, too..."_

Ah... your pervertedness rewarded you. The Blueberry became a brilliant lantern.

Moving to a standing position, you lifted the smol and flustered Blueberry bridal-style and made a mad dash down the stairs, giggling madly as you kidnapped him to the dining room. You hadn't even gotten the chance to try Edge's cooking yet, and that was a darn shame. With Error distracted, you'd hopefully be able to snag a few bites before being attacked again, and you fully intended on enjoying those bites!

The lasagna looked glorious. It sparkled, not because of glitter, but because of a delicate sheen of water droplets flicked over the top.

_This was the pride and joy of an artisan. There could be no denying it._

Still holding Blueberry hostage in the grasp of your left arm, you grabbed a fork with your right hand and hurriedly cut a portion of the large lasagna for yourself, transferring it onto a plate with the skill of one who is used to doing things one-handed. The rushed footsteps of several skeletons coming down the stairs had you cutting loose a bite and shoving it in your mouth without hesitation~!

Your eyes widened, and tears began to form.

The few skeletons who hadn't left the table at all- Sans, Geno, Nightmare, and Fresh- began to look concerned at your reaction to the pasta- except for Nightmare and Fresh. Nightmare just looked somewhat amused, whilst Fresh was grinning in an entirely unreadable manner.

Your tastebuds had died and gone to the afterlife... heaven, hell, both?

You took another bite, holding Blueberry tighter as you were tackle-glomped by Papyrus and reflexively stiffened up at the relatively unexpected contact. The fork was removed and dropped quickly so you wouldn't choke on it, but you kept chewing the bite in your mouth, until you could finally swallow and give your honest review.

"EDGE!? E-"

You saw him enter the room with Red and Sci behind him, and took a moment to squeal at seeing your CPAU OTP hanging out before continuing your review in Papyrus' arms. Skeletons were more comfortable than you'd expect.

"Edge, your cooking... it's..."

You paused dramatically, watching the tall and edgy skeleton scowl at you before completing your review.

"... _indescribable_."

Squirming free of your cinnamon roll captor's enthusiastic embrace, you sat down with Blueberry held firmly on your lap, and continued eating the lasagna as though the meal had never been interrupted. The randomness was real, but you needed food before you could return to your bedroom and inspect the battered machine that Sci had crawled out of earlier.

...also you were kinda scared of the look Honey was giving you for kidnapping his bro.


	6. How About a Tu-Toriel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing the game to the skellies... without your hostage. Drat.

Finally managing to get all the skeletons to finish the lasagna, you let out a sigh of relief and went semi-limp in your chair- except your left arm, you were _determined_ to keep Blueberry for a little while longer- in preparation for the questions you expected. Someone would need to get the notebook though...

"Meh... I'm officially energied out brosephs... so it's time for serious talk... I hereby nominate Papyrus to get the Notebook of Communication... mainly because I don't wanna let go of Blueberry right now, and I know Honey ain't leaving until I do... otherwise I'd nominate him to do it..."

You waved a lazy right arm towards the living room, where you last knew the notebook had been used. Sans didn't seem to appreciate the use of his brother as a fetching service- you made the effort to avoid making a pun about Papyrus being attractive- but your blank stare probably showed him how little you cared. Still, it'd probably be better to explain why your mood had altered so drastically before the uber cinnamon roll got back- Blueberry didn't count, he was a Sans, Sanses were inherently calculative and he would've figured it out eventually- so you sighed to start.

"Welp, to start things off, I apologize in advance and in retrospect for any unpredictable acts I may or have committed. It can be difficult dealing with someone as crazy as me, I know. I deal with me every day."

A yawn escaped your lips, and you reflexively covered your mouth out of the little shred of polite social manners you possessed.

"Sorry 'bout that. So, I act like I'm on a constant sugar rush until I crash. That's basically how I do. And this here is my crash. Welcome to the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle, enjoy your stay.  
...  
Anyways, it'd probably be a good idea for y'all to formulate some list of questions n _shiz_ , but before that, I'mma explain some stuff. For one, like I mentioned earlier, this is the... universe? world? meh... of your Creators. To get rid of that pesky layer of description, I'mma just show you."

You mustered the energy to accept the notebook as Papyrus returned, and tossed it haphazardly onto the table with a pen before standing up.

"Here, you can write down the questions that come to mind while I'm demonstrating stuff. We gotta go into the living room though, my tablet doesn't have a big enough screen for y'all to see what I'm doing, and I can bluetooth connect it to the TV. Onwards, Blueberry, my trusty steed...~"

Going limp, you fell on Blueberry, left arm keeping hold of him as he reacted to your sudden weight and tried to remain upright. Unfortunately, he seemed displeased with the arrangement, but you just couldn't muster the will to care... until Honey picked you up himself and dumped you heavily upon the couch, freeing his bro from your grasp.

Yep, there goes your hostage... Good job, you...

"Okay, I would like to begin my three part apology for totally overturning your views upon your existence by saying that I think you're all awesome people and that I really look up to and respect most of you..."

The flattest look you have ever seen on a skeleton convinced you to get to the point.

"...right."

Connecting your tablet to the TV, you loaded up the most recent run you'd completed, and observed as Flowey popped up on screen.

*Hi.  
*Seems as if everyone is perfectly happy.  
*Monsters have returned to the surface.  
*Peace and prosperity will rule across the land.  
*Take a deep breath.  
*There's nothing left to worry about.

*...

*Well.  
*There is one thing.  
*One last threat.  
*One being with the power to erase EVERYTHING...  
*Everything everyone's worked so hard for.

*...

*You know who I'm talking about, don't you?  
*That's right.  
*I'm talking about YOU.  
*YOU still have the power to reset everything.  
*Toriel, Sans, Asgore, Alphys, Papyrus, Undyne...

*If you so choose...

*Everyone will be ripped from this timeline...  
*...and sent back before all of this ever happened.  
*Nobody will remember anything.  
*You'll be able to do whatever you want.

*...

*That power.  
*I know that power.  
*That's the power you were fighting to stop, wasn't it?  
*The power that I wanted to use.  
*But now, the idea of resetting everything...

*I...

*I don't think I could do it all again.  
*Not after that.

*...

*So, please.  
*Just let them go.  
*Let Frisk be happy.  
*Let Frisk live their life.

*...

*But.  
*If I can't change your mind.  
*If you DO end up erasing everything...

*...

*You have to erase my memories, too.

*...

*I'm sorry.  
*You've probably heard this a hundred times already, haven't you...?

*...

*Well, that's all.  
*See you later...

*Chara.

A stunned silence followed, and after several moments, the introduction scene started up. You took a moment to absorb the atmosphere, and smiled sadly to yourself.

"Right... I forgot about that. Anyways, welcome to Undertale. Write down those questions you've got, and please refrain from killing me until you see this all the way through. Heh, it'll give you some real insight into the whole Frisk and Chara thing... at least it will for the Classics. Ink, Error, Fresh, Dream, and Nightmare are likely already aware of these things due to their multiversal capacity."

Continuing, you reached the Save Screen, at which Geno gasped quietly. He recognized it, of course, and seemed to subconsciously reach out for the True Reset button as you highlighted it in yellow and selected it.

*Name the fallen human.  
C-h-a-r-a.  
Done.

*The true name.  
Yes.

As the little sprite that represented Frisk popped up amidst a bed of golden flowers, the more innocent skeletons before you seemed to edge closer to the TV screen, leaving you on the couch with the lazier ones to do the playthrough under their close supervision...

You felt the sudden urge to make a time joke.

"The past and the present walked into a bar... _it got tense_."

Nobody laughed. You pouted, but let it go in favor of continuing.

Encountering Flowey, you began leading these skeletons upon the road of spoilers, and smiled to yourself as you made a bad imitation of Flowey's voice, reading out his introduction speech. It was one of your favorite parts of the game, if you were entirely honest- the 'Your Best Friend' music in the background and his pretense of friendship really set the mood for Frisk's introduction to the Underground.

You smirked to yourself as Toriel appeared, keeping quiet as you thought of all the puns you could use... but you restrained yourself, and read the sign in the first puzzle room she solves for you.

"Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road. Man, this very sign is what first made me fall in love with this game, y'know? Seeing a riddle like this just hit me right in the nostalgia feels of my nerdiness. Riddles, puzzles, puns... Toriel giving us a tutorial! I didn't even like puns before playing this game. Now I'm armed to the teeth with 'em."

You shook your head to get out of the wistful feeling overcoming you, and focused on the game again.

"Anyways, I'll stop at the end of the Ruins for questions. Pay close attention to this part- it's likely none of you normal AU dwellers are aware of what goes on here- and remember to write down all the questions you have!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, comment some questions that you want the skeletons to ask! It can be any question~ _any question_ ~ that goes through the entire game and previous chapters of the story! I'mma be picking the best ones, so make them good ones!


	7. Genocide and Philosophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How about some angst to go with that cup of traves-tea?

The painted golden sunrise shone faded from the screen, and the credits began to roll.

"WELP, that was fun. So, should we go for the _other_ relevant route immediately, or should I answer some questions first?"

The notebook was all but shoved in your face.

"Okay then. Let's see..."

You skimmed over the page, and noticing that the question at the bottom was incomplete, turned the page to find several more questions lining the paper. Glancing up, you saw the skeletons all staring at you, and blushed for some reason before looking back to the notebook and flipping to the first page again.

"Ahem, right. First question, am I the cause of the RESETs? Getting right into the heavy stuff, I see."

Tilting your head slightly and looking at the plain, white ceiling, you thought for a moment, and shrugged.

"This is only the second time I've reached the end of the Pacifist Route, so that's a negative. There is the possibility that I caused one or two of the RESETs on my own, alongside the millions of other people who have played this game, but the amount of timelines and universes themselves are infinite. Humanity is certainly appreciative of this game, but it's literally impossible for us to have created an infinite amount of anything. So, maybe, but more than likely not."

You held out a hand for the pen, and ignoring the looks of mixed skepticism and relief, crossed off the first question.

"Okay, next up! Would I smooch a skeleton?"

Narrowed eyes surveyed the watching skeletons.

"Heck. Yeah."

...There was no indication as to who wrote that.

"Moving on, I named the fallen human Chara because that is their actual name, but the creator of the game suggests that you name the human after yourself. The names of your pets also work. You asked why I needed to name them in the first place..."

Picking up your tablet once the Special Credits began to roll, you started to dodge the incoming names, pouting slightly when you hit a few.

"Pause on the previous question, will answer in a moment. These special credits, if entirely untouched, reveal the home of the Annoying Dog. Yes, the one who steals the Special Attack during the Snowdin boss fight, and the one who steals the bones from under the sink. The Annoying Dog is basically the game developer's self-insert, so he's like the god in your world? I dunno."

The game finally returned to the intro sequence, and you triggered a second True Reset.

"Anyways, the question you asked about Chara, and basically all the other questions relevant to them, need to be answered through a Genocide Run. I've never completed the run myself- always got stuck in the Judgment Hall, you OP jackwagon- but I've seen videos of the ending. Soooo without further ado, I offer ye the Genocide Route!"

.  
.  
.

The screen showed Frisk on a bed of flowers, and you began the run, humming along to the music until you were attacked by the first Froggit. With one lucky strike, you dealt a lethal 21 HP, and blinked in surprise.

"Huh... I've never killed that Froggit before. It gives you an entire level? Whoa. That's an OP Froggit. Close to the transition to Final Froggit status maybe... Cool."

You felt your sins crawling on your back.

* * *

When the music went to eerie bass tones, you took a moment to glance around at the skeletons around you. For the most part, they were watching how easily you progressed through the Ruins- reaching Toriel's home without a scratch- but each one had some diversion for their attention.

Classic Sans glanced at you on occasion with an unreadable expression, probably taking your nonchalance at the game as a sign that you were gonna kill them all when you got the chance.

Classic Papyrus was torn between watching the screen with a curious expression, and checking on his brother. The innocence was endearing.

The UnderFell brothers seemed to be bored by this situation. Red had fallen asleep leaning against the wall, and Edge was watching you play with probably the sole interest of gathering intelligence on the human within.

Honey was watching you more than anything else, no doubt reading your soul to make sure you weren't actually gaining any LOVE from doing this. Huh... not gaining LOVE while killing monsters in this was actually a pretty good point towards the 'Not Being A Cause of the RESETs' idea.

Blueberry was sitting with Classic Papyrus, eyelights focused intently upon the screen. This Chara was different from his own, but he still believed in them...

Dream was sniffling slightly, tears welling up in his sockets for the monsters being killed, even though they were only on screen. The sympathetic sorrow was real with this one.

Nightmare looked to be bored out of his mind. He was practically asleep standing up, right alongside his brother and Red. Only the quiet sniffles of his twin kept him awake.

Geno looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than here, watching this massacre, but also like he was forcing himself to stay. There was a gleam of self-hatred in his sockets, like he deserved to see his friends and family and people wiped out... You recalled that he was dubbed a masochist by Reaper!Sans in the Christmas Party AU comic.

Sci appeared utterly fascinated. From what you could recall of his story, he had studied the Save Points alongside Gaster and the father of Alphys, after the former managed to create one. No doubt the concept of saving your progress like a video game was very similar.

Ink was mostly ignoring the game, painting something on the walls... You didn't ask about it.

Error was trying to watch the playthrough, likely curious to see how it went from the Player's side, as he was very much aware of how it went from inside the files.

Fresh appeared to be antagonizing the black boned skeleton, ignoring the game entirely out of some 'if you don't see it, it doesn't exist' ideology. Poor guy, he only just started feeling actual emotions after the 2016 Love Ball, and the first emotion he felt was fear... fear of Creators like you.

With a sigh, you hit the FIGHT button and killed the in-game Toriel, moving on through Snowdin quickly. It was fortunate that the skeletons were okay enough with the game not affecting reality that they didn't want to kill you anymore.

* * *

"This here is the fight of Undyne the Undying. She's the second most difficult boss in the entire game, mainly because she doesn't just break apart and die in one hit. Well, she does, but she musters up the determination to pull herself back from the brink of death and keep on fighting... hence the moniker, Undyne the Undying."

You hummed thoughtfully to yourself for a moment, not skipping any dialogue so the others could read her battle introduction speech, and began to mumble your thoughts aloud.

"So... so far I've only been using the stick and bandage, and I haven't eaten any monster food... possible No Consumables Run, possible bonus commentary in the Neutral Ending call if I keep using the stick or the bandage... buuut this is a Genocide Run, so there won't be a phone call at the end... buuuut this isn't gonna be a No-Hit Run..."

A push on your shoulder brought your awareness back to the skeletons, and you blinked, peering over at the one who had nudged you. 

"Hmm? Wassup?"

Sci held out the notebook in your direction, having taken it to write more questions, and pointed to one in particular.

"Oh, that? Yeah, people created challenges for this game. A No Consumables Run means that you don't eat a single crumb, and your reward at the end of the run is that Sans tells you that you look like you need some food. Someone discovered that along with the Bandage Run, where you go through with the starter Bandage as your armor the entire game and get a comment from Sans about always 'wearing that gross bandage'. Basically those things, alongside all the different possible Neutral Endings in this game, made people want to find out every possible ending. All lines of dialogue are relevant, all monsters are relevant, absolutely everything is relevant. I've completed a Bandage Run, getting the phone call at the Pacific-Neutral Ending, which is necessary for the True Pacifist Ending to be unlocked."

A staticky choking sound drew your attention to Geno, who had turned to vomit in the nearby trash can. You frowned sympathetically, and tried not to imagine what the puke of magic skeletons looked or smelled like- you tended to throw up when others threw up nearby. Poor Geno though.

"Entertainment basically exists to distract from the horrible aspects of life. Unfortunately, the horrible aspects bleed through into everything, until it's all turned to dust..."

Your thoughts got dark for a moment, but you shook your head, sitting up and trying to smile.

"However, there is still good in the world. Kindness and morality still exist, and this game is actually something that proves it! With all the possible endings, so many people seek to find out everything for the sake of having the knowledge, but there are just as many people who've done the Pacifist Run and quit there, even though this is just a game to them. While some may disagree, the good aspects of the game's Players are still present when the game is not being played. That's why..."

You paused, noticing that you'd gone on a bit of a rant.

"Oh... sorry... but yeah, that's why I still believe in the good in people?"

The tablet was pulled up to hide your face, your knees pulled up as well to block your view of the sitting skeletons, so they wouldn't see your embarrassed expression.


	8. Determination.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sans Battle arrives. (And yes, I am a total whore for Undertale Stronger than You parodies.)

After several awkward and pissed off stares at the death of Papyrus _("alas poor Yorick, I knew him well")_ and the anger-tinged conversation that had ensued, you poured your focus into the game, well aware of the fact that they'd hate you for a while. Despite that, you were prepared to face such consequences, in order to give them the full disclosure that they deserved.

You were _Determined_ to show them everything.

With a focus that barely wavered, you soon reached Undyne's battle, and settled deeper into what you called a Gamer's Trance. This was, of course, the well-known focus one places upon a game that cannot be wavered by anything but absolute victory or utter defeat, wherein all outside distractions are ignored until the connection with the game is broken. Undyne was the second most-difficult battle in Undertale, and the first time you had battled her, it'd taken you three non-stop hours to finally take her down, equipped with the Cloudy Glasses and the Ballet Slippers. You'd been in a gamer's trance then too, and this would likely take some time to complete, due to the finicky nature of the Gamepad emulator you used to play Undertale on your tablet.

As you played, the various skeletons became deeply interested in the determination flaring up in your soul, those who could see it glancing between it and the screen every so often. Ink, in particular, was fascinated by the total lack of anger you displayed, as though it weren't the game itself that was making you feel determined. It seemed that Honey picked up on that too, but less through casual analysis, and more through reading your soul directly.

Finally, after a high-intensity amount of time spent defeating Undyne, you sat back and covered a yawn with one hand.

"Welp, that was exhausting. I should probably eat something or nap, but who needs food and sleep, right? I mean, canonically, Papyrus has never eaten a bite of his own spaghetti, and doesn't sleep. Yet still he somehow has massive pools of magic, and more power and control in the tips of his distal phalanges than most others. And I mean that in a completely platonic manner, I'm not coming on to your bro, Sans... in either sense."

The disgusted look Classic Sans sent your way earned a lazy grin and finger guns in response... He didn't seem happy. Papyrus seemed oblivious, but had an orange tinted blush on his cheeks, and remained uncharacteristically silent. It was very probable that he was thinking through the morality of the game and what you were for playing it.

Dismissing the skeletons at risk of peril, you stared dully at the screen as you began eradicating the 40 monsters of the Hotland and Core areas. At this point, the grinding was a mindless task, but you stayed awake, both in order to avoid making them think less of you for being bored while killing their kind, and out of determination to finish this all up in a day.

Sitting up at the doorway to Mettaton's battle, you set down the tablet for a moment and lightly smacked your cheeks with both hands, waking yourself back up. This garnered a few curious looks, but you ignored them in favor of reaching for your tablet again-

It was gone?

For several moments, you stared at your empty lap in total incomprehension, then blinked slowly and scanned the room for who had taken it.

"Erm... The touchscreen runs off of the static electricity produced by the various oils and chemicals present in a human's fingertips, so you probably won't be able to use it unless you can manifest some ecto-flesh or something... and that'd just tease so many of my kinks that I'm not sure you wanna do it."

Your lazy grin was accompanied by half-lidded eyes, and you suddenly found yourself flung to the other side of the room by Edge, colliding against the wall with several sickening _snaps_ from your joints popping.

"Aaahhhhhh... I have an owie... on my everywhere..."

Closing your eyes, remaining crumpled at the base of the wall, you ignored the staticky sounds of panicked and angry skeleton speech. _(They do care!)_ Rather than waste your energy on moving, you decided to waste it on contemplating the damages you had received, and how much more you thought you could take.

First injury was from the skeletons landing in your room, upon your back. Second injury was being strangled by Geno. Third injury was Edge strangling you and punching you in the face. Fourth injury was being dragged through a window and thrown against a wall by Error. And now, this fifth injury, being catapulted across the room into yet another wall. Tsk, you bruised easily too! This was gonna make you fugly by the time it was settled.

_But... it wasn't like you didn't deserve it._

Finally sitting up, but not opening your eyes, you took a slow and deep breath. You had something important to say.

"Despite the carelessly violent nature I exude with video games and other entertainment, I am not inherently violent myself. I will not raise my hand to anyone until I have absolutely no other choice. I will not intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. As you have checked yourselves, I have the lowest Level of Violence, and zero Execution Points. Kindly stop harming me before I find myself with no options left. I like you all, and I would really rather not end up accidentally injuring or dusting any of you. Thank you."

With that, you stood up and began to search for your tablet, opening your eyes in order to do so. The tablet was in Sci's hands- where else would it be?- and you plucked it neatly from his bony phalanges before sitting down in the beanbag chair and picking up where you left off.

"Oh, those of you who dislike Mettaton might find this amusing. He talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk."

Cheer had returned to your voice as you entered the battle with Mettaton NEO, and began to repeatedly use the *Check action.

"His appearance makes it seem as though he's tough _shiz_ \- although to be fair, I was terrified of Papyrus the first time I saw him yelling in capslock by the conveniently shaped lamp, so I'm kinda a wimp. But! Cinnamon roll skellies can be scarier than anything else in existence. Especially Disbelief cinnamon rolls. Those are the definition of True Fear."

You shuddered slightly at the thought, and finally chose the FIGHT option, taking down the robot in one go.

"Anyways, I think I'm just gonna continue a running commentary, since being quiet makes y'all wanna hurt me. I might react oddly to pain, but I'm not a masochist. At least, not in that sense. I prefer to avoid physical pain, thanks. Emotional pain is another story. Just call me Dead Inside until I find some decent fanfiction to read. Hoo boy, that's when I feel the good _shiz_. I should probably show you some of the fanfiction about you guys at some point, but avoiding the smut may be slightly difficult. Also I may or may not show the non-innocent of y'all smut on purpose."

The Last Corridor came into view, and equipping yourself with the Real Knife and the Heart Locket, you used the save point.

"This battle is a large part of why I like Undertale. Sure, it's the toughest battle ever that I've never managed to get past, heck I haven't even been able to reach the part where you pull an I Surrender, Sucker, but yeah. This battle is one of my favorite aspects of the game, as it truly shows your character."

Moving Frisk forward, a small smile formed as you triggered the speech, and lip-synced the most significant part of it.

*do you believe that even the worst person can change?  
*that everyone can be a good person, if they just try?  
*heh heh heh...  
*all right, here's a better question...  
*do you wanna have a bad time?"

A slow grin spread across your face. You knew you'd regret it later, but you were beginning to feel excited about this battle. Sans seemed to be somewhat nervous, alternating between staring at his bro, the screen, and you, but that only fueled your... anticipation.

"Get ready for a long sit down, mis amigos, cuz this is the toughest battle in the game, and I suck at dodging. Also pardon my excitement, I'm just really eager to see how you react to the battle. I feel like with y'all beside me watching, I can finally beat the Genocide Run. Kinda backwards when you think about it, but the game doesn't effect reality, so I'm allowed to be excited without feeling guilty about it!"

You ignore a sharp glance from Geno, and begin to fight.

*did you really think i'd just stand there and take it? 

"Being entirely honest, it's pretty shocking that you're the only monster who thought to actually dodge. I'm not sure if that's because of some monster code of conduct, or just because you fight dirty when you have the existence of a universe itself resting on your shoulders, but either way you defy the turn-based battle system in play. It's... really quite refreshing."

Distracted as you were, you weren't really paying attention to what you were saying, focused primarily on the battle. However, you could still sense the skeletons nearby, watching the screen and listening to you as you finally managed to reach the mercy option.

"OH MY GOSH THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE REACHED THIS POINT. OKAY. OKAY HAAAAHHHhhhhhh. Haha! Ha... Okay, so do I show you guys what happens when you choose Mercy, or keep fighting onwards? I promised myself I'd show you everything in the game, so I guess Mercy it is! Onwards!"

With a few quick taps across the screen, the *Spare option was chosen, and you stared intensely at the screen. This time, you didn't read the dialogue aloud, but instead mouthed the words, and simply reloaded upon the arrival of the Game Over screen.

"It's a beautiful day outside.  
Birds are singing, flowers are blooming.  
On days like these, kids like you...  
**Should be burning in Hell.**

Turn around kid, it'd be a crime...  
If I had to go back on the promise that I made for you,  
So don't step over that line...  
Or else, friend, you're gonna have a bad time...

But kids like you don't play by the rules,  
And guys like me, it ain't easy to be played for fools...  
So let's go, let the room get chiller...  
Let's go, dirty brother killer..."

Singing absentmindedly, you didn't notice the song you'd chosen to start singing, focused on the battle as you were. The skeletons weren't entirely certain how to react to the song, although Nightmare certainly seemed to get some amusement from the emotions it was evoking in his Classic counterpart. 

However, the singing stopped once you reached the second moment of Mercy, and your grin returned.

*friendship.  
*it's really great, right?  
*let's quit fighting.

A quiet squeal of excitement escaped your lips, and you took a moment to squeeze the arm of the closest skeleton.

"This right here is my personal favorite part of the Genocide Run. Only unlockable if you choose Mercy and get dunked on, then reach this point again without dying in-between. Just look at this sassy _funkin_ ' dialogue right here!"

You waved a hand towards the TV screen as you chose the Fight button, allowing the skeletons to read the dialogue.

*woah.  
*you look REALLY pissed off...  
*heheheh...  
*did i getcha?

You muffled another squeal in your hands and bounced in place, eyes bright with excitement.

" _FUNKIN_ ' DID I GETCHA? THAT'S SOME GASTER BLASTER MASTER CASTER SASS! I love it, I'm sorry I'm acting like a teenage fangirl about it, but the sass is just _real_!"

Moving your hands up to cover your face, you squealed a little bit more before somewhat calming down, your face flushed from a mixture of embarrassment and dehydration. Standing up, you ran towards the kitchen, calling out behind you so the skeletons would know what you were doing.

"Okay I really need some water or I might pass out, so I'll be right back, feel free to have private conversations without me present! Even though I can't understand you so technically all your conversations are private- details, details!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you wanna see any situations come up with the skellies, feel free to let me know! Ideas are always welcomed =)


	9. Get Dunked On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare fucks with you through one of your deepest fears.  
> You break down, wake up, and accept it.

Humming slightly, you snuggled deeper into the blankets twisted around your form, ignoring the high-pitched beeping from your watch across the room. You'd set its alarm for 5 in the morning, back when you had important classes early enough to want to be awake for, but that time had passed and you were too lazy to turn it off. This was perhaps one of your longest lasting lazy acts, or perhaps a symptom of your occasional depressive seasons, and you couldn't really bother to change it. Thus, on the rare mornings you woke up early enough to hear it, you simply ignored it in favor of going back to sleep.

Unfortunately, mornings like this- where you couldn't go back to sleep as much as you tried- still occurred, and it was with a sudden jolt of surprise that you came fully into awareness.

_The skeletons._

You could remember getting water and finishing the Genocide Run, then showing your multiversal guests to the basement. It was the only place in the house that had enough space for them, and while you had impressed the importance of remaining in the house, they likely hadn't stayed down there just because you went to bed...  
The machine, the one Sci had arrived in! That was in your room yesterday, but it was gone now. You could see indents from it in the carpet, but strangely, when you pressed down on them, the carpet didn't feel any different.

Shaking your head dismissively, you wandered off out of your room and down the hall, taking the silence of the household to mean that everyone was still asleep- _holy shit you had skeletons in your house, you still couldn't believe it_ \- and imagined that you'd go unseen for maybe another hour. The Papyrus equivalents were supposed to be running around early in the mornings, according to several stories placing them as rising for action at sunrise, but you wouldn't be surprised if a protective Sans equivalent or two simply to prevent them from being alone with you.

You'd literally killed everyone in Undertale just the previous night, in front of them. Shit, they probably hated your guts. _Jealous of what they didn't have_ \- wait, that was a bad joke. Don't tell them that.

Shaking your head, you brought a hand up to massage your corresponding temple, feeling a headache settling in. You hadn't eaten enough lately, maybe just the lasagna yesterday and some bowls of ramen the days before, so this was likely a hunger headache. Due to not doing much physical activity, your body had gotten used to the sparse diet without any adverse effects- that you noticed- but headaches were a fairly common occurrence that went away when you ate or drank something.

Wandering down the stairs, you made your way into the kitchen, and scanned for any leftover lasagna. None remained- a dull disappointment that dragged down your already guilty mood- and a check in the sink showed that the dishes had been cleared away. At least you didn't have to clean up after your guests- horrible host etiquette, you knew, but couldn't bring yourself to care about. Right now, all you wanted was food and sleep.

Grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and a large bag of cereal, you checked the fridge for milk before getting yourself a bowl of cereal- this kind of cereal eaten dry was just not as good as it was with milk. Not bothering to use the seat just a few feet away, you ate standing up, drinking the milk at the end before putting it in the sink at the end. The dull silence of the house began to weigh on you...

Blinking yourself into a higher energy level, you made your way to the basement staircase and descended, just wanting to take a quick peek at your gue-

The basement was empty.

_The basement was empty._

WHERE DID THEY GO?

Wide awake now, you ran deeper into the basement and began searching for signs of them, signs of where they could've gone. Nothing. Running back upstairs and through the average-sized house brought about the same results, and making your way out to the backyard didn't yield any results either.

Did they choose to leave? Did they not believe you when you told them about the lack of monster existence in your universe? Were they just playing some cruel joke on you?

_...did they never even exist?_

Sprinting back inside, locking the door behind you, you made your way through the house at a brisk walk. Each room was checked again, the curtains on the windows all deliberately closed to block out the light of the sunlight and make it easier to catch sight of any glowing eyelights. None were spotted, however, and you began to breathe a bit faster as you thought back to the placements of everything you'd touched yesterday.

Dishes. They'd all been in their proper places.

Doors. All open or closed, exactly the way you'd left them.

Blankets. You ran to the hallway closet and checked- they were perfectly in place.

The indents the machine left in the carpet! They were... still there, but no machine...

"Oh stars... have I finally gone insane? What... what the _funk_ is going on...?"

You brought a hand up to cover the upper half of your face, partially blocking your vision and pinching the bridge of your nose simultaneously. Your other hand was used to grasp the armrest of the couch and guide your body onto it, but the sensation of sitting on something had you jump back up in surprise. However, when you looked back, nothing was there, and the next time you sat down, nothing but couch cushions met your rear end.

" _Shiz_... wait... I don't censor myself. Think logically, you neurotic _funk_ er!"

You reached up to slap yourself on the cheeks a few times, using the pain to sharpen your focus as you thought aloud.

"I couldn't hear them before. Maybe now I can't feel or see them? It explains the indents in the carpet, if the time travel machine is also affected. The sink... wasn't empty the day before yesterday, there were two mugs, three plates, and one bowl in there, but this morning there were none. I don't hand wash my dishes, but they were in the cabinet, so somebody did. The curtains were open this morning, I never leave them open because I like the way the darkness makes it easier to see the screen of my tablet while the brightness is all the way down. The doors to outside were locked, and the house is empty except for me. Overall there is solid proof of someone else's presence while I was asleep, and nobody visits me cuz I have no friends- hahaha- so that must be the case. The only thing- THE NOTEBOOK, WHERE THE _FUNK_ IS IT!"

You leapt up, stumbled from slight dizziness, and immediately began searching for your notebook. Last you were aware, Sci had commandeered it, and had been diligently filling it with notes for himself and questions for you to answer. That was before you showed the skeletons to the basement, and you couldn't recall where it'd gone afterwards... so it was likely that Sci still had it.

"Okay. Okay. Calm yourself, dangit. Logic rises where emotions fall. It's some sort of left brain, right brain _shiz_ , I think. Stop talking to yourself. Right this instant. Don't do it."

You closed your eyes, and took several deep breaths.

"I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane."

* * *

Humming slightly, you snuggled deeper into the blankets twisted around your form, ignoring the high-pitched beeping from your watch across the room. You'd set its alarm for 5 in the morning, back when you had important classes early enough to want to be awake for, but that time had passed and you were too lazy to turn it off. This was perhaps one of your longest lasting lazy acts, or perhaps a symptom of your occasional depressive seasons, and you couldn't really bother to-

Wait. This was familiar.

Jolting upright, you immediately stared to the part of the room that had the machine in it, and sighed in relief. A nearby burst of static had you turning to see the black, dripping form of Nightmare looking rather amused at your panic, and a somewhat guilty-looking Geno behind him.

...

What the fuck.

...

A single eyelid twitched as you thought, but a quick slap relieved you of the stuttered thought process setting it off, alongside a deep breath.

"...Okay I'm just gonna take that whole subconscious fiasco as my punishment for freaking you all out. I gotta say that it was very effective, and if you two feel like I need to be punished again, go right ahead. Nightmares are good fuel for stories anyways."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past and the present walked into a bar.  
> Things got tense.


	10. Is it a Sugar Rush, or Bipolar Disorder?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not dead. Hooray!

"GOOOOOOOOD MYTHICAL MORNING! Oh wait, wrong thing."

Not bothering to change out of your pajamas, you simply grabbed your tablet and some earbuds and barged out your bedroom door past Geno and Nightmare, and leapt down the stairs five at a time. Considering you only had thirteen steps between your first and second floor, the third leap had your face making the acquaintance of the front door with a loud thud. HOWEVER! You were not deterred from your mission!

What was this mission, one might ask? BREAKFAST! Or lunch, considering that it was already past noon, but details details!

"MAKE WAY IN THE KITCHEN IF ANYONE'S IN THERE, I HAVE MORE MOMENTUM THAN I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH! ALSO PLEASE NOBODY TRIP ME, COUGH _FELL_ COUGH."

Running full speed into the kitchen, you collided directly into the side of the fridge, but simply bounced off and kinda rolled around the side to its front... it was weird. With a smile brighter than reasonable, you grabbed a bowl of water and a package of instant noodles, and shoved the bowl into the microwave for three minutes. Feeling the curious stares of the skeletons present, you grinned at your outright ignoring of the instructions on the package, and began dramatically narrating your actions as you did them.

"YOU TOOK THE NOODLES OUT OF THE PACKAGING, AND PUT THEM IN THE BOILING WATER. BACK INTO THE MICROWAVE THE BOWL WENT..."

Turning to stare dramatically at Papyrus, you hit a few buttons on the microwave without looking, and drawled out the game text as accurately as you could recall- unreasonably long pauses included.

"FOUR MINUTES LEFT.  
UNTIL THE NOODLES.  
ARE FINISHED.

THREE MINUTES LEFT.  
UNTIL THE NOODLES.  
ARE FINISHED.

TWO MINUTES LEFT.  
UNTIL THE NOODLES.  
ARE FINISHED.

ONE MINUTE LEFT.  
UNTIL THE NOODLES.  
ARE FINISHED.

THE NOODLES.  
ARE FINISHED."

Slamming the open button on the microwave, you took out the exceptionally hot bowl of noodles and drained out the excess water, before slamming the bowl back on the counter and stabbing the noodles with a fork. Your gaze wandered away from the Papyrus watching you in awe, and after taking in the sight of Red, Honey, Dream, Blueberry, Ink, and Error staring at you with expressions of varying emotion, you completed the instant noodles rendition.

"YOU TOOK A BITE OF THE NOODLES... THEY DON'T TASTE VERY GOOD. YOU ADD THE FLAVOR PACKET. THAT'S BETTER. NOT GREAT, BUT BETTER."

Proceeding to shrug and take a few more bites, you swallowed and spoke, lowering your voice back down to a decent volume as you did so.

"Yeah, I'm total Undertale trash. Basically what Alphys is to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, I am to Undertale. Anime is real, Undyne, anime is real. Instant noodles are a lot better than the game implies, although that might just be because I'm addicted to pasta. Name a pasta and I probably like it. If I haven't tried it, I probably will like it when I do. Ketchup is gross as _funk_ though, gimme whipped cream instead."

In case they hadn't discovered this already, this open-ended discussion with the air just drove home the idea that you liked to hear yourself talk. What you liked even more, however, was eating. Due to a general lack of manners brought about by your unusual bluntness, you stared down the skeletons as they chattered static sounds at each other, leaning against the counter and eating your noodles.

The sizes of the skeletons was really varying, as you had come to notice. Classic Sans was slightly shorter than you, at chin height, and Papyrus was about a couple heads taller than you. Red however, was slightly taller than you, and Edge was gigantic. Blueberry was the smallest, reaching chest height on you, and Honey would be the same height as Classic Papyrus if he weren't slouching. Error and Fresh were slightly shorter than Red, but taller than you, and Ink was exactly your height. Finally, Geno and Sci were both the same height as Classic Sans. You figured their height differences had to do with their timelines...

Red, noticing your stare, smirked at you with a gleam in his eyelights that only a pervert could possess. Even though you couldn't understand him, you felt that you understood his character enough to guess what he was saying.

"Maybe I do like what I'm seeing. Could be because the fandom for Undertale has totally ruined human partners for me. Could be because I'm demisexual and everyone who lives in this universe is too shitty for me to get an emotional connection to. Who knows? Maybe I've read enough dirty fanfiction to be able to undress you with sheer mental will alone. Totally ship Ink and Error by the way- Paperjam is one of my favorite fandom babybones."

A shiver rolled up your spine, and you instinctively slid to the left, dodging an incoming string with surprising grace. Staring at the tiny hole now present in the upper cabinet door- right where your head had been just moments prior- you shrugged and took the hint.

"Alright, no talking about timeline babies. I'll just keep my theories to myself and my own fanfiction stories. Good luck finding my stories by the way. All the good ones are on this beta website online. I do have like four more elsewhere though. One such is a study on souls, one is the story of a female skeleton who was erased in the same mistake as Gaster- whoops, spoilers for Sci, keep him out of the room- and I have one that's actually got Frisk dying and not being able to RESET because of the-" 

You paused, realizing that nobody wanted to hear self-promotion, and smirked.

"Never mind, I'll let Classic Sans find that out for himself. Ships for days. OC's for days. Readers gonna need a time machine to get through the week... Speaking of time machines, how's the machine in my bedroom going along? I know none of you respect my privacy due to Edge going through my underwear and sock drawer, and due to waking up with Nightmare and Geno staring down at me, so y'all have probably checked out the machine at least."

Papyrus stood up and left the room, calling out something in a scratchy static that made goosebumps rise on your arms. Honey noticed them, but said nothing as the various nerdy skeletons gathered around the table in a way that made you want to sing.

"LET'S GATHER 'ROUND THE CAMPFIRE, AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG! OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G ow-"

Error successfully made the hit this time, and you experienced a particularly violent sneezing fit. Not the best reaction to have to the destroyer of worlds punishing you- _pun_ ishing, you needed to make some puns soon- for being an idiot, but it couldn't be helped.

"Bruh. I know I annoy you. But what did I say about physical harm last night, huh? No touchy the goods. Keep treating me like this and I might not try to help you get home."

Sans raised a single bony finger, and you pointed back at him with unexpected speed.

"Aht! I know you're thinking that you don't need me cuz you have the machine, but you ended up in my house of all possible houses to end up in. Thus, the plot demands that I have a use. No ifs, ands, what-is-the-plots, or buts."

As you spoke, you put the empty bowl into the sink, and pulled yourself up to sit on the countertop. Whatever Papyrus had said had gathered the full collection of skeletons in your kitchen, and you were actually feeling important for a change. Something you did mattered, hooray!

Humming quietly to yourself, lest you get slapped with another string, you closed your eyes and rested your chin on your hands and your elbows on your knees. The music going through your earbuds was from the Undertale-themed playlist that was selected last night, and currently a remix of SharaX was playing. Tokyovania Control... even though the words were just font noises, you'd memorized the lyrics from watching the video, and you had to admit that they suited their singers very well... you turned up the volume.

"No, you will not faze me, so come at me with all your will.  
My spirit's stronger, burning brighter, with the one's you've killed.  
I'm known as Vengeance, Retribution, and I'll drag you to UnderHell.  
A kid like you, should not exist, I know you won't be missed..."

This song had been stuck in your head for several consecutive days, appearing and disappearing at random, until you'd finally given in and put it on repeat. Now you could sing along as though you understood the fonts spoken... but alas, to the detriment of your new houseguests, you didn't.

"I gave Mercy, found forgiveness,  
Believed that somehow, I could still save your soul.  
I Spared you, and my death is a symbol,  
Now I know your heart's dead and-"

A loud crash brought your attention to the fact you'd been singing, and you silenced yourself, feeling perhaps a slight bit self-conscious at last. While you didn't care about what others said when in motion, slowing down and relaxing the way you just had allowed your insecurities to rise... WELP, ENOUGH OF THAT. Time to check on what the crash was.

Opening a single eye, you scanned the kitchen, and saw Edge in front of you. He was leaning towards your face and staring directly into your eyes- well, your opened eye- and you got the idea that he'd made the crash to get your attention without physically harming you... Nice, the skeletons were learning.

"Sup? Still can't understand font or case or whatever you call skeleton language, so you gotta use the trusty Notebook of Communication... yes, I named it that. I'm a geek. I name important things with dramatic titles."

Deciding that you didn't want to use your arm and leg muscles for a while, what with the injuries of yesterday really making themselves heard, you proceeded to let yourself go limp and fall off the countertop. Such a move startled more than one skeleton, but as fortune favored it, Edge acted quickly enough to catch you. This left you in the hold of the tall and handsome tsundere jackass, and you were unable to resist a lazy drawl...

"Let's give a round of applause to my favorite anti-hero, the Great and Terrible Papyrus, for capturing a D-I-D. Congratulations! You have moral standards. And no, none of that was sarcasm. You're really my favorite anti-hero in the Undertale Multiverse. Fell-based universes all have such potential within them..."

You trailed off, and noticed that the tol tsundere skeleton hadn't dropped you yet. That being the case, you decided to get as comfortable as bones could get, closing your eyes again.

"Wake me up when there's something important to discuss or something insane to do. Also I am completely open for cuddles. I love cuddling people despite having nobody that wants to cuddle with me. Did you know that some people actually get paid to cuddle others? I might try that sometime."


	11. Getting to the Soul of the Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You convince the skeletons to bring out your soul for SCIENCE... and promptly freak them out by playing with it.

Alas, you were unable to make yourself nap, and you begrudgingly admitted that the day had officially started for yourself. Doing so, you skillfully rolled out of Edge's bony arms and onto the floor, landing perfectly on your face and proceeding to remain still in order to process the pain.

"...Well that felt lovely. Time to move on."

Abruptly realizing something very, very important, your eyes widened and you scrambled up to a standing position, reaching out to grab the arm of the nearest non-haphephobic skeleton. This randomly chosen skeleton turned out to be Dream, whom you stared at with what would be sparkles in your eyes if you had magic.

"DREEEAAM CAN YOU SHOW ME MY SOUL? PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE? WITH LIKE TEN THOUSAND UNDERFELL SANS CHERRIES ON TOP?"

Red looked at you like you were crazy at that comment, and you waved him off with a simple explanation.

"One of your many nicknames is Cherry. Nicknames of yours include Red, Edge, Fell, Mustard, Cherry, and Goldie, although Edge and Fell are commonly used for your bro and Goldie is usually for the offset AU FlowerFell Sans."

A solemn tear fell down your cheek as you cried on demand, and brought your arm up to cover your eyes dramatically.

"FlowerFell is both why I ship Frans and why my heart is dead inside. The Overgrowth story just kills my feels every time I even think about it."

You turned back to Dream, trying your best to give him lost puppy-dog eyes and appeal to his innocence and drive for positive emotion. Unfortunately, Nightmare had gotten between his brother and you, and you were forced to back off with a pout and minor amount of respect for his protective instincts. Thus with this endeavor failed, you searched for the skeleton that would be most likely to show you your soul, and grinned in an absolutely devilish manner as you slid up next to Sci.

"Oh Sciiiiii~"

You turned on the flirtatious charm, grinning confidently and waggling your eyebrows suggestively.

"Would you be a dear and show me my soul?"

The poor nerd seemed flustered and uncertain of how to deal with you... as a result, you decided to tone down the flirty attitude in favor of a slightly more genuine curious one. Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, you used the other arm to gesture off into the distance, as though painting a picture with your words instead of a brush.

"C'mon breh, do it for science! I'm a weird human god being in comparison to your universe, think of how weird my soul is! It could be an unknown trait and color! It could be super ultra mega powerful! It could be entirely nonexistent! I volunteer as tribute in the spirit of scientific discovery and NERD POWER!"

You peered at him from the corner of your eye to check his reaction... He seemed to be thinking about it.

"Also I'm smarter than I act, so I'll probably be able to keep up with stuff if you walk me through it a bit. Like I already know a metric _shiz_ -ton of stuff about quantum mechanics and shortcuts needing negative mass and the edges of them being compressed enough to cause explosions with the strength of atom bombs and teleportation basing itself off of the uncertainty principle and other stuff! Basic stuff! I know basics. The current theories on teleportation involving cloning the atoms of a being are total baloney. Just use the Void!"

A few glances around revealed multiple science type skeletons pretending to be uninterested in the one-sided conversation, except for Sans Classic. He was outright staring at you with an expression you couldn't quite read... like he knew something that you didn't... 

You subtly released Sci in the direction of Red- ALWAYS SHIP THEM, ALWAYS- before approaching Sans and dramatically draping yourself across his lap. Mettaton would absolutely approve of the pose you were holding.

"Dearest Sansy, I know your face better than I know my own... You possess some knowledge that I do not. Perhaps..."

You scanned him up and down, a slow grin forming upon your lips as you saw his growing discomfort.

"Shh-shh-shhhh... just accept the cuddles... accept the lowercase love... positive physical contact is good for the soul."

He seemed resigned, and you chose that moment to wrap your arms over his shoulders and stare intently into his eyesockets. No longer could he escape, unless he teleported or took a shortcut away... it was the perfect moment to do what you called soft-interrogation.

"Given the previous conversation topic, perhaps this important thing you know has to do with my soul?"

His eyelights showed no change. Not correct.

"Hmm, it seems not. Perhaps teleportation... or the inability thereof. You seem like you would've teleported away by now."

Aha! A flash of emotion!

"Huehuehue... I seem to be on the right track... You'd all have been able to return home by now if you could access the Void. Perhaps you are unable to access it...?"

A flash of blue magic had you in the air and across the room in seconds, with a thoroughly disturbed expression upon Sans Classic's skull. Maybe you were a bit too intense with that... Oh well. At least he set you down gently. Progress!

"HAHA YES! NOT A WORD WAS NECESSARY! I should become a cop or something! Interrogation is easy! But ew, physical activity... but PARKOUR! I wanna do parkour and be epic, but I prefer using my brains to my brawn. Although I have absolutely no poker face, so I make my entire personality my poker face!"

You waggles your eyebrows suggestively at Honey.

"It's significantly harder to tell when someone is lying when they look like they're always lying."

As the blue magic faded and Sans noped himself out of the room, you watched him go and grinned wider, feeling particularly proud of yourself. You successfully freaked out a skelly. Maybe you should apologize later, if you could get him alone somehow. While you were at it, you should probably stop doing that, or they just might lose their patience with you and finally decide to kill you... yeah, you wanted to avoid that.

"BUT YEAH, BACK TO SOUL STUFF! I already know the defined traits of the seven basic soul colors and some fandom created traits of other colors, so if it's any of those then I'll probably know what it is. Lemme see my soul, peoples! I want in on the party that the Judges are holding! And possibly the Juries too. I dunno if there are multiple Jury Representations here..."

You scanned the Papyrus equivalents, as though merely looking at them would tell you whether or not they fit into the lore behind one of the stories you were writing in your off time... and dismissed the thought.

"Unlikely. Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities. The probability of getting skeletons that apply to the lore of my own fanfiction is maybe one divided by nine billion, one hundred and nine million, forty three thousand, four hundred and ninety five."

Error stared at you with an odd expression on his face, and you heard a glitched static question come from him. You had no idea what he said, and pointed dramatically to the Notebook of Communication that was currently in Geno's possession, with an unreasonably wide grin.

"For future reference, use the lovely Notebook of Communication, unless there's a way we can communicate through soul force or something. But wow, that probability is the exact probability of a universe like UnderSwap existing. That's just gotta be a freak accident."

The look on your face was best described as a mixture between a shit eating grin and barely restrained Undyne-level amusement... You knew exactly what you did, and so did Error. Inside jokes for the win!

Turning abruptly towards Sci, you spread out your arms and puffed out your chest slightly, indicating that you were ready for your soul to be pulled out. For funsies, you threw in a sexy hip wiggle, and cackled in delight at the blush that appeared on his zygomatic bones.

"Don't worry hon, I'm just naturally flirtatious. Try to resist my charms if you can, I'd hate for a Sans equivalent to fall for someone with an ego the size of Mettaton's. Papyton is the only ship I support involving Mettaton. Not a fan of the Soriel ship though, except the one in Reapertale. That is just a gorgeous relationship right there. Terribly tragic, what with Chara killing Toriel and Sans being unknowingly responsible for Chara being able to even _find_ the goddess... whoops, **spoilers right there**. Try to forget them if you don't wanna ruin the story for yourself. BACK TO SOUL STUFF! LAY IT ON ME, BABY~"

It seemed that the skeletons were becoming used to your random rantings, as Sci reached forth with his magic through your speaking, and the others were simply waiting for the appearance of your soul. The unwavering focus made you kinda nervous, and your hands instinctively went to your tablet to check on the music, an absent-minded action that did little to distract from the sensation of movement within the middle of your chest. Said sensation originated from a place on the upper part of your sternum, just below the hollow of your throat, and it was almost painfully slow... but eventually, in a burst of light, your soul showed itself.

You weren't sure what to say about the crystalline shape- yes, crystalline- as you reached forth and tapped a fingertip against the side. No sensation went through you at the touch, but the surface seemed to ripple like the surface of a smooth lake after a stone was thrown into it... It was beautiful, yet possessed a large amount of fissures and lesions beneath the crystalline surface, emotional scars showing through the apparent armor that had formed over them.

"...oh _dang_. Not sure if that's gorgeous or hideous. Suits me well! Hot on the outside, ugly on the inside. Ego and self-deprecation seem to be mixed rather nicely there."

You peered over it again, lifting it between the tips of your left index finger and thumb, and slowly brought your other hand up in flicking position. It was the exact size of a paper football... and poking it didn't seem to cause any harm... the temptation was too great to resist. Flying across the room at high speed, the soul was flicked by a brutally strong middle finger flick, and you found yourself giggling at the horrified expressions on the skulls of the skeletons as they dodged your soul.

"Oh geez that t-t-tickles! Runaway soul! We've got a runaway soul! I'll never be able to play blues music again!"

The sensation of your soul bouncing off of various objects was- indeed- more ticklish than painful. Of course, the reactions of the skeletons made it seem as though it should be agonizing instead of amusing, what with their mixture of shocked and concerned and amused stares at your ability to treat the culmination of your being so badly and even joke about it while doing so...

All too soon, your soul slammed into your chest, and you stumbled back into the counter from the force of its return. The urge to gasp for air made itself apparent, but you were able to tamp it down with a few coughs and chest punches... the skeletons just staring at you with a myriad of expressions on their faces. Unfortunately... you couldn't resist the urge to tease them a little bit about it.

"Awwww, you _do_ care! Tsunderes you are, all of you Sans equivalents, and precious cinnamon rolls the Papyrus equivalents!"

A firm smack to the face from Edge had you shutting up, and an unexpected barrage of clacking static text sounds met your ears as he scolded you thoroughly. It almost made you want to know what he was saying... buuuuuut you were never really good with getting yelled at by people you cared about, so it was actually a benefit that you couldn't understand him.

Poor bastards though. They were all stuck with crazy ol' you instead of someone who could actually help them... You weren't as good as you told yourself, your ego a mask as carefully crafted as an artisan's spaghetti. It was only a matter of time before you lost it, especially around this group of skeletons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I wrote a chapter of this instead of a chapter of my other story xD whoops xD


	12. Your Soul Is Not A Toy, Dammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You gain something unexpected and amazing-!  
> ...  
> aaaaaaand it's gone now.

"All right, all right! I get it! You don't want me playing Off The Wall with my soul, even though it's HILARIOUS."

Somehow you'd managed to get Nightmare and Fresh to play Off The Wall with you in the backyard, with them agreeing either out of sheer boredom or ulterior motives, but the noise had attracted the attention of Ink. In a chain reaction, the static-filled laughter from the colorful skeleton had brought some of the others to the scene, and Fell had taken it upon himself to guard you from your own stupidity by taking your soul and shoving it into his ribcage beyond your reach. As a result, you were having a one-sided argument to get it back, guessing what he was yelling back at you as you formulated your responses.

Arguing without knowing the other side's words is quite difficult. How come they understood you but you couldn't understand them? Totally unfair.

"No Edge, it's my soul! If I wanna shove it up my _rad_ hole and _shiz_ it out again I should be able to do that!"

He stared at you. You stared back at him.

What a meaningful conversation!

"Fiiiiine, you're right. I don't wanna get my soul dirty anyways. Give it back, please."

He smirked. That hoe was gonna make you beg for it! No thank you, sir!

"I wonder how far away I can get from my soul without dying. THE POWERS THAT BE COMMAND ME TO TEST IT OUT, FOR SCIENCE AND SPITE!"

You turned and leapt down the stairs of the back deck, and began sprinting off across the large backyard. Fortunately, you were a fast sprinter, even though your endurance was shit, so you were able to make it to the treeline of the woods back there before the more well-meaning skeletons got the idea to chase after you.

Of course, Nightmare was utterly amused, and doing nothing to help anyone. Beside him, Fresh was just watching with genuine curiosity, perhaps wondering if he could latch onto your soul. His current body would need a break soon...

The well-meaning skeletons chasing you were Ink, Blueberry, Papyrus, and surprisingly Edge. What made you laugh in amusement was the fact that none of them could really teleport- except Ink, but Ink required a water-and-ink-mixed substance to do so- so all of them had to chase you on foot. Unfortunately, you forgot that three of them were Royal Guardsmen familiar with woodsy areas, and you were caught up in the bony arms of Classic Papyrus.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCIENCE, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEEE!?!?"

You were carried back to the house in a loud ruckus, and it was at this moment you were glad that you didn't have any neighbors within a few miles in any direction. Good ol' you with those good ol' hermit tendencies.

"Alas, I give up. I am not physically fit, and while I mildly desire to be, it's much easier to just be lazy and wait until you're literally forced to do something. And no, that wasn't a crack at the Genocide Run. That's how I genuinely live my life. A constant state of denial, denial of the fact that the world is _shiz_ and that the chances of dying alone and miserable are far greater than anything else."

A quiet pause to your rambling was subtly accented by the leaves crackling beneath the footsteps of the skeletons, and then you continued.

"I'd probably be dead or worse right now if it weren't for my little bro and his optimism. And no, that wasn't a crack at your lovely brotherly relationships, even though my bro basically acts like NeXusTale Papyrus. He's so cool. I think he's scheduled to visit sometime this month, I dunno. Time is a weird thing for me out here in the land of denial."

The skeleton deposited you on a bench seat of the back deck, and Edge reached into his ribcage to prepare returning your soul. You're not quite sure what happened next, but after the shuddering sensation of energy pulsing through your being, you spoke in font.

"That was lovely."

Everyone froze. Edge slowly removed your soul, and stared at it curiously, before staring at you.

"I PRESUME YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME NOW, WEIRDO?"

You put a hand to your chest and gasped in mock offense.

"How rude! An insult of that magnitude! I don't know what to say! Actually I do know what to say, and that is yes I do understand you now. Must've been something about what you just did with my soul."

Leaning in to inspect your soul, you took it from the edgy skeleton's gloved phalanges and began turning it this way and that. Holding it close and squinting slightly, you even focused on the crystalline surface as hard as you could... and grinned at what you saw. Within one of the facets was a tiny spark of red energy- perhaps from bumping into his soul, perhaps from being zapped with magic as punishment. Either way, you now spoke and understood the edgy skeleton's font... NICE.

Did it work for anyone else? A few moments of listening to the shocked clamor of static, and you had your answer.

"So I can understand Edge here, but not anyone else. Current hypothesis: if my soul comes into contact with the energy of another soul, then the language barriers are broken. Does that mean I'll never understand Dream or Nightmare or Ink or Fresh? They don't have souls. I'm disappointed with the logistics of my soul. I HEREBY COMMAND YOU TO CHANGE, DANGIT."

You shook your soul like it was a snow globe, and surprisingly, the red spark of energy flew out of it and fizzled away... Looking up to Edge, you tried to understand what he was saying, but there was only static... and your next spoken words were ordinary English.

"Welp. Okay then. My soul is like an etch-a-sketch. That's great. Shake it and everything vanishes. That'd be more useful in the toy aisle of a supermarket than here."

Leaning back in despair, you held out your soul to Fresh, and threw your other arm over your eyes dramatically.

"Try to feed from it if you can, brah. I need some totally radtastic vibes to counteract the absolute weirdness of my soul."

Silence. Then, your soul was pushed back into your chest, and you lifted your forearm to peer at the neon-clad skeleton doing the replacement.

"Well that's surprising. Alrighty then, back to using the Notebook of Communication. Anyone know where that went? I noticed it being passed around a lot and it's probably got a lot of comments on it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all you people who like specific characters present in this fic, now's your chance to shine! In the comments section, you now have the opportunity to roleplay as the skeletons!
> 
> The Notebook of Communication has been written in quite a lot since the last time it was checked. What did the skeletons write in there? It's up to you!


	13. Oh Glorious Skeletons, Tell Me Your Secrets!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *You finally catch up with what those skeletons have been writing in the Notebook of Communication!  
> *You're filled with DEPRESSION.

With as close to a sexy eyebrow wiggle as you could get, you brandished the newly-acquired Notebook of Communication as though it were the most powerful weapon of a classic RPG, and hummed the battle victory music Final Fantasy I & II.

Needless to say, you're a fucking nerd.

"REVEAL TO ME YOUR SECRETS, DARK ONES, YE MEN WHO SPEAK IN HANDS, YE MEN WHO CAME FROM THE OTHER WORLD~"

A Riverperson/Gaster reference combined with Lord of the Rings overtones. Always good to establish your sanity in front of others. Not that it was in question, because CERTAINLY, it wasn't. Not at all, not the teensiest tiniest bit, no way no how. You were clearly sporting a clean bill of health that made you perfectly suitable for regular contact with society.

_*sup. just wanted to say that i'm keeping an eye on you. and you should never expect to be alone with any of us ever. least you'll never be bonely.*_

You winked at Classic Sans, who you felt was the one who wrote this, and got an emotionless stare in response. If you could read his mind, you guessed his thoughts would be fairly amusing, but alas you were only left to guess...

_*HELLO HUMAN, THIS IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS. I WANTED TO INFORM YOU THAT I APPRECIATE YOUR FULL DISCLOSURE ON THE GAME, EVEN IF IT WAS DISTURBING AND YOU WERE ACTING SOMEWHAT CREEPY AT SOME POINTS. HONESTY IS IMPORTANT AND IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD TO DO THAT WHILE MY BROTHER AND THE ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF HIM AND ME WERE BEING NEEDLESSLY THREATENING. I AM GOING TO GIVE THEM A TALKING-TO SO THEY CEASE THOSE ACTIONS.*_

A genuine smile crossed your face as you read this, and with a sudden movement that startled half the Sanses in the room, you darted over to Papyrus and gave him a hug.

"I appreciate your honesty, too! Always tell me when I'm being too creepy for you, and I'll try to stop but probably won't succeed cuz I'm not great at all!"

Surprise permeated the room as Papyrus hugged you back, and you giggled breathlessly at the sheer force of it before going limp in hug war defeat. He released you, and you returned to your seat on the couch, picking up where you left off.

_*hey, science sans here. i was wondering what theories you have on our presence here, and on how we would return to our home timelines.*_

Reaching over with a casual strength, you pulled the scientist skelly next to you and hugged him. Apparently everyone within reach was getting free hugs today. Sci was technically the most vulnerable of all the skeletons present though, what with his powers not being as developed as the others, and for some reason thinking about that made you feel somewhat protective of him... shit.

"Well, I'm about 87% certain that your presence here is dictated by a being of higher existential level than I. I'm just some random peon who plays the game and lurks in the fandom. I have written a few fanfiction stories though, and knowing the quality of fanfiction in general, you're probably gonna be here until something important happens to the plot. Everything seems kinda random right now so I dunno when the plot is actually gonna show up."

He looked at you oddly, and you hugged him tighter, ignoring the looks of the other skeletons because he seemed to be okay with the hugging.

"Well think about it, I exist on a higher level than you do normally because you're all fictional characters in this story. Who's to say I'm not a fictional character in some other being's story too? Possibilities, much like the Multiverse, are infinite."

The scientist was pinned down under your right arm as you turned the page of the notebook and skimmed through a few questions and comments. He sent a glance Red's way as though pleading for help getting out of the situation, and you internally fangirled while keeping a mask of stony masculinity upon your face... The ship would sail, you knew it, and so did a couple other skeletons as they watched Red lift your arm up enough for Sci to escape.

_*THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU A HUG, BUT MY BROTHER SAYS YOU MIGHT BE EVIL. SO I'M GOING TO REFRAIN FROM HUGGING YOU UNTIL YOU PROVE OTHERWISE, AND HERE'S A FRIENDLY REMINDER NOT TO BE A CREEPY MURDEROUS PSYCHO AND KILL US ALL. I'D HATE TO HAVE TO SCRUB YOUR BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR AFTER IT WAS JUST CLEANED BY ME EARLIER. MWEH HEH HEH!*_

...holy fuck. Being threatened by Blueberry was terrifying... and AWESOME! You shuddered reflexively and smiled at the dangerous cinnamon roll, an odd expression of gleeful fear upon your face as you held out a hand.

"Don't worry Blue, I like everyone here better than I like myself! That's not saying much given how much I literally view myself as trash, but hey, you all are several steps above that and even most people in this universe! I promise not to deliberately harm y'all."

You kept your hand out, offering a handshake to seal the deal...

_Bzzzzt~_

A joybuzzer. You fucking pranked him in a serious moment like that. He was surrounded by trolls and pranksters, he knew it.

Your shoulders shook with suppressed laughter as you turned your attention back to the notebook, and read the next entry.

_*YOU ABSOLUTE FREAKING WEIRDO!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'SHIPS' AND WHY ARE YOU WINKING IN A SLIMY MANNER WHENEVER YOU MENTION IT. ESPECIALLY AROUND MY BROTHER AND THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SCIENTIST.*_

Oh, only one person could be this tsundere, and you winked at him in the slimiest manner you could manage... partially covering your lips and mouthing the words 'ships' and 'i ship everyone here' so that only he could see it... The expression of revulsion was worth the slap on the back of the head that resulted from it. You were probably going to obtain some sort of permanent damage by the time this adventure was over.

_*i've got some advice for you. don't touch my bro.*_

Staring directly at Honey, you slowly reached over to Blueberry... and gently pet his skull. Your gaze never left that of the lanky skeleton's, even as you- surprisingly- found a sweet spot that made the Blueberry _purr_... You definitely had a death wish.

Continuing to gently stroke the skull of the embarrassed and relaxed Blueberry, you looked at the notebook again, silently daring the orange-clad skeleton to do something about it.

_*HUMAN, I SEE HOW IT IS. YOU FLIRT WITH EVERYONE. LIKE A SNAKE, YOU MOVE FROM ONE TO THE NEXT, SPREADING YOUR FLIRTY GERMS. EVEN NOW, THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN ENSNARED BY YOUR FAKE AFFECTATIONS. BUT YOU WILL NOT ENSNARE THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, FOR I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. I UNDERSTAND NOW, HUMAN. THE WAY YOU DO THINGS TO INCUR MY WRATH ALMOST AS IF ON PURPOSE. THE WAY YOU INSIST ON COOKING FOR ME. AND WHEN I GALLANTLY RESCUED YOU FROM FALLING, YOU IGNORED HALF THE RULES IN THE DATING GUIDEBOOK AND CUDDLED UP TO ME. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. YOU ARE... HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH ME!! DO NOT FEAR, I SHALL NOT PUNISH YOU FOR GIVING IN TO THESE EMOTIONS. TOO MUCH. BUT DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE RECIPROCATED. BECAUSE IT ISN'T. AT ALL.*_

You halted your display of affections towards Blueberry in order to slap that hand dramatically against your chest, and lean back to gaze upside-down at Edge's eyesockets.

"I thought you liked meeeeee...!"

A fake sniffle was followed by a couple fake tears, and when nothing was done in reaction besides a stare that silently asked if you were done yet, you lifted your head and moved along.

_*This is Ink! I like the drawing in the back of this notebook, though you could probably stand to add a bit of shading and light color contrast to it. Still, it's nice to meet a Creator. Even a weird one.*_

You sent a thumbs up his way, recognizing his backwards compliments as unintentionally mean, and continued.

_*sorry about having nightmare give you that nightmare. it's not as though i don't know how bad they can be, i just didn't know if you could be trusted. that kinda helped me decide whether i did or didn't, and for now, i do. don't fuck up.*_

An arm twitched oddly as you considered hugging Geno, and restrained yourself from doing so. Instead, you gave him a solemn nod and continued reading, beginning to feel your generally happy mood plummet with each further comment from the skeletons.

_*you're actually fuckin' crazy aren't you? not sure if that's hot or just makes you a freak*_

You sent the dryest look you could muster towards the skeleton, and took the liberty of testing Fresh' censor.

"If crazy is waking up one morning and having skeletons suddenly rain down from the ceiling of one's bedroom, and not knowing how to react thus subsequently acting in a manner that prevents one from shutting down, then yes, I'm actually _funk_ in' crazy."

Why weren't the innocent skeletons writing more cheerfully? You needed more optimism. Where was Dream's positivity when you needed it? At least they didn't want to kill you though.

The notebook perusal continued.

_ *WHAT THE BARRIER WERE YOU THINKING! NOT ONLY DO YOU TREAT YOUR SOUL WITH FLAGRANT DISRESPECT- THEREBY FORCING ME TO KEEP IT SAFE FOR YOU, YOU FREAKING IDIOT- BUT THEN, THEN  _ YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF _. WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT JUST TO MAKE ME CHASE YOU?? AND THEN WHEN YOU CAN FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING, YOU IMMEDIATELY UNDO THE EFFECTS BY SHAKING YOUR SOUL AROUND. WHY IN THE STARS DID WE GET STUCK WITH YOU, YOU DANGEROUS, DEAF, LUNATIC.* _

Shrugging, you reached the end of the comments and picked up a nearby pencil, turning to the back of the notebook to the black page beside the current drawing present. As you began to outline a sketch of a skeletal forearm and hand, you responded to the final comment and most of the questions you'd skimmed over in a few rambling sentences.

"Well, when you have such a low self-esteem that the literal only thing keeping you alive is the mask of optimism and deep-seated feelings of existential denial in your soul, then yes certain things are worth it to be chased. Being alone for too long affects the mind strangely, just ask Error and Ink over there. Actually, just Error. Ink doesn't know where he came from yet. I do know why he doesn't have a soul though. Very depressing. Angst and anguish make for good entertainment. Humanity is disgusting. Myself included. I do like to think that I'm not a complete dick though, when I'm not in my depressive moods. Anyways, I'm gonna go into one of those depressive moods now, so excuse me for a while, and don't expect me to make my own food. SHUTDOWN COMMENCE!"

With that, you sunk into the couch cushions and pulled a blanket over your head, wrapping yourself up in a Cocoon of Sadness. Being considerate of those who might still have questions or comments, you left the Notebook of Communication outside the blanket cocoon and kept the misery to a quiet volume so you wouldn't disturb them, turning off the optimistic part of yourself to finally crash and burn and hopefully die in a house fire from neglecting to watch one of the skeletons cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you try to write a Happy chapter but think too deeply and get sad so only Angst comes out.


	14. We're Sorry, Fresh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We need to recover from the angst. Twenty milligrams of fluff, STAT. Proceed with the injection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for this chapter and possibly the next: Recreational Marijuana and Alcohol Usage.  
> Also Known As: You Drug the Skeletons

After a while, you could hear Papyrus chastising the other skeletons from within your blanket cocoon, and the pages of the notebook being turned, and the scratch of pen upon paper. The paper was torn, and a skeletal hand poked it inside the cocoon for you to read, along with a flashlight- when did they find the flashlights?

_*HUMAN, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE HORRID MANNERS OF MY BROTHER AND OUR ALTERNATES. COULD YOU PLEASE COME OUT OF THE BLANKETS SO THEY CAN APOLOGIZE?*_

You took the slip of paper, read what was on it, and carefully tore it into the word 'MEH' instead of simply answering with your voice. Pushing it back out of the single hole, you listened to the disappointed sigh of the tall and innocent skeleton, and waited for him to leave with the others you could hear moving around... but then you felt your blanket cocoon shifted and unraveled partially, and saw Red peering in with an expression of mixed exasperation and amusement.

You did what any other rational cocoon-dweller would do.

 _Hissssss_ ~

The unhappy cat impersonation was a success, if the startled laughter of the edgy skeleton meant anything. As you listened to it, you realized that the situation was too tense for anything to properly be understood. Too many misconceptions and too much room for miscommunication, too many guards up and too much suspicion floating around. This atmosphere was not good for bonding and getting to a point of working together...

There was only one thing that could help.

Unraveling the cocoon and dodging the inaccurate grab of the still-laughing asshole Red, you ran upstairs and retrieved a few... _special items_... from your bedroom. Stuffing them in a duffel bag, you picked it up and began running through the house, collecting all the things necessary for this bonding activity and shoving them into the duffel bag too. 

You were followed by a curious Blueberry as you did so, who looked extremely skeptical at the first items you grabbed, but soon grew more and more excited as you collected more stuff. Finally, when you had stuffed the duffel bag full, you picked up a small speaker to connect your tablet to, and returned to the living room where the other skeletons were waiting.

"WE'RE TOO _DARN_ TENSE WITH EACH OTHER. LUCKILY, I HAVE THE SOLUTION."

You upended the duffel bag and allowed the stash of board games and puzzles to fall out, and after turning it upright again, retrieved the... _special items_... from another pocket of the duffel bag.

"My apologies Fresh, but I'm taking a leaf from the notebook of your Multiversal Opposite... Acid Sans."

Weed. 

Weed everywhere. _Inject the Marijuanas, you beautiful, amazing meme-whore._

You withdrew a large bag of marijuana from the duffel bag- eliciting a few startled laughs from the lazy skeletons and a few looks of judgement from the hyperactive ones- and a beautiful stained glass pipe, setting them on the table and preparing them for use.

"Hey, marijuana is perfectly legal these days. Medicinal purposes. I have it for anxiety. It's perfectly legal. And the pipe is from an old friend who left me behind. Still perfectly legal. I hypothesize that it's the equivalent of the dog treats that Doggo smokes outside his station."

Fresh was looking at you like you'd betrayed him personally. Well, given that he hadn't tried to feed off your soul, you kinda did, but he would forgive you eventually. Probably. Maybe. Fortunately, the Papyrus equivalents had relaxed upon finding out that it was legal, and you refrained from telling them that it was illegal to share prescription drugs with others.

Eh. They probably wouldn't find out.

"SO! We are going to sit down, relax, and get to know each other a bit. If you don't want any weed, there's probably some alcohol in the back of the fridge. If you don't want alcohol, there are other drinks available."

Honey was already lighting up the pipe. Fucking stoner. Headcanon confirmed.

"Follow Honey's lead for consumption of the marijuanas! And what game should we play first?"

Blueberry held up a deck of cards, and your face brightened.

"Sweet! I dunno how to play poker, but BS is a pretty fun game to play with multiple people. Requires at least three players! Who's in?"

To your surprise, whether it was just because of the sound logic of relaxing or because of the weed exhalations Honey was blowing at everyone except Fresh, the majority agreed and sat down to play. There were enough people that you decided to pull out a second deck identical to the first, and shuffled it into the full pile with a mischievous eyebrow wiggle, proceeding to explain the rules.

"Two decks for two planes of existence. Whoever's got the Ace of Spades usually starts, but due to multiple decks, I'll add in one Joker card for the starting card. For those of you who haven't played BS before, the order of cards starts at the Aces and ends at the Kings, and the order of players goes clockwise around the table. Say that Classic Sans had the Joker. He'd place it down, and then Honey- to his left- would place down a number of Aces, and then Blueberry would place down a number of Twos, and so on. When Kings are reached, the order returns to Aces. Now here's the fun part."

You began to evenly distribute the cards, giving everyone eight cards and one random person the Joker, and smirked as you took your cards in hand.

"If you think someone is lying about the card they put down, you can call them out by yelling BS. When you do that, if you called their bluff, all the cards that had been placed down in the pile previously go into their hand. Otherwise, if the cards they played were the cards they said they were, then the pile goes into your hand. The winner of the game is the first person to get rid of all their cards, and because we have so many players, everyone from seventh place onwards are the losers. If we wanna make things interesting, we can make a bet for the losers to do something for the winners..."

A shared glance was passed throughout the group of twelve skeletons and single human, as was the pipe and some various alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. You took a cherry soda as your beverage, preferring to leave the alcohol to others, and leaned forward with wiggling eyebrows in preparation for the game.

"So, since there are no questions... who's got the Joker?"


	15. The Aftermath is Tallied Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party ends, and a new day begins. You now have a secret.

"Dudes... skelebaes... my fine bro-tato chips... have you ever realized..."

You trailed off, and remained quiet for a long time as thoughts about life and entropy sailed through your mind like a raft upon calm waters...

Then you sneezed, and remembered what you were saying.

"Have you ever realized... nothing is a paradox?"

A few grunts of interest were your answer, and you took them as a sign to continue.

"Nothing is nothing... sheer absence... void... yet by being nothing, it is being something... Nothing is something because it can be defined as nothing... and nothing is something and nothing... y'know?"

Scanning the room, you took in the leftover scene from the day. Board games and cards were scattered across the room, and half of the skeletons were passed out. The other half were somewhere between the sky and stone cold sober- Fresh being the only one who was stone cold sober and looking very disappointed with everyone else in the room- and were paying attention to each other and you with varying levels of focus.

Sitting up, you twitched slightly as a shiver rolled down your spine, and abruptly sneezed again before reaching over to hover your hand over the shoulder of Error.

"Oh ye haphephobic glitchlord, shall I explain how nothing is something?"

He didn't respond immediately, having been in the process of draining the last bottle of booze within reach, but eventually nodded when finished. A light touch to his fluffy jacket was made, and you smiled when he didn't recoil... perhaps drunkenness removed his fear of being touched? A beautiful theory to be further tested.

"I exist. That is how nothing is something."

Somebody took offense to that, sitting up with a blanket concealing their body and pointing at you, muttering something beneath the static of their font. You tilted your head to the side in attempt to understand, and accidentally-on-purpose fell over into Error's lap, but simply hugged him when he didn't really react.

"I'm gonna hug the _funk_ out of all of you poor babies. You hear me, skeletons? I'm gonna hug ALL of you until you can't feel sad feelings anymore!"

Perhaps you'd had a little too much. Or maybe you were perfectly aware of what you were doing and were using the skeletons' handicaps to your advantage. Nobody knew but you and Fresh, and he sure wasn't about to tell anybody.

After firmly hugging Error and getting an odd sort of pat on the arm, you brought yourself up to a standing position, and began to collect the various skeletons together on the large couch. It took some fine motor skills and spatial reasoning, but eventually you were able to line up the six sleeping skeletons across the bottom layer and add the other six awake skeletons- not including Fresh- on top of them. They were all surprisingly light, but you kind of expected that, what with their being made of magic, and solid light particles according to some fanfiction you'd read.

"Let's gather 'round the skeletons, and sing our skeleton song~"

You parodied like a boss, joining and snuggling into the pile of inebriated and passed out skeletons upon the couch, and wrapped your arms around as many bony limbs as you could reach.

"Our S-K-E-L-E-T-O-N S-O-N-G song..."

A yawn escaped your lips, and with it came a burst of exhaustion from the unexpected day of partying. Slowly, as you hugged the skeletons into their own oblivious sleeps, your eyes slid shut, and you began the descent into a nap of your own...

The last thing your eyes registered as they closed was your crystalline soul sliding loose from your chest, and glowing brightly in the darkness...

* * *

"what the fuck. get off of me dammit, why are all of you on top of me?"

You became aware of voices in the distance, but didn't react. That had been a good dream, and you wanted to get back to it.

"THE HUMAN SEEMS TO BE WAKING UP! HAS EVERYONE WRITTEN NICE STUFF IN THE NOTEBOOK THIS TIME, AND NOT THE APPALLING MESSAGES THAT MADE THEM UPSET YESTERDAY?"

Papyrus, shhhhhhhhh... just shhhhhhh... he was adorable, but his volume wasn't good for getting back to your dreams.

"heh, i dunno bro. why don't you try to get the human off of us so we can check again?"

You grumbled quietly and squeezed the pillow in your arms, pressing your face into its hard surface.

Wait, hard? Pillows weren't hard.

"THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY IS ACTUALLY QUITE COMFORTABLE LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHY."

Were you hearing their voices? Oh no, were you still dreaming after all?

"I SWEAR IF THIS FILTH ISN'T REMOVED FROM MY PERSON IN TEN SECONDS, ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE THROWN ALONG WITH IT!"

A low chuckle and the feeling of something poking your stomach had you curling up slightly in defense of the kinda-painful ticklish spot, and whining quietly.

"uh, maybe we should wake up the human before edge throws us all across the room..."

A sudden scream sounding directly in your ear had you jumping off the pile of skeletons like a cat dunked in water, and you stumbled over the table to the opposite side, landing on your back with your feet still facing the couch. Everything fell silent except for the sounds of skeletons laughing and untangling themselves, until you released a low, drawn out groan of pain at being woken up.

"Ggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... kill me... I was having the best dreaaaaam... Philosophy, with drugs, and the many ships captained by Doctor Gaster... it was beautiful..."

You were abruptly hoisted up to your feet, and your eyes shot open just in time to see Geno getting up close and personal with a displeased expression on his skull.

"Oh _funk_ , did something happen? You look unhappy. Then again you always look unhappy... I wanna hug you now. Can I hug you?"

It seemed the skeletons were unaware that you could understand them, as Geno simply stared at you and nodded silently, and the others conversed quietly amongst themselves as you leaned in to hug the perpetually dying Geno...

WAIT, YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THEM?

No, don't react. This was your chance to hear what they truly thought about this situation without any censorship! You could find out what they truly thought of the situation without them holding anything back! It was the perfect opportunity to figure out how to help them properly, and try to get yourself to stop acting so weird around them.

Eh, the last thing wasn't likely. But you could still help them!

"Alright, so yesterday was fun. Hopefully now with the power of Friendship and Acidtale's reason for existence, we can find out how to get you guys home! First thing's first- the Notebook of Communication! And afterwards, the machine!"

You released Geno from the Hug of Comfort- yes, you named that type of hug just this very instant- and began to search the room for the notebook. This was a difficult task, particularly with all the games and cards still scattered about- you found yourself instinctively organizing the mess as you went. Not cleaning it up, just organizing it so it could be cleaned up properly later... good job, you.

"so... who's still asleep?"

You listened, humming a quiet melody to yourself to make it seem as though you still couldn't understand them. The organization was turning into actually picking up the mess- sheesh, you weren't normally this proactive. Were the Papyrus equivalents rubbing off on you? The sudden acquisition of a trash bag in your hand implied yes.

"seems like it's ink, error, dream, nightmare, and sci. fresh was awake before i was. who else was awake before me?"

Ah, Classic Sans. He was really good at keeping the peace. Did he get pulled from an Alpha Timeline that was already aware of AU's?

"THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EDGE WAS AWAKE FIRST, AND THEN IT WAS GENO. ASK HIM THE REST OF THE ORDER IF YOU WISH, I NEED TO GET THIS DISGUSTING DROOL STAIN OUT OF MY ARMOR."

You sidestepped Edge as he stalked by towards the bathroom, moving your hand to pick up the last bottle of alcohol and place it in the trash bag. Perhaps you were a little too quiet, because Blueberry was suddenly beside you with a concerned expression upon his face, and you were unexpectedly hugged.

Well, you weren't complaining. Hugs were awesome!

"Haha, thanks for the hug, Blueberry. I guess I'm still a bit tired."

With that sentence, you unknowingly sealed your fate, and were swept up in a hold quickly enough that you dropped the trash bag in your left hand in surprise. Instinctively grabbing the collar of the Blueberry's armor for balance, you got a disapproving stare from Honey, and made an odd noise in the back of your throat as you were carried over to the beanbag chair and laid out in it.

"I really don't need more sleep, as much as I'd like to, there's too much stuff to be done-"

A gloved hand silenced your protests, and you gave up, going limp and closing your eyes.

"Alright then, do what you will. The human has been captured and sentenced to sleep until they are..."

You opened a single eye.

"... _deep-rest_."

The resulting groans put a smile on your face, and along with the events of yesterday, made the Sanses present begin to think that maybe you weren't such a bad person after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to try using a work skin. Do you guys like it? =D


	16. Pranking and Ranting and Fear, Oh My

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets, secrets, are no fun...

Papyrus, Edge, and Blueberry had left for the kitchen, leaving you alone with the perceptive Sans equivalents and the skeletons that were still asleep from the party.

This... was a bad combination.

"Sans... Geno... if you have any respect for your sleeping younger self, you might want to stop me."

You were already standing, heading towards the kitchen and quickly snagging a can of whipped cream before being thrown back out. To your pleasant surprise, the Classic and Aftertale skeletons were merely watching curiously, without the suspicion they'd had over the previous days... The friendship bonding experience had been a success!

"should we stop them?"

The expression on your face was absolute mischief as you began sneaking towards the couch of sleeping skeletons in an exaggerated fashion, completely disregarding the need for actual plot.

"i dunno, i'm kinda interested in seeing if the prank will fail or not. teenage us might fall for it."

Ah yes, you were a cruel, cruel being for preying upon the weakest of the bunch. That thought did nothing to stop you from carefully turning Sci onto his back, ACTing with the greatest stealth skills you could muster from all of your gaming experience. The successful extraction of the skeleton's bony hand from beneath his middle was a great surprise, considering that your stealth strategy in games like Dishonored generally followed the idea that 'nobody would notice if there's nobody to notice'.

"Hehehe... I almost feel guilty about this, especially after pranking everyone last night... y'know, trapping all of you in a glorious cuddle hold while you were half asleep. Except Fresh. Everyone let their guards down except Fresh. He was the last one awake."

You whispered this, not wanting to risk waking up the sleeping scientist mere inches from your face as you sprayed a nice dollop of whipped cream on the palm of his hand. Quietly giving yourself a mouthful of whipped cream afterwards and setting the can on the table, you moved around the side of the couch and slowly reached towards Sci's skull... A moment was taken to make sure everyone saw your deliciously evil expression, and then, you began lightly tickling the bone above his nosehole with one finger.

"wow. they're really going for it."

The sleeping scientist stirred a little, and you paused for a moment before adding another finger to the light tickling.

"heh, dumb nerd is gonna have a fun wake up call."

You barely resisted telling Red not to speak of his future husband that way, but managed to distract yourself by poking Sci's skull just a tiny bit harder... and jumping backwards as the sleeping skeleton's hand smacked into his face, covering it in whipped cream.

His bone lids snapped open as he sputtered in surprise, and the room was silent for a moment before everyone awake burst out laughing. The poor skeleton looked around in utter confusion and disbelief, wiping his face off and examining the whipped cream on his hands, before getting an expression of amusement at the prank.

"oh man, i fell so hard for that. so who did it? edge, was it you?"

Your eyes lit up with glee as you leaned in from behind the youngest Sans present, and wrapped your arms around his torso to pick him up.

"A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, my friends, and being asleep in a room full of pranksters makes you the weakest link! Also, I know what your abilities are at this moment in your timeline, because of the machine you arrived in. You are, indeed, the weakest link. Physically, or magically- however you wish to refer to your stats."

Sci appeared uncomfortable at being assessed like this, and you proceeded to carry him to the bathroom as though he were a particularly large child, leaving the other skeletons behind to continue laughing. It was only when the bathroom door shut that he realized how quickly you'd gotten him alone, and only at that point did he begin to question some very questionable things, as you grabbed a washcloth to clean him off.

"Don't worry, your vulnerability really calls out to my protective instincts. While monsters have more strength, humans have more endurance. Monsters have magic, humans have technology. The balance is really quite fascinating."

Aimless rambling was just part of your usual personality, but perhaps it was this normalcy that calmed Sci from his nervousness of being alone with you. Perhaps, that was why he tried talking to you when he thought you still couldn't understand him.

"uh... sorry about how you got damaged the past couple days. we're usually not so violent, at least, most of us aren't. are you still injured?"

Well, how could you ignore such sincerity as that? You did continue pretending as though you couldn't understand him though, by speaking on from your own previous topic.

"Magic and technology together are fascinating things, although in this universe, they'll never get the chance to mix like they do in yours. Monsters don't exist here, and believe me, I've looked. No Mount Ebott here. Sadly, that means we're deprived of glorious, delicious, healing monster food. I think just that one bite of Fell's lasagna the other day healed me more than I was injured. That reminds me- I didn't eat at all yesterday except for the questionable party substances and some cereal. Makes me look forward to what Blueberry, Edge, and Papyrus are cooking up right now."

There, that answered his question in an incredibly roundabout way, and hopefully removed you from any suspicion. Hey, you finally got to use those skills for ignoring cruel comments that you'd learned at school and work for something actually interesting! Maybe you should see how long you could pretend ignorance to what they were saying... that'd be a hard test of keeping yourself from slipping up.

"you're really something special, huh? i never thought i'd meet a human, let alone a human from another dimension with such a strange soul. it's not even heart shaped, and that crystal barrier around it is almost like armor. is that just how human souls are here?"

You finished cleaning off the whipped cream, and instead of releasing the scientist, simply moved him around onto your back as though he were a young kitten in need of guidance from its mother.

Yes, you did that. You were a cat. Rawr.

Humming as you skillfully opened the bathroom door with your foot- hands occupied by directly supporting Sci's femurs- you exited the room and returned to the living room, smiling in amusement and happiness. You couldn't help but be pleased at the acceptance Sci exhibited, allowing you to cart him around like this.

"You're all slowly getting used to my presence and strange personality... good. That means we can move along to important stuff, like modifying the machine Sci arrived in. I know the basics of how it is modified due to my own stories affecting your universes, although it might not work the same way due to your apparent inability to access the Void- that tidbit of information unintentionally revealed by Classic Sans earlier, in case anyone had forgotten. And no, I am not going to be releasing Sci until he is either forcibly removed or I get tired. I like to take care of my victims after pranking them- I call it aftercare."

The immediate urge to duck welled up within you, and listening to it the same way you had the other day, you narrowly avoided a smack to the back of the head from Edge.

"DEAR ASGORE HOW MUCH MORE DISGUSTING CAN YOU GET? HONESTLY, YOUR LEWD COMMENTS ARE ALMOST AS BAD AS MY BROTHER'S!"

You really liked your reflexes. They weren't nearly as good as a Sans equivalent's, but they worked well enough, because if that smack had been successful... Well, you were beginning to get fed up with being attacked. No matter how much you liked to lie down and take it, you would only take so much before getting up and fighting back.

"Evidence of why a Papyrus equivalent is to be feared right there- they sneak up on you very efficiently. Honestly, Papyrus is the most terrifying monster in the entire Underground. He's really- HEY, don't laugh at me!"

The awake Sanses had begun looking at you in a mixture of disbelief and amusement, and more than one had burst out laughing. Did they really not know how insanely powerful their brothers were? They were nuts.

"No, no, listen for a few minutes! Papyrus is the only monster that you can't die to in the game. No matter what, if you reach 1 HP, the battle ends and he puts you in the shed. Not even Toriel can stop herself from killing you- granted, it's very difficult to die during her _tu-toriel_ boss battle, but it's still possible. That just goes to show what iron control Papyrus has over his magic! Then, we know that he has soul effect magic! Changing the state of a soul from red to blue is some serious magic, only demonstrated by him during Pacifist and Neutral Runs, and by Sans equivalents during the Genocide battle!"

You were in a passionate rant now, pacing back and forth with Sci still being held on your back. Fortunately, he seemed more interested in what you had to say than being removed from your person, remaining in place as you took a moment to breathe.

"Speaking of Genocide, if you abort a Genocide Run on his battle and go on the hangout-slash-date with him, you get the opportunity to examine his box of attacks. This is the moment he reveals that he has access to the Gaster Blasters! Sure, he doesn't use them on the human because the Annoying Dog steals them, but he has them! Just like you! Firing blasts of spontaneously manifested energy is ridiculous in terms of power, and Undyne mentions how powerful he is in a phone call, so we _know_ that Papyrus has the strength to back up the control."

As you paced and ranted, the skeletons that were still asleep were woken up by your practically-yelling speech, and the other skeletons throughout the house were drawn by the commotion. It was an interesting thing- to see the ever-so-innocent Papyrus peering into the room with a sly twinkle to his eyesockets, before entering with the air of total innocence and harmless nature. Sneaking up behind you to hold you in place for a moment, the tall skeleton leaned in to whisper at a low volume you didn't even know he could reach, and revealed that he knew you could understand them in one sentence.

"While I appreciate your commendable dedication to defending my name, I would like to keep a few secrets, and I'm certain you would as well..."

He disguised his whispering as checking the temperature of your forehead with his gloved hand, and kept your cover as well as his own by doing so... Then he leaned back, and mustered a look of deep concern upon his skull as he spoke to the others.

"BROTHER, I BELIEVE THE HUMAN IS RUNNING ILL. THEIR FACE IS INCREDIBLY FLUSHED AND THEIR FOREHEAD IS AN ODDLY WARM TEMPERATURE. BREAKFAST IS IMMEDIATELY NECESSARY!"

...the innocent skelebun roll was not as innocent as he seemed, maneuvering you out of your rant and into the dining room, cleverly ending the previous conversation. You were glad that Sci hadn't been removed, as you now had the urge to cuddle with someone who didn't scare the soul out of you. Yep. Papyrus was true fear.


	17. Self-Sacrifice Is Bad For Your Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can understand the skeletons? That's awesome!   
> You can heavily lean upon and break the fourth wall? Pretty darn swell!   
> You can perform impulsive acts of self-sacrifice? Let's hope it doesn't kill you!

Well, breakfast had certainly been interesting.

You also now had a problem.

"huh. how long have you been able to understand us?"

Sci was interrogating you in a way that he _thought_ was subtle, but was instead totally noticed by everyone. Oh well, at least they couldn't exactly tell what he was doing.

"Since waking up this morning. I wanted to make sure it would stick before getting anyone's hopes up. For example, Blueberry. He'd be crushed if I suddenly stopped being able to understand him in the middle of a conversation."

...that was only a half-lie. You'd thought it up on the spot, but it was true enough once you thought about it. Thinking up things on the fly was something you were good at, as was phrasing things so you were being fully honest while not exactly telling the other what they wanted to hear. Sometimes this made you seem as though you were lying, but hey, that's what your poker face was for. As you'd put it to Honey- it's hard to tell when people are lying if they look like they're always lying.

Sci shifted in place a little, still being carried somewhat awkwardly on your back, and you decided that it was time to let him down. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to resist making a pun about feeling your Sans crawling on your back... Puns were an amusingly horrible type of humor.

"so what if i were to tell the others that you can understand them now?"

Ah. Now it made sense. He was trying to see if he could blackmail you.

"Go right ahead. Papyrus already knows, so that means most of the Papyrus Equivalents are either in the know as well or on the right track. If anyone sees an advantage in telling, then they will. It's as simple as that. The world is a manipulative place, and I've become accustomed to it as much as I could. That's why I live alone, living the hermit life!"

You smiled brightly, depositing the scientist onto the beanbag chair and searching for something else to do... Aha! You hadn't checked on the stories you were following for a few days now! Certainly there were some updates-

No, wait. You had to help the skeletons get home first. Bad procrastinator, bad. Go do something useful for a change, like check the machine or make sure you have enough food to keep feeding this veritable army.

Oh, and you might as well just tell everyone that you could understand them now.

"ATTENTION VERTE-BROS, I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU NOW! PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE WAY MY SOUL POPPED OUT OF MY CHEST LAST NIGHT DURING THE SNOOZE PILE, SO MAYBE CHECK FOR SOUL BONDS OR SOMETHING, I DUNNO."

The first reaction to the news was an odd expression on Sci's skull as he observed you, closely followed by a tackle-hug from Blueberry.

"MWEH! YOU CAN UNDERSTAND US NOW!? THAT'S MAGNIFICENT!"

You smirked slightly from your new position on the floor, waggling your eyebrows at Honey when he came into the room to see his bro on top of you.

"I know, but it's not as magnificent as you, sweet Blueberry. You're still the tastiest morsel here."

It was obvious that Honey had heard that by the way he immediately changed direction and removed his bro from your person, and you restrained your giggles at the glare he was sending your way... He was probably the most dangerous skeleton here, what with his perceptive Papyrus nature and his lack of restraint from the Sans equivalent experience, but you believed his morals were enough to keep from attacking you unprovoked.

Unlike the Sanses, that is. _We're looking at you, Error_.

"Anyways, now with that settled, productivity can begin! I'm sure all of you skeletons wanna go back to the familiar places and predictable people of your home universes, so let's take a look at that machine! It's not in my room anymore, so I'm gonna guess that it was moved to the basement, and that maybe a torture room of some sort was also built. Who knows? I've seen weirder things from the Undertale fandom."

With that minorly disturbing statement, you turned and made your way into the hallway and through the door that led to the basement, humming along to the music coming from the tablet in your pocket. At some point it must've switched playlists, because a song was playing that wasn't in your Undertale themed playlist... Nothing like music to get things going, and it seemed that Fresh agreed, if the slight head bobbing he was doing told you anything. Wait, Fresh liked the same music you did?

... _nice_.

Humming along to the lyrics, you made your way into the basement and sauntered forth into the room with the machine. The can of whipped cream from the earlier prank was applied for a mouthful of sugary delight as you took in the sight of the mostly fixed machine- those skeletons really worked fast- and inspected the remaining broken parts for anything you could help with.

"so kiddo, what're you planning on doing with our ticket home there?"

You paused your humming at the sound of Honey's question, noticing that none of the nerdy skeletons present had decided to prevent you from messing around with the machine, and absentmindedly wondered if they'd already tried to get home on their own at some point and failed... then formulated a response, as you began poking around some of the exposed wiring without any proper equipment whatsoever.

"Well, I've noticed that skeletons generally don't sleep much. That, along with the immense desire to get out of this weird universe with this freak housing you, leads me to deduce that you've all been working on the machine in some manner while said freak wasn't paying attention. By now, the machine is probably ready for me to start messing around with it. Plot, fate, whatever you want to call it. Things will happen when they're supposed to happen. Hence, if I swap this wire with this wire..."

You pulled a red wire and a green wire from their places, and instead of attaching them where they probably belonged, switched them. This was observed by an extremely skeptical Classic Sans and a minorly concerned Honey, as the wires you had just crossed were most definitely not supposed to be handled with bare hands and also not supposed to be crossed like that... 

Sans called bullshit, reaching over to return the wires back to their rightful places. In doing so, he knocked loose a third wire, and its original connection point was lost... now that was just great.

"welp, now this wire is loose. what do you have to say about that?"

You gently nudged Sans over to the side, and holding the loose wire in your hand, scanned the panel for possible connection spots... The cable could only connect in five spots, and you chose a spot it hadn't been in before, connecting it above the red wire.

"It could be considered a total coincidence, but I say that the third wire was in the wrong spot before, and that it would've been discovered at a later time if I hadn't messed with the first two wires now."

...he didn't look convinced. What kind of logic was that?

"If you can think of it, it exists. Isn't that what the Multiverse is all about? There's a universe where you smoke weed everyday. There's a universe where you're a god. There's a universe where everyone is Undyne. It can be thought of, and thus, it exists, no matter how ridiculous it sounds."

An audience had formed, and of them, only three truly understood what you were saying- Ink, Nightmare, and Error. The other two multiversal skeletons weren't in the room.

"Ah- Ink, my rainbow skeleton, one of the first AU skeletons I ever heard of- you understand what I'm saying, right?"

He tilted his head slightly and nodded, before bringing up a very good point.

"That is true, but how do you know that the possibility you're implying exists in this timeline and not another?"

The cheerful smile upon your face as you replied definitely lost some credibility points with the skeletons present.

"I don't!"

That was a lovely response.

The facepalm of the glitch master proved it as such.

"Of course, what are the chances that your journey would end now, in some weird universe where nobody knows you actually exist, which would cause your own Multiverse to probably come to a chaotic end as the code tries to recreate its lost data and fails miserably? That doesn't make for a good ending unless there's been enough build-up, and trust me, your little journeys here hasn't gotten nearly enough build-up. There are still too many loose ends."

Nightmare seemed to be done with your shit, and it seemed Ink silently agreed. The former left the room to go upstairs and complain, and the latter was smiling in a way that implied he was indulging in a child's fantasies or a crazy person's hallucinations... heh.

"Here are a few examples. What were those scraping noises and distant crying that I heard a couple days ago? What soul stuff made it possible for me to understand you overnight? Why isn't the Void able to be connected with when you try to do so on your own? How come the machine came with Sci instead of only Sci himself? Why hasn't Geno turned to dust yet when he still apparently has that wound and isn't in a timeless place? Too many loose ends. No good story has so many loose ends that remain untied for long. They haven't been tied yet, and thus, your journey isn't over yet. It's that simple."

This logic was leaning too much upon the fourth wall. Chill fam, chill with the crazy talk. Error, tell the reader to chill.

"u̵͠g̶̡̡͞h̡̧͜..̶͞҉.̡̢͝͞ th̢҉i̴͟s̨̨͜ ͡͏̵͟i̕͜s̨̛̛̕ ͏̸͢͠͡s͠͡͞ơ͡͏͡ ̛͟҉̸s͝t͟͜͡u̸̕̕͢p̴̨̡͡i̸̵d.̷"

You shrugged, and turned back to the machine, dismissing the former topic of conversation in favor of switching a few wires in deliberate action. It seemed random to those watching, but you'd actually spent some time taking apart electronics and putting them back together during your childhood, so you actually _did_ have the knowledge to do so... you just liked spouting out random theories while doing so and seeing the reactions of those listening, hehehe.

"Once more unto the brink, dear friends, once more!"

You gestured for one of the skeletons to enter the machine with a dramatic bow and a flourish, smiling wide at what you'd done. Of course, none of them entered it, so you sighed and entered a few commands into the control panel, before walking into the machine yourself and taking hold of the door.

"Nobody touch the panel until I tell you to, no matter what. If all goes well, I'll be back in an hour or so. Now back to our previously scheduled program, FOR SCIENCE!"

With that final call, you gently slammed the door closed, and the machine began to hum. You didn't want to risk any of the skeletons being lost to the Void, but you were fairly certain that you wouldn't die due to your previously spoken logic about loose ends, so you were the test subject! Hopefully this wouldn't end badly. 

The steady pattern of flashing lights within the machine made you fairly certain things were working properly, and you peered out the small window towards the skeletons still outside. They had varying expressions of panic and concern- _was Error actually concerned? hot damn_ \- upon their faces, but they didn't dare touch the panel, not when you gave Sans a stink eye through the window for trying it... yeah, you'd be just fine. 

Hopefully.

...

The lights flashed in sync as the machine finished booting up, and suddenly, everything was gone.


	18. Fell From Above Into A Red Genocide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red has some thoughts about the human, and Geno has some worries about the situation.

What the stupid ass hell was that human thinking!?

Seriously, did they have a death wish or something!?

First they're seemingly unphased by the presence of magical skeletons in their house. Then they don't react properly to the _very real threat_ that all said skeletons posed to them. And then, THEN, they go ahead and put themself in even more dangerous situations, on purpose!

Red sincerely doubted that the actions of the human were a result of stupidity. Sure, they seemed to be about as painfully optimistic as the little blue freak that was Blueberry, but the few sane actions he'd witnessed told him that they knew what they were dealing with. Those sane actions, along with all the knowledge they seemed to possess on the universes of the skeletons, gave him the idea that they weren't as crazy as they seemed.

But if they weren't crazy, why would they act so recklessly? Antagonizing his brother was one of the best ways to get dusted, and they surely knew this with everything else they knew, but still they acted so _stupid_. It was really, really pissing him off!

On top of that, despite somehow making his bro see their idiocy enough to take pity on them, they continued to be reckless. They just stomped down into the basement and started screwing around with the machine he and some of the other Sans-es had been working on, switching wires and pressing a slew of random buttons like they knew what they were doing, when their words clearly indicated that they didn't! Of course, what else should he have expected from a human that would play fucking Off The Wall with their own soul? It shouldn't have been any surprise that they'd climb into the machine without any proper shit, for a test that was even more improper.

Ugh, fucking idiot.

"...welp. looks like we've got an hour to waste. i think i'm gonna nap. how about you, edge?"

The short skeleton of black and red and yellow glared at the Classic him, turning to the nearest wall and bringing back a sneakered foot to kick a few holes through it.

"stupid- shitty ass- fucking- dumbfuck- idiot! do you honestly think i can nap at a time like this!?"

Sans just looked at him kicking the wall in, before shrugging and heading up the basement stair to the other skeletons waiting above. Nightmare had left to tell the others about what the human had done- probably to feed off of their negative emotions in some weird fuckass way- before the Classic Sans had decided to nap. Now Red was left alone with Sci, Honey, Ink, and Error... and fortunately for him they seemed to be in various states of distress as well.

"it seems like you're starting to care about that human in some way."

A thick wrench was thrown at the tallest skeleton in the room, and he dodged to the side with the lazy talent of a Sans Equivalent.

"shut tha fuck up, that suicidal maniac!? only reason i haven't dusted them yet is cuz of the boss and the fact that we don't know jack shit about this world!"

Red didn't care. Not one fuckin' bit. He couldn't afford to become attached to such a stupid creature, not when they were so unbelievably impulsive! Maybe if they showed that they cared more... ugh, he needed some mustard. Where the fuck was the pantry in this place?

"guys, we need to get readings from the machine while it's in use. while some of us are doing that, others can look up information about this world, just in case the worst happens and they don't come back..."

Great, the teenage version of him had to take charge.

...not bad.

"Right, I actually looked through the house yesterday and found some stuff out. Like they said, they're a Creator to our world. I looked through their tablet and saw some websites the browser was open to. They also have an entire room dedicated to art!"

Of course that artist would focus on the stupid details. Like he _wanted_ to know that this human had dictated his life in some way, ugh. They didn't seem the type to be... well, like _Ass_ gore. Crazy actions aside, they didn't seem like they intended any of the skeletons actual harm.

Fuck, he was going soft. Stars dammit Boss, why didn't he just get to kill the human after the second day!? It was probably the way they liked his bro's cooking, the pansy ass way they hadn't raised a hand to try and harm any of them, their lack of uppercase LOVE... ugh.

"whatever. i'm gonna look for some mustard, and if there isn't any before the human is back, i'm gonna go rob a fucking store for it."

With that, Red stomped upstairs, and was promptly apprehended by his brother to explain what had happened in the basement... Just great.

* * *

Geno was very observant. 

If there was any one trait to which he could lay a claim of absolute truth, it was that. He'd spent practically an eternity in the Save Screen Void and observed hundreds of timelines gone by, both genocidal and pacifist. The differing details of each timeline were burned into his nonexistent brain, the little quirks of expression that could exist on the faces of everyone within each one, every little thing that was _different_... even upon himself.

Next to Honey, he was probably the best Judge here.

Yet this human still managed to confuse him.

Was it because they were a human different to Frisk or Chara? Maybe because they were from a different world, the basics of emotions were different? It was also possible that they could just be special in that regard, as they'd certainly displayed a few emotions he was well familiar with, and a few that he wasn't.

They seemed... lonely, but hesitant.

As though they were trying to push the group of skeletons away, but couldn't stop themself from getting closer. The nightmare that he'd gotten Nightmare to encourage into existence revealed that they weren't certain whether the skeletons were really there or not, and yet also revealed that they cared about the skeletons present. Maybe that was why they pushed away... they _wanted_ it to be real, but it seemed too good to be true, so they were trying to prevent future damage in case it turned out to be a disappointment.

Such behavior was familiar to Geno. He could understand why they acted the way they did; now he just had to find out what the others thought. Edge would be a good candidate for this- he'd seemed to get the closest to them thus far. The Classic and Science versions of himself would also be good candidates due to similar thought processes. Honey might have insight he'd missed. The five Multiverse travelers would probably have more experience with humans, and thus would understand their behavior on a deeper level... So who should he talk to?

"ayyy wassup my eternally-dyin' broski?"

Oh. Hello Fresh.

"...heya fresh."

The neon skeleton was wheeling backwards in front of Geno, colorful heelies being put to full radtastic use. Above a wide and somewhat droopy grin, black rectangular shades had their usual blue and yellow 'YO-LO' text, and the parasite-infected skeleton looked a little worse for wear...

"yo i'm sorry to impose all un-radically and such, but my host needs a break before they uh, totally die. know a cool somebody who could help a broseph out?"

...Well, it was a good thing that the skeletons had taken the time to get to know each other while the human was asleep those first few nights. He could say that Fresh was _probably_ harmless in this overall situation, despite the inherent lack of emotions that the parasite displayed...

"...my soul is damaged, so i can't help you with that. maybe ask classic, or wait until the human gets back and ask them."

Fresh nodded thoughtfully and aimed some cheerful fingerguns Geno's way, before zooming off into an adjacent room with a wide grin, leaving the perpetually dying skeleton alone once more.

Taking hold of the red scarf around his neck- one of the few things on his body that had a color other than white- Geno began to think deeper about the situation. Staying here for a prolonged amount of time wouldn't be healthy for them, especially with this universe's seeming total lack of magic. As such, the magic that the skeletons had was limited- they wouldn't be able to regenerate it faster than they'd lose it, and that'd cause them to eventually Fall Down. Transforming human food into monster food would delay that, as there was enough energy within the ingredients themselves to have some of it become magic energy, but even that was only a delay tactic.

Then, there were other problems. Fresh was a prime example- the parasite needed a new body every few days, and it'd already _been_ a few days. Even Geno himself wasn't supposed to be outside the Save Screen for more than a few seconds- his unhealing wound was a permanent drain upon his 1 HP, and by all rights and reasonings he should've been dust by now. There was also the matter of the humans of this universe- monsters didn't exist here, so surely he and the others would be tested and experimented upon quite thoroughly if they were discovered. The longer they spent here, the greater chance they had of being found out...

Ugh, enough of this. Stop worrying about the problems and start looking for a solution. There had to be some way to amplify the magic stores they all had to make it last longer, at least until they found a successful way home. Maybe even plan for long term, like a smaller model of the CORE of something. The CORE of his universe transformed geothermal energy into electrical and magical energy, and if he got Sci onto the idea, they could probably get a small model in a month or so.

Heh. Assuming they lived that long.

"UM, EVERYONE? CLASSIC PAPYRUS CALLING ALL SKELETONS TO THE BASEMENT. THIS IS VERY WEIRD AND I'M NOT ENTIRELY CERTAIN HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS. ALSO, SOMEBODY BRING A LOT OF TOWELS."

...what?

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Geno realized that he'd been standing and moving and thinking within this room for a couple hours now, since waking up. Sheesh, no wonder the others left him alone. He probably looked like he needed a bit more time to adjust to the situation, finally sort through the thoughts bouncing around his skull...

A slight smile of appreciation curved over the perpetually-dying skeleton's teeth, and he grabbed some towels from the human's hallway closet on the way to the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >w> get ready for a surprise.


	19. A New Arrival Has Joined the Party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Producing slime. It's just what brothers do. Even if they belong to alternate universes.

You lay face-first upon the floor, covered in an odd slime that seemed faintly phosphorescent. Behind you, looking pleased with himself, was a rather large and wild-looking skeletal creature... Clearly, it was another Sans, but what universe was this one from? The horns upon his skull and massive size were intimidating, but the intelligent and almost tame behavior he exhibited made him seem almost like an oversized cat in clothing...

"Welp... that was not expected... yet surprisingly pleasant. Perhaps it's a subconscious psychological thing, the way some people enjoy small, dark, and warm places because they're supposedly reminded of their first so many months of existence... The taste is just weird though."

If one looked in the corner of the room, they would see an absolutely horrified Sci clutching a clipboard to his ribcage, his eyelights completely missing from his sockets. He had been the only one present to witness the gigantic feral version of Sans spitting out their human host like a cat bringing their owner a dead bird or mouse, and while being something new to the scientist, it was not a very pleasant sight to behold. 

Fortunately Papyrus had been spared the sight of such a thing. He'd actually walked down the stairs at the very last moment, only seeing some remnants of odd blue slime dribbling down the feral creature's skeletal jaw towards the floor, after which he had promptly noped out of the basement to summon the others and some towels. This alternate version of his brother was weird... sharing his slime with the human... Of course, it wasn't odd that he made it, just that he shared it.

Producing slime. That's just what brothers do.

Bringing yourself up to a standing position, the size difference between yourself and the new Sans was rather noticeable. He was the largest skeleton here, no doubt, even taller than the Papyruses. That being the case, you were hesitant to think of how large _his_ Papyrus was, and simply focused yourself upon acquiring the towels from a rather concerned Geno.

Yeah, at some point Geno had arrived, preceded by Ink (who looked fascinated), Error (who looked disgusted), Fresh (who didn't look any different than his usual amusement), Edge (who currently had a deadpan expression worthy of Frisk themself), and Classic Sans (who wanted to protect his bro from what had freaked him out). Everyone else had remained upstairs for whatever reason, and as you murmured a thanks to Geno for the towels, the skeletons present finally took notice of the disturbed and stuttering Sci in the corner.

"i- oh stars- that was, that was horrifying-"

The poor skeleton's grin was strained, and the wild Sans behind you tilted his head curiously at the tension in the scientist's soul. With an inquisitive chirp, he lumbered over to the smallest skeleton in the room, and casually cornered him... Nice.

Sufficiently dry, you noticed the nervous eye contact Sci was holding with the new arrival, and hummed thoughtfully.

"I'm not quite familiar with this Sans, so his AU must've been created recently, but there are a few things I've noticed. Eye contact is basically a challenge, so you should probably duck your head or something. Also, he understands what we're saying to some level, but isn't very familiar with our mannerisms. Because you skeletons here are all monsters, you don't quite get the cultural free pass that I as a human do, so he might cater more to his instincts around you..."

You walked over to the space between the nervous scientist and the feral skeleton, reaching up with both hands to lightly pat the zygomatic bones of the two. There was no specific reason you did so, but it seemed to distract the wild Sans from the current stare down, and he cooed slightly as he turned his calculating gaze towards your face. You didn't notice this, your own gaze settled upon the watching skeletons across the basement.

"uh... why is he here though? wasn't the point of this little excursion to see if we could get home yet?"

Withdrawing your hands, you sauntered over to the hot and slightly smoking machine, dropping a towel onto the puddle of slime on the floor along the way so nobody slipped. You had a very satisfied smirk upon your face as you regarded the skeletons present, particularly Classic Sans.

"Indeed, and the possibility of return is confirmed. Unexpected stowaways will overheat the machine, as was just unintentionally discovered... but yes, return is confirmed."

With a slight widening of your smirk, you gave a dramatic bow and gestured to the wires that'd been screwed around with before, before finally allowing yourself to gloat.

"...I told you sooo~"

Obeying your instincts, you ducked beneath an annoyed swipe from Edge, and laughed at the grumpy expression on his skull.

"It's true! I told y'all that I was necessary for the plot and you didn't believe me! So SUCK IT!"

You clumsily dodged backwards to avoid another strike, and your middle-back knocked into the new arrival's patella.

Yep, that was how big this dude was. Fear the skeletons, fear them.

"Alright, alright, I'll keep my gloating to myself. So, shall we take this upstairs to celebrate the good news?"

Without waiting for a response, you put the overheated machine on lockdown and immediately sauntered up the stairs, picking up Sci along the way. The still nervous scientist resisted slightly, tensing up and grabbing hold of your arm, but eventually gave up on life and let you hug him.

Yep, these skeletons seemed to be acclimating to your presence quite well.

"GREAT. LIKE WE NEEDED ANOTHER SANS AROUND HERE. DOES THIS ONE TELL PUNS TOO?"

Edge seemed to be a bit salty. A dirty joke about getting wet from the slime came to mind, but you managed to restrain yourself from speaking it, not wanting to aggro the tsundere skeleton any further than he'd been already.

"Well, he can't speak English. Font. Whatever your skeleton language is that I can magically understand now. So no, he doesn't tell puns, but he might enjoy them."

A thought came to mind, and you released Sci upon the couch once you reached the living room, turning abruptly to enter the kitchen. Blueberry waved hello from the table, his mouth apparently full judging by the tacos on his plate- when did you get taco ingredients?- and the only reason he didn't shout a greeting. As you grabbed a bowl and some more ramen- praise ramen, the holy anime food followed closely by toast- names began to be considered for this new arrival.

"Hello Blue. We have a new Sans here, if you want to meet him. He's very instinctual, though, so you might want to tone down your excitement a bit. I'm gonna call him Fuzz. Cuz he's got super fluffy fur around his neck. Can't tell if it's part of him or part of his coat though. So yeah, I'm calling him Fuzzy."

You turned towards the doorway, where the feral Sans was looking at you in amusement, and grinned.

"You've officially been dubbed Fuzz. No offense to your masculinity, of course. I'm just calling you Fuzz. Maybe Fuzzy if I feel that a second-level nickname is necessary in the moment. It makes sense because Sanses by nature have a fuzzy, unclear quality about them, and it's ironic because skeletons are in no way actually fuzzy. So yep, Fuzz, or Fuzzy. Like it? Yes? No? Good. It's what I'm calling you."

The noodles were cooked, and you handed him the bowl- only after adding the flavor packet, of course.

"Here ya go, welcome to my house, enjoy your stay while the machine cools down! I'm gonna go upstairs and nap for a while, cuz that little adventure in your universe was pretty tiring."

The new arrival seemed fairly bemused by your attitude, but you were exhausted. It was only 7 in the afternoon too, sheesh! To be fair, you'd had a long few days, but still.

"Hey, you don't mind if I paint the walls of your house, right?"

Huh. _Now_ he asked.

"Nah bruh, go ahead. The walls are pretty bland. Go house on 'em."

You blinked at the unintentional pun, and groaned to yourself. Memes seemed like the best way to recover from this.

"Wow. I can't even believe I did that. Somebody shove me into a Starbux and call me a white girl, cuz I can't even."

Straightening up, you turned around as though talking to your past self, and pointed at the air dramatically as you deepened your voice.

"That meme has been dead for two years! Get some new material!"

You turned around again, pointing back in the direction you were originally heading, and opened your mouth to make a stunning retort back at yourself... but then just sighed and walked up the stairs, muttering about needing sleep more than conversation at the moment.

Flopping down onto your bed, you grabbed the Notebook of Communication and wrote a large message on it, throwing the notebook out the open door of your bedroom once you were done.

_*DON'T DESTROY THE HOUSE, DON'T USE THE MACHINE CUZ IT'S NOT CALIBRATED CORRECTLY YET, AND DON'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY. I NEED A NAP. AND BY NAP, I MEAN A NICE, HIBERNATION PERIOD LASTING THREE TO SIX MONTHS. BUT I'LL PROBABLY BE AWAKE BY TOMORROW MORNING. I LIKE FOOD WHEN IT'S MADE FOR ME. SUBTLE HINT, SUBTLE HINT. G'NIGHT EVEN THOUGH IT'S ONLY LIKE EIGHT IN THE EVENING.*_

Hopefully they'd get the memo and keep playing nice. You trusted them enough to sleep and leave them unsupervised, so there was that. Maybe they'd respect your trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sci has officially been scarred for life.
> 
> Feraltale Sans belongs to DragonLovingGirl6! I read her story recently and kinda fell in love with it xD whoops


	20. The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Plot Holes, Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A secret has been unlocked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secret Unlockable #1:
> 
> Objectives Fulfilled:  
> 1) Feel protective feelings.  
> 2) Discuss secret unlockables.  
> 3) Name an unlockable AU.
> 
> Single Objective Eliminated:  
> 1) Name the specific unlockable AU to unlock it. (Can only be eliminated if all other objectives are fulfilled.)

When you woke up, the house was quiet.

For a moment you thought you were having another Nightmare-induced dream, but then you realized that it was dark, and that you were thinking clearly. Unlike most dreams, where things were rather dim and distanced from your senses, you had all senses up and running perfectly. This was not a dream, and the house was silent.

Huh. Maybe the Papyrus equivalent skeletons slept after all.

A dim clatter from the kitchen caught your attention, and you glanced at the clock, wondering how early it was for people to be making breakfast... it was 3 in the morning. Waking up at this time wasn't unusual when you'd gone to bed so early, but for others to be awake, they probably hadn't gone to sleep yet. It was probably someone just getting a midnight snack.

Still. Carefully climbing out of bed, you put on some plush slippers to muffle the sound of your footsteps, in order to avoid waking up any of the skeletons that _were_ still asleep. The overall silence of the house made you fairly certain that everyone was asleep except for whoever was in the kitchen.

Making your way down the stairs, you avoided that one step that always creaked when used, and turned the corner to enter the hallway. Another thump and an odd hiss from the kitchen had you wondering if a stray cat had gotten in, but the whimper that followed had you remembering something odd you'd heard a few days ago. Sandpaper rasping against metal... sharp barks of laughter... and quiet whimpering just like this. Honey had said there were more skeletons present before you named them than after, right? Whoever was making these whimpering sounds was probably one of them...

They could be dangerous.

Slowly, you leaned around the edge of the doorway, and couldn't help the gasp that escaped your lips. Not one, but two skeletal creatures were on the floor, and they were in horrible condition. One was unconscious, and the other was shaking in anxiety and fear, inspecting the unconscious one. Easily recognizable due to your Undertale fandom obsession, you identified the two creatures as those from the GasterBlaster AU, but their size...

These were the BabyBlaster bros.

At the sound of your gasp, the scared one whipped his head up to face you, and whined softly. The protective and pleading stance he took was simply heartbreaking, and you instantly knew that you couldn't handle this in your usual crazy manner. These two baby blasters that made you feel feelings would need to be taken care of more delicately... fortunately, you recalled their story quite well.

"Hey there Papyrus... Sans looks like he needs some help, there... Will you let me help him?"

As you spoke quietly, you crouched down so you appeared to be less of a threat, offering your hand with fingers downwards as though coaxing forth a feral cat. It was fortunate that you- theoretically- knew how to handle these instinct-driven monster types due to all the fanfiction you'd read. 

What!? Beasttale Sans was hot! (Hot damn~)

The blaster-form Papyrus regarded you cautiously, and you did your best to show your peaceful intentions... It paid off. Surprisingly, once you passed his assessment, he just bounded right over and headbutted your stomach, like a strange, excitable puppy looking for comfort. You felt feelings again, and began to soothingly pet his skull.

"Alright, knowing Sans, I imagine he's been giving you all of his food. The lack of monster food in general here means that he'd be more deprived than usual, along with all that energy spent avoiding the other versions of you two. He only collapsed recently, so there's a good chance that he isn't Falling Down, if we get some food in him... There are probably some leftovers in the fridge."

With the Pupyrus calmed down a little, you turned to open the fridge, and obtained a tupperware container of lasagna to reheat. An absolutely devious grin spread across your lips as you remembered a comic dub about the three most popular Papyruses eating spaghetti, and with that grin still on your face, you glanced over to blaster Papyrus and whispered a choice line from the comic...

"Those who forget the pasta... are doomed to reheat it."

He whined in displeasure, glaring at you for the bad sense of humor. That was good- anger would distract him from worrying so much, and once he stopped worrying, things would be easier on him.

Taking out the warm lasagna, you retrieved a fork and approached the unconscious blaster Sans, setting the food to the side while Papyrus watched you closely. He didn't have much choice but to let you help them, but he wouldn't trust you until his brother was okay. You were determined to show these two baby blasters that they could trust you, even if you had only just met them and were flying by the seat of your pants.

With yourself seated comfortably on the floor, you carefully brought the unconscious Sans into your lap, and scooted underneath the table with the lasagna in tow. The partially enclosed space would be comforting to the blaster instincts, and it would prevent any errant skeletons from needing to walk around you if they woke up while you were doing this. 

Heh, look at you, planning for the long term already.

Not quite certain how far these two had developed, you decided to cut up the lasagna into small bites _and_ crush it a bit. Small bites were a given, but you weren't certain if they could chew properly yet- they probably could, but it was better to be safe than sorry, and this was a situation to which that applied. Children were a weak spot. Especially skeleton children. 

Dammit Undertale.

Blaster Papyrus stared at you as you lifted up the unconscious Sans' head and held the bite beneath his nosehole, trying to kick start his instincts to respond to the food through smell. He stirred, and went for the food, not quite comprehending where he was yet. That was okay- you could acclimate him later, for now he needed food.

Watching his brother eat, blaster Papyrus seemed to relax, and after a few moments you heard some snapping and cracking sounds from his direction. A quick glance confirmed your thought- he was returning to his babybones form, now that the threat was mostly diffused and he was relaxed- but you kept the majority of your focus on the smol Sans. He was eating well, and becoming more aware of his surroundings- you knew the latter because he'd stiffened after looking at you, but he allowed you to keep feeding him at the sight of his brother right nearby. Good- he was old enough to consider the possible implications of acting out, and therefore old enough to probably understand you.

"Hey there Sans. I came down here expecting a stray cat, and what do I find but a couple more skeleton brothers? One unconscious and one shaking with worry, nonetheless. You should take better care of yourself, y'know. Pupyrus was scared for you enough to let me help."

Dammit Undertale. You needed every ounce of inner manliness you possessed to keep from crying sympathetically. RESIST THE FEELS. RESIST.

"Still, it's a good thing you collapsed here instead of elsewhere. The kitchen is a well-traversed place, and you would've been found sooner or later, as you were. You're lucky I found you, by the way. I know most of your needs from various stories I've read, and so far I seem to be doing a good job. We should probably move before the others wake up though. You don't seem ready to meet fourteen adult skeletons yet."

As you fed the alert baby blaster Sans, you kept your voice quiet and slow, occasionally stroking his skull to keep an air of soothing about the three of you. Pupyrus- yep, you were calling him that, maybe Pup for short- had fully recovered from his transformation, and was watching you in careful silence as the lasagna was gradually finished off. However, that silence was broken by a low and scratchy voice- Pup was following your example of quiet speaking.

"I think we can trust this human, Sans. They haven't done anything to hurt us, and, and they saved you from Falling Down! Do you have any idea how low your HP was!? It was even lower than usual. It was in the deci... decinal... decimanals! That's low!"

Oh dear. Your instincts were totally triggered by the adorableness of these two.

The blaster Sans regarded you with rapt attention, watching you for several seconds without blinking. You stared back, also unblinking, and slowly crossed your eyes for comedic effect as you closed the empty tupperware container with the fork inside. Pup seemed to find that amusing, if his stifled giggles meant anything, and you couldn't quite keep a grin from spreading across your face at the sound of them. Fortunately, these giggles seemed to seal the deal for the kittenlike Sans, and you were permitted to lead the two baby blasters out from under the table.

"Alright you two, let's be super quiet so we don't wake anyone else up, yeah? Normally I'd be all for being a rude hoe and waking them up in a ruckus, but I get the feeling you're not quite ready to meet them all at once. Hence the slow introduction idea. Does that sound alright? I don't want to be too pushy or controlling, even though that's pretty much a large part of my personality. I deny myself for the greater good!"

You felt a weight upon your leg, and glanced down to see that it was the smol Papyrus using your foot as a seat. Raising a single eyebrow, you took note of his mischievous gaze, and decided to play along when the sounds of bone popping reached your ears.

"Well, well, well. I suppose this is leg day. Gotta get these noodles fit, yeah? Gotta get ripped, and to get ripped, you never skip leg day. But oh no, I only have enough weight for one leg! Whatever shall I do for the other one?"

The skeletal child, giggling, pointed behind you to his brother. You turned, and noticed that the smol Sans had completed his transformation. The cheeky little shit decided to wave at you! Hello small child!

"He'll be the other weight! Bro, grab their other leg! We're gonna help them train for leg day!"

Stars, so adorable. Your inner manliness was failing you.

"Heh, why bro? I'm pretty comfortable right here..."

Interesting... The child version of Sans had more energy to his voice. Whatever had happened to your soul to make you able to understand the skeletons, it was telling you that this Sans actually used proper capitalization in his speech.

"SANS! C'MOOOOOON!"

You listened hard to try hearing if anyone woke up from that screech, but fortune seemed to favor you. The smol Sans quickly took hold of your other leg to quiet his bro down, and you set off like a spy, making exaggerated movements to check around the corners of doorways and scout out the rooms and hallways leading back to your bedroom. This was much to the amusement of the kids clinging onto you- oh stars why were you already this attached to them, it's only been a chapter- and you successfully brought them to safety within the bed.

"Okay, you guys wanna make a blanket fort, or head to sleep?"

The two responded by pulling the thickest blanket over themselves, effectively hogging it and leaving you cold for the rest of the night. They were still totally adorable. 

Worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Blaster Bros Unlocked!


	21. Why Stay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The skeletons seem to be settling in. You're understandably confused about this.

As the sun rose outside, thin rays of sunlight streamed through the open air and met with the impenetrable barrier of your curtains, staying outside where it fucking belonged.

Selective vampirism for the win.

With the two baby blasters still sound asleep under the covers, you decided to make a quick run back to the kitchen for more magic food... and promptly froze upon the sight of Fuzzy, who was just outside your doorway with a bunch of blankets and pillows in his grasp, totally blocking the hallway and staring directly at you.

"Um. Hi. And bye."

You closed the door, not quite expecting that to have been the first sight you saw after opening your door, and waited several minutes before opening it again.

Yup. Still there. And now with another four blankets and three pillows- HOW?

"...ooooof course you'd start collecting stuff for a nest. Of course you would. Welp, have fun with that, and try to use an emptier room for it."

The stare that the feral Sans sent your way was nothing less than amused, and you puffed out your cheeks slightly before closing the door again. Now aware that you had a gigantic skeleton blocking the hallway, you decided to look into other options for inter-house travel.

Basically, you looked at the windows to see if you were comfortable with the drop height. Nope. One window led onto a rooftop, but that just led to a painful drop onto hard pavement or rocky landscaping. The other window was a similar situation, leading to the wood of the back deck, except with the added danger of possibly falling through. So yeah, but nope, no window escapades today.

Mentally turning back to the two sleeping babybones, you decided to use your closet for something other than thick winter blankets and clothes from eight years ago, and promptly walked over to the forgotten haven. Opening the door, you pushed aside the clothes and began unfolding the blankets, arranging them into a sort of nest for the babyblasters. Yes... and adding pillows... they would be comfortable as fuck in there. You'd stake your life on it.

"UM, EXCUSE ME LARGE OTHER ME, BUT COULD I GET BY? I NEED TO WAKE UP THE HUMAN FOR BREAKFAST!"

The muffled voice of Blueberry caught your attention, and after a few final adjustments to the closet nest, you cast a glance to the babybones on the bed. Your thoughts were confirmed- the two skeletons were wide awake, and staring at the door with expressions of mixed hesitation and excitement. Heh, you could even see Pup vibrating slightly, almost like a Temmie...

"G'morning you two. Did you wanna meet the others today? If not, there's a safe little nest in the closet for you to rest in. You can also go there any time if you do meet the others and want a break. The Sans speaking outside the door is Blueberry, and the bigger one that doesn't talk is Fluffy."

Kit snickered slightly at the nickname for his large alternate, but looked to Pup for the final decision. Of course, the smol Papyrus was already climbing off the bed and rushing towards the door- you picked him up along the way and held him against your hip, amused by how light skeletons were.

"Okay, that's a yes then. Kit- yes, that's your new nickname, Sans- make sure to tell me if you're feeling overwhelmed at any point. You too, Pup."

With an amused huff, the smol Sans climbed off the bed to approach. You offered your arm to him, and without much fuss or resistance, he accepted the new perch and reached behind your back to link his arm with his brother's... The adorableness was almost too much. RESIST THE CUTE. RESIST IT.

After checking to make certain the two were secure, you used your foot to open the door- mad skillz, bitch- and promptly sauntered out like you owned the place.

Oh yeah. You did own the place. All these skeletons were squatters, squatters, y'hear!?

They couldn't really pay rent though... all their G was left at home... so you'd show them MERCY.

"OH, HELLO HUMAN! WHEN DID THE BABYBONES ARRIVE?"

Fluffy was no longer in sight, which left Blueberry free to peek at the smol skellies on your hips, an expression of excited curiosity on his skull. The stars in his eyesockets seemed to be glowing slightly brighter... Heh. Cute.

"I believe they've been here since the beginning of this mess... but either nobody paid them any attention, or they snuck off just that stealthily. Don't be too loud or move too quickly, though, they come from a... bad sort of universe. Now, excusé moi, but I heard something about breakfast and I'm certain that these two are starving."

Holding the babybones securely in each arm, you maneuvered past the curious Blueberry, making your way down the stairs and into the living room. Currently present in that room were Geno, Honey, Sci, and Sans, chatting about the machine and how to fix the overheating issue, but this conversation stopped when they caught sight of you with their younger alternates. The four seemed fairly shocked to see that there were more of them present, and you smirked slightly.

"These two have been dubbed Kit and Pup. You'll find out why if they ever feel threatened or upset enough... but I'd recommend you not upset them. You'll have an angry human to deal with if you do so, and I doubt that you wish to meet such an unfortunate situation."

Pup waved to the alternates, a nervous smile on his skull, and held his brother's hand slightly tighter. Conversely, Kit just stared at them with empty eyesockets, and you shifted him to a slightly more comfortable position before continuing into the hallway and subsequently into the dining hall. This was where the remainder of the skeletons were gathered, and when you entered, they didn't seem to pay much attention to you until Pup gasped at the sight of all the food on the table.

You stared too, but more so wondering where they'd gotten all that food from, rather than out of awe. The fridge did not hold that much food in it last you checked, so they had to have gotten it from somewhere else... perhaps a universe, or perhaps they'd decided to risk setting off into your world for a grocery store. Foolish skeletons they were, if it was the latter option, but you'd give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

"WHAT THE FUCK. HONESTLY HUMAN, HOW MANY OF US DO YOU PLAN ON ACQUIRING? IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK AND TWISTED PLOY TO AMASS A HAREM OF US SKELETONS? BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORKING."

Pup squeaked at the menacing tone of his older and edgier alternate self, turning to hide his face in your side. He didn't make any indication that he wanted to return- the brave boy- and neither did Kit, who was staring in high annoyance at the one who startled his bro. You could barely hold back a proud smile at the sight.

"Language Edge, and watch it. You don't really want to be _that guy_ who makes children cry. Even you're not that much of a jerk. Even _Ink_ isn't that much of a jerk... actually no, he is. You want to be better than that smug demigod, right?"

A shocked gasp was heard from the latter mentioned skeleton, a pouting expression upon his skull. So many different expressions to be seen today, it seemed.

"Me? Make children cry? I don't know what you're talking about."

You side-eyed him, setting the two babybones down in a large chair to share before making a sick, one word burn...

"Paperjam."

Error glared at Ink from across the table, before standing up and leaving, displeased to hear of his abomination of a son. It wasn't that he cared, of course, just that he didn't like to hear or see anything of Paperjam at all. He hadn't been prepared to have a child created from the remnants of battle with the Protector.

"Hey, he set off on his own. He's a grown skellinkton, he can take care of himself."

Cutting up some of the food for the babybones, you paused for a moment to point the knife at Ink and frown.

"They 'set off' as you put it when they were barely a teenager... _and_ they spawned in with a physical age of three, so technically they weren't even a teenager yet. You neglected them hard enough that they chose to run away from home and seek a better life. There will be no attempting to get Father of the Year awards for you, Ink."

The colorful skeleton folded his arms with a pout, not conceding defeat, but not fighting any further. He didn't seem to want to risk facing up against the knife in your hand. Satisfied with this result, you handed a couple of forks to the babyblasters, keeping an eye on them to make sure they didn't accidentally stab themselves or anything. 

It was at this moment that something very important came to mind.

"Oh. Where's Fuzz? We don't want him to see Kit and Pup here, especially if they're distressed in any way. Instincts will take over, that sort of thing."

Honey, having arrived for food just in time to hear that, snorted quietly.

"like they have with you? and fuzz is upstairs somewhere."

You shrugged.

"I don't deny it. But unless you want child versions of yourselves encountering the inside of a pouch that's eerily similar to a stomach, then yeah, keep the babybones away from Fuzz."

Once the two smol skellies were situated, you hummed thoughtfully, looking around the large table at the other skeletons present. Other than the three previously noted in the living room, Error having left earlier, and Fuzz being busy with a nest, there were still three more skeletons missing from the room.

"Huh... where are Fresh and the Dreamtale bros?"

It was Red who answered, surprisingly.

"eh, the neon freak is out getting supplies, and the dreamers went back to their universe. said they had stuff to do involving a tree or some shit."

You nodded, understanding what was meant by that, and contemplated why Fresh would get supplies. It'd been a few days, so he probably would be getting a new body along with those supplies... and the supplies thing explained why there was so much magic food present. But, now there was a new question to be asked.

"Language, Red. Think of the children. Anyways, why not just go home, now that the machine is working? I mean, it's not like anything is keeping you here. I couldn't stop ya, even if I wanted to. So why stay?"

Edge huffed, standing up with his empty plate and taking it over to the sink, where he ran a sponge under the faucet in preparation to clean it. It seemed that the Papyrus equivalents had taken over your kitchen. Oh well.

"OBVIOUSLY IT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO RETURN YET. WHAT ELSE WOULD MAKE US STAY?"

Your eyes lit up in a fashion that the Sans equivalents recognized from their own mischievous urges, and you stood up from the table to keep the other skeletons out of the crossfire you anticipated. It was time to do what Undertale had taught you best.

**[ ACT ]**  
**_*Flirt_ **

"Well, you said it yourself earlier, Edge... it could be that you want to be part of the Handsome Skeleton Harem I'm amassing. I mean, it's not like it's working or anything."

The glare of sheer, unadulterated rage had you cackling with glee, before a wet and sudsy sponge smacked into your face and sent bubbles of soap into your mouth.

"I FIRMLY SUGGEST YOU WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT AFTER SPEAKING SUCH FILTHY NONSENSE."

The sponge was flung back in Edge's direction, but he caught it, and simply watched you attempt to remove the soap from your tongue... and then he struck, tossing the soapy sponge with deadly accuracy into your mouth. The expression of sheer disgust upon your face was enough to get the bystanding skeletons to start laughing, especially Ink, that jerk.

"NOOOOOOO, IT'S GROSS, NO!"

Still, the sound of their laughter made you feel... dare you say it? Happy. They were staying, for whatever reasons they had. Maybe you could have a happy ending too, just like the stories you'd read... 

For now, you had to figure out what those reasons were, and maybe explore a universe or two. Oh, and you had to hide the babyblasters from Fuzzy, at least until one of the two parties went home. Unless you could somehow convince the feral Sans to let you take care of them your way... which was unlikely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter instead of focusing on my other story. Whoops.


	22. Cooking, Cards, and Cannibalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. The last one is a lie. Or is it foreshadowing, huehuehue?

"IT'S RAINING TACOS, FROM OUT OF THE SKY!"

How did it come to this.

"TACOS, NO NEED TO ASK WHY!"

What cruel deity had put this upon them.

"JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH, AND CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

"ER, THAT'S A BIT SUGGESTIVE-"

"IT'S RAINING TACOS!"

Those poor, poor skeletons.

What had started out as an ordinary day, with breakfast being finished up nicely and everyone scattering to do other things during the morning, utterly changed when lunchtime came around. You see, it was Blueberry's turn to cook, and with the babyblasters napping securely in their smol closet nest, you'd taken the opportunity to 'help' the Swap Sans in his endeavor.

The rank stench of regret filled the air, burnt meat and melted cheese wafting past the noseholes of every culinary skeleton present.

Blueberry, after grasping the fire extinguisher and promptly putting out the stovetop, glared at you hard enough to have you freeze in mid-song. Your face itself was contorted in an interesting manner, a frown so clearly forced upon it that it was obvious that you were struggling to keep back a smile, eyes lit up with unrestrained mirth... and this expression only got more and more strained as the smallest adult Sans firmly removed and banned you from the kitchen.

Hey, when you offered to help, you never said you could cook! Your specialty was pasta, not meat products.

So now, here you stood, in the doorway of the living room with several amused skeletons staring back at you. It was quiet for a few moments, until the door to the kitchen slammed shut... and then the dam broke.

"Pffffttttt heh heh hah hah!"

You covered your mouth and flopped onto the nearest unoccupied couch, stifling your laughter to hopefully prevent the Blueberry from being insulted. Well, _more_ insulted than he already was.

"wow. somebody had fun cooking with blue and paps."

Honey was the first to speak, his position offering him a perfect view of the doorway and down the hall to the kitchen. It was likely that he'd seen the entire event.

In front of him was the coffee table, and on the table was a deck of cards. It seemed that a game had been interrupted by your shenanigans, but the players didn't appear too upset.

Sans, directly to Honey's left, looked more amused than anything else. Geno, left of Sans, had an expression of contemplation on his skull, and to his left, Fuzz also appeared amused. Fuzz seemed to be the only Sans without cards in front of him- perhaps he couldn't play, or he'd already lost? Whatever the case, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

Finally, to the left of Fuzzy, Fresh was completely indifferent in a pleasant manner.

Huh. When did Fresh get back?

...eh, it didn't matter. He was looking pretty dope in those neon Chesstale clothes though.

"Yup! Although I wouldn't exactly call it cooking. More like 'Blue And Paps Do All The Work While I Fail Miserably And Decide To Goof Off Instead.' That sounds about right."

Feeling rather satisfied with yourself, you sat up and peered over at the hand of the nearest skeleton, waggling your eyebrows suggestively while in close proximity.

"Know anything about poker, brah?"

Cheerfully, taking out another deck of cards and moving to start building a tower of cards, you responded.

"Not anything more than your average, everyday plebian. BS is my card game of choice. Otherwise I can make a decent tower of cards!"

A huff from across the table had some of the outer cards falling over, but the rest of the tower remained standing. You stared at the culprit with playfully narrowed eyes as you replaced the fallen cards, and slowly began building the next floor.

It was an odd sort of socialization. You were present, active within the group, but not really a part of it. By doing your own thing, you didn't fit in. Most people would shun you for such a thing, _had_ shunned you in the past for such a thing, but these skeletons just shrugged and moved on. Monsters were so much better than humans... that's one of the main reasons you liked Undertale and its fandom. Also one of the reasons why you didn't like Humantale.

Finishing the top floor of the tower, you grinned happily to yourself, and began stacking various objects on top of it. One might think that a tower of cards wouldn't be able to support five mugs with varying levels of liquid within, but that was the wonder of weight distribution. Applied physics for the win!

"..."

Now you were bored. Fuck.

"Welp, anyone got anything for me to do while we wait for lunch? I'm aware that I can be rather pushy and inconsiderate at times, and it's mostly unintentional, but it still happens. I like to make up for it occasionally. So, got anything ya need done?"

Seeing a devious look forming on Honey's face, you quickly pointed in his direction, playfully narrowing your eyes.

"Anything _reasonable_ to be done. I ain't no cheap slore."

With a confused expression, Geno looked around from his hand of cards, and settled his gaze on you.

"uh... slore?"

Removing the mugs from the tower of cards- really, why push your luck?- and beginning deconstruction, you answered cheerfully.

"A portmanteau of slut and whore. Because really, we need that word to exist. Don't you agree?"

Unfortunately, before anyone could acknowledge the genius of your caliber, Red came up the stairs and took the liberty of picking you up with his magic. The weightless sensation put a grin on your face, even as you were effectively kidnapped down to the basement without a word.

"Okay. I guess you need me for something. Wassup with life on the Edge, eh?"

The skeleton snorted quietly, and just set you down in front of the machine, before stuffing his hands back in his pockets.

"we need ya to test out a little modification. make sure the machine doesn't overheat. this time one of us'll be goin' with ya."

Your grin widened. A new universe exploration? Hopefully you wouldn't bring back another stow away, but that wasn't very likely with a skeleton coming with you.

"So who's the lucky skeleton, hmm? Ooh, is this a daaaaate~?"

A clipboard clattered to the ground nearby, and you chuckled at the matching blushes on Sci and Red's skulls. The former picked up his clipboard again, and without further hesitation, gave you a metal bracelet. It seemed familiar... and then you remembered that you'd seen another like it, sometime around the time Fluffy arrived.

Wait. Did you just call him Fluffy? Oh geez, the feral Sans was losing ferocious masculinity with every second he was contemplated. Poor, poor Fuzz. Bones couldn't even be fluffy! Unless magic could make them fluffy.

Eh, you wouldn't judge.

"sh-shut up. it's not a fuckin' date. it's just making sure the machine won't overheat if more than one person uses it."

Humming thoughtfully, you considered teasing Red about that stutter, but dismissed the option in favor of simply tugging him over into the machine to stand beside you. He stumbled, not expecting this, but recovered quickly enough with an incoherent grumble of displeasure.

"Come on then, no time like the present!"

Sci took this as affirmation of readiness, and proceeded to close the door, entering a few commands into the panel to activate it.

"alright, you two will be back in an hour or so. the bracelets will allow you to track each other within the entire length of the underground, and if one of you is injured, the other bracelet will vibrate. i have one too, as we're also testing how sufficiently the signal carries through the void, so my bracelet should also vibrate if either of you are injured. uh... that's it."

You gave him a reassuring thumbs up, and proceeded to toss an arm carelessly over Red's shoulder as the countdown began.

"So, you ready for a potentially dangerous universe? Oh stars, what if we end up in Sugartale? It'd definitely be amusing to see how you'd react to your aesthetic opposite... Ooh, if we end up in JerryLustFellSwap, I am probably going to climb the nearest tree and stay there trying not to gag until we get back. It's a horrible place. You know Jerry? Yeah, imagine a universe where _everyone_ is Jerry. That concept alone is horrifying, but combined with LustFellSwap, I hesitate to even imagine such a thing."

The skeleton that was slightly taller than you sighed, removing your arm and giving a thumbs up to Sci.

"let's get this shit over with..."


	23. A Hot Date With Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strangely, there are no cannibals here either. Where could they have gone?

There the two of you stood, the dull snow showing footprints from the original location you'd arrived in to where you stood now. Before you was a large bear trap- the classic circular model with serrated teeth that wasn't used very often nowadays, what with animal cruelty hunting laws in place- but it wasn't the trap itself that had stopped the two of you.

It was the dried blood that stained the rusted metal black.

"what the fuck."

You picked up a nearby branch and used it to tap the center of the trap, triggering it into going off. The branch was brutally snapped in half, and you nodded in silent appreciation of such a gruesome trap. Beside you, Red seemed to reluctantly agree with this assessment, eyeing the trap with a deadpan expression.

"I believe we have found ourselves in a Horror variant universe."

The skeleton in red and black and yellow glanced around, and after a few moments of examining the surroundings, you moved on ahead of the trap. He, of course, caught up quickly.

"uh... horror variant?"

You abruptly realized that he wouldn't get your terminology, as you hadn't explained it yet.

Eh, baby steps.

"Yep! I like to think of the Multiverse in a certain way, so I've developed a terminology to be used. Relating to variants, there are base universes and there are variant universes. A base universe only has one big thing setting it apart from the original universe, such as UnderFell being different from Undertale in that the world is kill or be killed instead of mercy and compassion, or UnderSwap being different from Undertale in that the personalities of each monster are swapped with their counterpart. You following me so far?"

Red nodded, keeping his guard up and his eyelights on the surroundings. Without speaking, he tugged you to the side to make you avoid a trap you hadn't seen, and you nodded in thanks as you continued your explanation.

"UnderFell and UnderSwap are both considered base universes. However, the SwapFell universe, also known as FellSwap, is a variant universe. It has two base characteristics that set it apart from the original, and can be considered as a Fell variant universe or a Swap variant universe. Of course, base universes can also be considered variant universes, but they really only have one possible variant to them. UnderFell can only be a Fell variant universe. UnderSwap can only be a Swap variant universe."

Using another stick, you casually set off another bear trap, smirking slightly at the brutal destruction of the poor object. Red, walking beside you, growled slightly at the sound before dismissing it in favor of making an interjection in your flow.

"a'right, hold up. why do you call this a horror variant?"

The two of you came to the bridge Papyrus had painted to look like a rope bridge, and you smiled in amusement as you checked underneath it for a camera that you knew was there. The camera was broken.

"Because of the similarities it possesses with Horrortale, another base universe. It could be Horrortale itself, or some extension of it. The best way to discern differences between universes is with three distinct steps, I find. Step one, check the environment. This includes the general area you're in, and the regular monsters you can find. Blood usually means a Horror variant, and dust usually means a Fell variant, as both are highly popular universes. Clothing style tells quite a bit, too, what with Creators wanting their universes to be unique."

So far, neither of you had run into any regular monsters. For a moment, you wondered if Aliza was capable of going on a Genocide Run, before remembering that she could choose something like Kindness and Cruelty as her options instead of Mercy and Fight.

"step two?"

Snowdin came into sight. The bloodstained welcome sign seemed rather foreboding, and you smiled uncomfortably as you continued.

"Check the boss monsters. Those are Toriel, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton, and Asgore, in order of chronological appearance within the original universe. Personalities are slightly different with each universe, but all share certain base characteristics that make them easily recognizable. For example, skeletons tend to have some sort of food or beverage specific to their liking. You like mustard, Classic Sans likes ketchup, and Blueberry likes hardcore whiskey."

The look Red shot you was nothing less than incredulous, and you snorted slightly, peering into the empty shop that the purple bunny lady ran.

"Just kidding. Blueberry's main thing is food, like most Papyrus equivalents, but all three of you Sanses like Grillby's. Granted, not every Sans and Grillby will have a good relationship due to the infinite nature of the Multiverse, but it's rare for one to not know the other in some significant way."

Not needing the verbal incentive, you continued on to step three, as you peered inside Grillby's... which was also empty. Where was everyone?

"Step three, check the human. Depending on the universe, there is a wide variety of humans the story centers around, although most of the time the human is Frisk. However, there's also Aliza, the human of this universe, and Betty, the human of Glitchtale, to name just a couple. Naturally, there are also a lot of reader-insert stories, so there's roughly every name in existence being thrown into the timelines right there."

Soon, the two of you reached the house of the skeleton brothers, and you stood in front of the door for a few moments in contemplation. With how empty Snowdin was already, did you dare intrude upon the home of the large and hungry skeletons? Did you dare snoop around where you didn't belong?

Duh.

Of course you did.

Backing up a few steps, you sprinted forth as fast as you could in relatively shallow snow, and smashed into the door with a leaping kick... only to promptly rebound, and land in the snow. The door didn't even have a scratch in it, and now Red was laughing his nonexistent ass off at the ridiculousness of your actions. There goes your attempt to be badass.

"Shoosh, you... I wanted to kick the door in..."

He laughed more, the jerk. And then, with a simple and swift movement, he kicked the door in himself. Fucking show off.

"snrk, heh, that's how you do it-"

"All night long~!"

He froze mid-laugh, staring at you in shock and... was that genuine amusement?

You slowly, slowly began to smirk.

"did you just..."

"My mind has fallen prey to the dangers of intoxicants and sin. Fresh would be so disappointed in me if he were here."

Without further ado, you hopped up and sauntered into the house, completely curious and not the slightest bit afraid for your life. This was Horrortale. Why should you be afraid?

"HONEY, I'M HOOOOME~!"

Your voice echoed through the silent house, and taking note of your surroundings, you noticed that everything was covered in a fine layer of dust. Not monster dust, mind you, ordinary dust. It seemed that nobody had called this place their home for some time.

"How interesting. Maybe they got to the Surface here?"

A thought crossed your mind, and you checked the fridge.

Yup. Lots of human meat.

...

...

...

Now there's no need to be disgusting.

...

DON'T.

I MEAN IT.

JUST DON'T.

...

"whatcha starin' at so ha-"

Red froze beside you, looking at what you were removing from the fridge. The container of spaghetti was opened up, and you carefully sniffed the air above it, treating it as though it were a dangerous chemical in a lab... it didn't smell that nice.

"Monsters here ran low on food after Frisk came and went, and eventually turned to using human bodies as a food source. Nobody was spared the descent into madness, not even Papyrus. The meatballs of this spaghetti have human eyeballs in them, and the sauce has a good amount of blood. Smells like it's been here a long time, which means that either they reached the Surface, or they were killed."

Red looked disgusted by the explanation. Welp, you were curious, so-

"oh my stars don't fuckin' eat it!"

The container was slapped out of your hands, and its contents scattered across the kitchen with a sickening splat. You stared at the mess, and closed the fridge, before shrugging and heading out to the living room.

"Alright alright, don't get your socks bunched up on my account. I wasn't _really_ eating it, just having a small taste out of curiosity."

He stared at you with... well, not empty eyesockets, but reeeeaaally dim eyelights. They were barely visible, but they were still there. 

Congratulations. 

You just creeped out one of the toughest tsundere skeletons in the Multiverse.

"...why tha fuck would ya wanna know what humans taste like?"

There was no good answer, so you shrugged again, and moved past the broken front door into the snow.

"I mean, it's been converted to magic food, so that was pretty much the only opportunity I had to try it without any threat of horrible diseases. Don't worry, it was nasty and indescribable, so I won't be accepting any meals from Horrortale natives anytime soon."

As you glanced towards Waterfall, the bracelets that Red and you wore began to hum with energy, and you raised an eyebrow in a silent question towards the skeleton. He glanced at the cavernous ceiling as magic snow began to fall, and then shuffled over to stand beside you, taking your arm in an awkward manner.

Several moments passed, and you slowly grinned towards your new skeletal arm ornament as the humming grew louder.

"shut up, i'm only holding your arm so ya don't end up knocking me over when we get back." 

Huh. So it was a timer as well as a homing beacon and a damage indicator. Guess this means that the hour in this universe was up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =)


	24. [Insert Random Chapter Title Here]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You feel like dancing.

"I WANT TO DANCE."

Papyrus stared at you, a bemused expression upon his skull.

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU DANCE?"

You sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over your face and leaning back into the sleeping Sans behind you.

"Because I can't dance."

The tall skeleton shook his skull in sudden resolution, and you barely kept your balance as he pulled you up to a standing position.

"IF YOU CAN'T DANCE, THEN TRY TO LEARN!"

Taking out your tablet, you opened the browser and showed him the history of YouTube videos on dancing.

"I tried, breh. I guess I just need an actual teacher instead of videos though. Or I could take the easy route and go visit Dancetale's Underground..."

Sci, walking by the doorway at that moment, paused to listen just out of sight. It was rare to see you alone with Papyrus- naturally, Classic Sans was pretty protective of his brother, but maybe he'd decided to let up a bit.

"WHAT MAKES DANCETALE'S UNDERGROUND DIFFERENT? FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR UNIVERSE AND MY OWN IS THAT THEY DANCE TO EXPRESS THEIR MAGIC."

You smiled, leaning forward in your chair to show Papyrus the screen of your tablet. Out in the hallway, Sci was joined by a quiet Ink, the latter no doubt curious about how you'd describe the other universe.

"Well, it's in the magic itself. Humans that fall into Dancetale's Underground are affected by the thick concentration of magic within the Barrier, and become more in tune with their souls. Because Dancetale focuses around dancing, humans that fall into that Underground become connected to the dance style closest to who they are as a being."

Ink nodded silently beside Sci, the latter taking notes on the universe you were describing. Of course, lurking skeletons draw a crowd, and soon the two were joined by Blueberry and Honey.

The four eavesdroppers listened closely, taking in the unhindered excitement you possessed as you explaining that alternate universe. You really seemed to enjoy this...

"For example, Papyrus, the Dancetale version of you dances primarily to Latin music. The Latin repertoire of dance is high energy, and requires confidence, poise, and style to truly master. Naturally, you exude all of these things, and as such you are the best at and the closest to Latin dancing."

Fuzz, noticing the blockage in the hallway, rolled his eyelights and let out a huff of amusement. The listening skeletons were quick to shush him, and soon enough, he joined the metaphorical party. Fortunately, you didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary... lucky them.

"YOU SEEM TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT OUR VARIOUS UNIVERSES, HUMAN. JUST HOW MANY ARE THERE? HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOU DEVOTED TO STUDYING THE MULTIVERSE?"

The skeletons could practically see the **[-99999999]** above your head.

"J-just a few months. I have only been in the fandom for maybe half a year, but holy _funk_ have I gone in deep."

Welp, shit. Now you were disappointed in yourself.

Wait. You'd been censored.

"Hold up a minute. Fresh? Are you eavesdropping?"

The five skeletons in the hallway quickly scattered as you began to turn in their direction, moving along to their originally intended destinations.

"Nah brah, just rollin' through to snag some grub! There are a few other sicknasty rude dudes nearby though."

The neon skeleton was still possessing that snazzy Chesstale Sans, so you gave him a thumbs up and watched him move along into the main hallway. Shortly after Fresh, UnderFell Sans walked by the doorway, and upon seeing him passing by, you got an idea.

...

And the idea wouldn't leave you alone.

...

...

...

STAPH.

...

"...every time I think of the name Edge, it makes me think of UnderFell Papyrus instead of UnderFell Sans, all thanks to those reverse harem So Many Skeletons And A Human stories. I should've gone with the more popular nicknames... Can I go back and change them? I wanna change them. **EDGE, FELL, CAN I CHANGE YOUR NICKNAMES SLIGHTLY!?!?!?** "

You were loud when you wanted to be, holy smokes.

"WHY CHANGE THEIR NICKNAMES NOW? THE READERS ARE ALREADY USED TO THEIR CURRENT NICKNAMES, SO IT WOULD BE RUDE TO SUDDENLY CHANGE THEM NOW."

Covering your face with your hands, you groaned softly, nodding in aggravation.

"I know! But it happens so much, dude! I get an idea and I'm like 'Wow, This Is A Good Idea, I'm Gonna Do It,' but then ten or twenty chapters later I'm thinking of how it could've been better! Alas, the problems of doing things without a plan."

The tall skeleton laid a gloved hand on your shoulder reassuringly, and shook his skull in mock remorse.

"ALAS, POOR STORY PLANS. WE KNEW THEM WELL."

...

The two of you burst into snickers of amusement, and the conversation returned to a more normal subject.

"Anyways, I've been into Undertale for a decent amount of time, with a high amount of information obtained. And what information I don't know, I can pretty easily look up. The fandom is a beautiful place to be, one I shall probably be until the day I die. I think that if the people of the fandom weren't as awesome as they were, I probably wouldn't have gotten so interested. Like, these people restore my faith in humanity more than anything else these days."

After that statement, you paused for a few moments, before quietly muttering under your breath that you still disliked Humantale.

"so, uh... sorry to interrupt, but cuz you seem to know so much about alternate universes, i find myself curious as to what your favorite universe is."

Sci had returned, but this time the babyblasters were with him, peeking out from behind his legs.

_Stars the three of them were adorable._

Standing up and walking over to them, you promptly gathered the babyblasters under one arm and pulled Sci along with the other, bringing the three over to the couch to cuddle. Cuddles are awesome.

"Actually, I don't have a favorite. To ask a single favorite of me is to ask for the brightest star in the night sky- so many stand out, yet there isn't enough information to make a resolute decision upon the matter. Much like starlight outlives the stars thenselves, by the time I saw some AU's, they were already dead."

Ink returned to lurking in the doorway, a reluctantly curious Error in tow. Everyone was just eavesdropping today, sheesh.

"What do you mean by dead?"

The question from the smol Papyrus put a rueful little smile on your face, but you answered anyways.

"Well, FlowerFell is a good example of a dead AU. The Creator had already requested that there be no more FlowerFell stories by the time I read my first story on it. I still don't know quite why they requested such, except that the fans were being inconsiderate. It's a tragic loss in my opinion. I only ship Frans because of that AU and UnderMafia."

Kit spoke up after his brother, more interested in moving things on from mentions of death. He didn't feel that Pup was ready for that type of talk yet... although he did think that the way you'd phrased the favorites thing was pretty.

"UnderMafia? What's a Mafia?"

Out in the hallway, Ink and Error had mixed expressions of understanding upon their faces. 

When Creators deleted things within this universe, Error destroyed things within their Multiverse. Nobody had ordered Error to do such a thing- he'd destroyed them on his own- but the two separate events coincided. 

Likewise, when Creators deleted things and Error began to destroy them, Ink himself had difficulty protecting those AU's. They'd been washed out, faded, as though existence itself couldn't support them any longer... Of course, there were a few exceptions, such as Spectertale, but those had been created to be destroyed- their destructions were a direct part of another creation. 

The link between this universe and their Multiverse was truly simple, yet still inexplicable. 

"SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT I LOOK SEXY IN A SUIT. THANK YOU, HUMAN! I APPRECIATE THE GENUINE COMPLIMENT!"

They look away for one second and you're already flirting again. Stars dammit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huehuehue >w>


	25. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret Unlockable #2 has been acquired!

Ah, nighttime, that glorious time of day where darkness shrouds the world in majestic starlit beauty. It was always nice to gaze at the stars through the large windows in the kitchen- and it was what you were doing now, as you obtained a glass of water. 

Alas, all nice things must eventually be tainted somehow, and this lovely night was tainted by the sounds of scraping metal out in the backyard.

Naturally, the curious, curious being you were, you immediately grabbed a flashlight and opened up the back door, sauntering out with all the ~~insanity~~ confidence you possessed.

"Ayyyyy what's causing a ruckus all up in here?"

As you aimed the light across the back deck, the scraping noises abruptly stopped, and you saw the reason why just moments later.

"...normally I would accept my imminent death, but I've got babyblasters to take care of, soooooooooooo-"

You sprinted back the way you came, screeching like a madwoman, and heard the other take pursuit.

"heh, a bit _rude_ to run off without a proper introduction!"

The door was slammed shut in the face of Horrortale Sans, but this action was unfortunately futile, as he kicked it open just seconds later and continued the chase. You couldn't check to see if the door was damaged or not, as you were sprinting down the hallway for your life.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'M FAR TOO YOUNG TO DIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

You turned a sharp corner, entering the dining hall, and vaulted over the surface of the table with a form that had never graced your presence in gym class during hurdle jumps. It was amazing what adrenaline could do.

"ah, c'mon, i just wanna say hello! and goodbye!"

Horrortale Sans- let's call him Axe for now- stumbled a bit in a collision with the doorway, his large size making it difficult to turn at full sprint. This was possibly the only weakness you could exploit to continue surviving until someone came to help- holy fuck where even were they???

"WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING, I'M NOT BUYING!"

He made to run around the table, and you screeched again as you sprinted around the other way, keeping the table between the two of you as you ran through the doorway into the living room. The staircase upstairs was right there, but you couldn't go up there because of the babybones, so you continued forth with the murderous Sans hot on your trail.

"you won't hafta pay a cent! now... get back here!"

Over the couch, over the coffee table, over another couch you dove, still screaming.

"HOW _FUNKING_ DEEPLY DO SKELETONS SLEEP, I'VE BEEN SCREECHING FOR AT LEAST SEVERAL MINUTES NOW!!!"

You'd been censored. YES. YOU WERE SAVED!

...

...

...or maybe you weren't. Fresh was just standing there, watching the show from the staircase, before turning and going back upstairs. WHAT THE HECK, BRO?

"VIOLENT SANS ALERT, VIOLENT SANS ALERT, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!"

Axe chased you back into the hallway, and you accidentally turned left instead of right. Welp, back to the kitchen it was!

"hah! haven't had prey this fun since the human that escaped one of pap's traps without his arm."

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope-

"OKAY NO THANK YOU I AM NOT INTERESTED IN PURCHASING YOUR FREE DEAL FOR DEATH, BECAUSE FREE OFFERS ALWAYS HAVE SHIPPING AND HANDLING INCLUDED, AND I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR KIND OF HANDLING!"

As you ran back out the broken door, you heard a distant voice cursing in surprise, and turned towards the stairs of the back deck. The entire backyard was visible from the kitchen window- at least, up until the forest- so hopefully you'd be able to avoid the charging Axe long enough for someone to help.

...but, it wasn't exactly a point in your favor that you weren't used to physical activity.

"that's right kid, just run straight into the woods, and that'll make my job a lot easier!"

OKAY, NO.

You turned sharply at the gardening shed, running around the sides to make a loop back towards the house-

HOLY SHIT HE PREDICTED IT.

"SON OF A SEA TURTLE-"

You dove forward beneath his legs, no other option present with his axe to one side and an open hand to the other, and scrambled as quickly as possible to get up and continue running... but he sat on your spine, effectively pinning you down.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUPH-"

Your face was pressed into the dirt as he turned, your struggles doing nothing to the powerful and insane monster pressing one sharp patella into your back to keep you down. As he tangled a fist in your hair, you could hear him say one of your favorite lines... how ironic.

"heh, one head-dog, coming right up-"

Suddenly, his weight was ripped off of your prone form, and you pushed yourself up to see your savior.

It was Fuzz. Nice.

"There is always a bigger fish. Well said, Kenobi, well said, even if it was said in one of the prequel films."

The battle of the two large skeletons moved towards the woods, and with that settled, you stood up.

And promptly fell over as the adrenaline faded.

"Nice. I've always wanted to experience an adrenaline rush like that. Number sixteen on the bucket list has now been crossed off."

Sitting up against the shed, you began to tap your fingers together in a set rhythm, giving yourself something to focus on as several other skeletons approached from the broken back door. Blueberry was the first to reach you, checking over your lazily stretched out from for any injuries.

"I'm afraid it's too late, Blueberry dear. My pride has taken a critical blow, and I know not if it shall recover."

He found no serious injuries, but still frowned at the joke.

"YOU COULD'VE BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT! THANK GOODNESS FRESH WOKE US UP WHEN HE DID!"

Huh. So he didn't abandon you, he just got someone else to save you. That made sense.

"Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."

Having just arrived for the long and random vocalization, the UnderFell brothers looked at you with blank stares, and when the latter prepared to move after Axe and Fuzz, you promptly reached out and tugged the former two skeletons over to your sides.

"I'm changing your nicknames, cuz I'm an indecisive ass like that. Edge, your nickname is now Red, and Fell, your nickname is now Edge. I'm more used to calling you two Red and Edge anyways."

Through the power of technological wizardry and bullshit, the previous chapters of the story changed the nicknames of the two UnderFell skeletons to Red and Edge, as though they had never been any different. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT EXCITED. THANK OPTIMA FOR THE DOUBLE UPDATE.


	26. The Inevitable Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting occurs, and you finally reach your breaking point.

"Brosephs. My fine fresh wiggidy whack brotato chips. I require the sleep. If I'm awake much longer, I'm probably gonna act even more insane than I normally do."

They'd been keeping you up for _forever_...

"just... what even did you do to attract his attention?"

...asking questions about Horrortale Sans and Papyrus. The only skeletons not present were Ink, Edge, and Classic Sans; out exploring the woods for any sign of the two wildcards.

"I walked out the door and shone a flashlight in his face. Given that he has only one functional eyelight, that probably irritated him."

Sci facepalmed, creating a melodic clack of bone on bone.

"okay, we've got everything we can think of. let's just continue asking about horrortale later on. we can get the information from ink, error, and fresh just as well as our tired host. for now, let's decide what to do with the limbs axe left behind, and then get some rest."

You had an idea. A horrible, beautiful, terrible idea.

"I mean... skeletons can still feel their limbs when they're detached, according to the Handplates universe... Stimulation of some sort might entice him to return for them sooner rather than later, and then we can send the two back to their own universe."

With a flirtatious wiggle of your eyebrows, the group understood exactly what you meant by stimulation, and the sound of many facepalms made music in the room.

"THAT PROBABLY WON'T BE NECESSARY. STILL, WHY WOULD HE LEAVE BEHIND TWO OF HIS LIMBS? SURELY IT MUST FEEL WEIRD, AND MAYBE EVEN PAINFUL WITHOUT THEM."

You took the bony limbs in hand- heh- and examined them. One left arm; untangled from your hair as you'd recovered from that adrenaline-fueled sprinting. One left leg; spat out by Fuzz when he returned from giving chase.

Don't make the joke. 

Don't make the joke that will trigger the Papyrus equivalents. 

Just don't do it.

"Aw, don't worry Paps, I'm sure that Axe is _all right_ now."

I don't even know why I talk to you anymore. It's not like you ever listen to me, or even need to. I'm only the narrator. Nobody special.

"hah! he's gonna _need a hand_ from his bro to keep on the run!"

Look at what you've done. A pun war has started, it's all your fault, and you're enjoying it. I hope you enjoy cold spaghetti leftovers, cuz that's what you're getting to eat for breakfast tomorrow.

"PLEASE REFRAIN FROM THE PUNS. I GET ENOUGH OF THEM FROM MY BROTHER ALREADY."

After Red's contribution and Papyrus' plea, Geno leaned in slightly, his visible eyelight darting about the occupants of the table as his grin widened.

" _ulna_ stop, but only if you really think these jokes aren't _humerus_."

Honey joined in the fray, a grin of amused excitement upon his skull.

" _tibia_ honest, we should be focusing on the horrortale bros right now. the rage for puns can wait until later."

It was a massacre. The Papyrus type skeletons were practically... _seeing Red_.

"we better hope that axe can't drive. otherwise he may take a _carpal_ outta here."

You couldn't help but egg things on just a bit more, noticing the odd expressions upon the skulls of Classic Papyrus and Blueberry. The feeling that you were about to witness something beautiful grew within your gut.

"We'll have to search in a wide _radius_ to make sure he doesn't run amok for long!"

A gloved hand slammed upon the table silenced the conversation, and everyone's attention- that wasn't already focused- turned to Papyrus. You leaned forward slightly, eyes widening with anticipation as he slowly looked around at the other occupants of the room.

"I DON'T THINK AXE WILL GET VERY FAR. HE BARELY HAS A... _LEG TO STAND ON_."

Oh no. Blueberry looked like he was about to-

"AND THAT'S NO FIBULA!"

Welp. You were dead now. Time to get up from the table and send yourself to bed... if you could stop laughing, that is.

"DID WE BREAK THE HUMAN?"

Being a quivering ball of laughter made communication difficult, but you managed to give a thumbs up. Whether that meant you were okay or meant you were broken, nobody knew, but Fuzz went ahead and picked you up in his jaw to head back upstairs.

"Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hah, okay, I can breathe now! Oh, and I seem to have been abducted, so goodnight everyone!"

Amidst a chorus of farewells from the other skeletons, you went limp, allowing the largest Sans to carry you by the back of your vest without much difficulty. It was a pretty amusing sight to see- almost like a mama cat carrying her baby by the scruff of the neck- as he left the kitchen and sauntered upstairs to a large room that'd previously been used for storage. Now you could see that this was where he'd set up his nest, and judging by the way he blocked your path to the exit after setting you down, you figured that you'd be here a while.

And then, with a low huff sent in your direction, you remembered what the way he'd carried you meant. He was displeased with you... shit.

"Oh dang. I upset you, didn't I? What was it?"

Fuzz rolled his eyelights, and curled up along the outer edge of the nest. Yeah, you kinda forgot that he couldn't vocalize words there for a second. Time to play a guessing game!

"Err... was it the babyblasters? I'm sorry I hid them from you. They're just a bit too young to understand being taken in as a protective-slash-safe-slash-caring thing, and I didn't want them to panic."

He waved his paw dismissively. Perhaps that wasn't it? Wait, he didn't show any surprise... did he already know about them? How?

Or, more accurately, WHEN?

...

...you'd ask someone later.

"Okay, I'm not sure what it was then, other than me as a whole. I mean, I am who I am. Unfiltered, uncut, unedited me! Unless Fresh is nearby, then some of my words are edited. But otherwise, I'm my Usual Garbage Self."

The behemoth Sans looked a bit more displeased. You weren't doing good at this.

"Um. Was it going out to search for the source of the noise by myself? I'm rather impulsive, and as you've probably noticed, I don't have a proper sense of self-worth. So, I do dangerous things. Like. It's kinda to remind me that I'm still alive?"

As you spoke, your upbeat mood from the pun war began to fade, being replaced with an air of contemplation and unhappiness. But you couldn't really stop talking... you kept your problems to yourself far too often to let an opportunity like this pass by. Another impulsive action, it seemed.

"Being a recluse from society doesn't exactly do good things for ya, if ya know what I mean, but it's what I'm used to. I never really fit in with any of the groups at school when I still went. Like, I'm smart, but not smart enough. I'm talented, but not talented enough. I'm creative, but not creative enough. It's like the repetition type of psychological conditioning. If you're told something enough times, you start to believe it. And that's probably part of why I'm the fucked up mess I am- cuz humans seem to like breaking each other down."

It'd been a long day. Not getting enough sleep, visiting a creepily empty universe, being chased by a cannibalistic- _well, it wasn't exactly cannibalism when it was a different species_ \- a homicidal maniac. You were tired- no, you were exhausted. Despite the hyperactive, upbeat attitude you usually displayed, you were still only human, and you crashed at times just like everyone else.

This was a crash, and you knew it.

"So. Right there is a reason why I dislike my own species, and why I like Undertale so much. Monsters are better than humans, idealistic even. Their souls are made of love, hope, and compassion, and humanity needs that. Humans need those things to live more fulfilling lives- and that's psychologically proven in the whole Nature versus Nurture thing. But. How do we get those things when we've made our world such a _shiznit_ place to live?"

Welp. This conversation was being listened to by at least one other skeleton. There were probably others nearby, keeping quiet, but you didn't care right now.

"I mean, even now I'm not entirely certain that you're real. The chances are far greater that I've finally snapped, gone off the deep end, shoved off my rocker. Monsters are the ideal friends to have. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb- chosen friends that become like family. Especially you guys. I've wanted this. But is it real, or is it just fantasy? I already know that I'm crazy, so, you're probably not real. But. I don't..."

You were fidgeting, and finally, you stood up and looked out the window at the ground below.

"...I don't want this to end. Everyone being here... it's like validation and a perfect escape at the same time. I don't want you to leave, but I can't keep you from doing so if I want to stay anything close to my sense of self. Yet, I can't help but... wish you all won't leave."

Using his tail, Fuzz pulled you away from the window, but you dodged out of reach of his paws. You weren't quite done with this yet... There was more just bubbling up inside you, more that you had to say, otherwise you'd end up shoving it off to the side again and waiting for another breakdown.

"Is that a bad thing? I mean, it's essentially what Frisk does with all of those RESETs. What's the difference between this and that? I'm basically trying to keep you here for my own benefit. And that's if you're even real. If you're not real, if I'm in a padded cell or a coma or something, I'm still affecting others negatively because of hospital bills and falling reputations. What even is existence. I empathize with Undertale so much."

You didn't care if there were eavesdroppers at this point. Hearing you now would only prove that they needed to leave, needed to go home before you fucked them up like you were fucked up. They'd see that, right? They knew enough to save themselves, right?

"I understand Frisk because they don't want the good things to end. I understand Chara because the majority of humans are trash, with so few exceptions that it's hard to see them. I understand Alphys because I recognize that I myself am trash and others would disagree. I understand Undyne and Papyrus because I can't stand to see others losing hope, and I want to help."

The door slowly creaked open behind Fuzz.

"I understand Asgore because hard decisions must be made. I understand Asriel and Gaster because not everyone can be saved. I understand Toriel because I care too much, and it always hurts me in the end! I understand Flowey, because life sucks and then you DIE! I understand Sans, because _what_ is the point of living when everything will just stay the same aND NEVER GET ANY BETTER!?"

Your voice had slowly gotten higher and louder as you told them what you _understood_ about life, and by the time you'd finished, you were shouting. Realizing this, you returned to the window and gripped the edge to ground yourself, taking a few slow breaths to try and calm your shaking nerves.

"Sorry, sorry. Rambling again. I never did know when to stop."

Opening the window, you took in a deep breath of cold, nighttime air, shuddering slightly as the chill hit your skin. It calmed you, just a little bit, as the wind blew across the trees outside.

"That's kinda what I do. Not know when to stop. I push the limits as far as they can go, see just how much I can get away with, until they've been broken. Myself, others, things, ideas. I mean, I've been broken a long time. The odds are greater that my mind has finally shattered, than they are that this situation is real."

In the glass of the window, you could see the reflection of the other skeletons standing there, looking at you in silence. Oh, it seems like the search party trio has returned as well- not a single eligible love interest missed out on your breakdown, yay!

"Whoops. Looks like I got a little bit too real there! Sheesh, I'm supposed to be the comedic relief in this story, not the angsty main character that brings everyone else down with them."

Turning around with a wide, fragile smile, you made your way towards the door, moving through the stunned and silent skeletons in a way that would avoid any physical contact. However, it seemed that you would not escape this conversation unscathed, as you were pulled back into a rib-crushing hug between multiple Sanses and Papyruses.

"stars, i'm sorry... i'm so sorry..."

Geno was the quietest voice, but you still heard him, despite the Papyruses being rather loud in your ear. He was apologizing for the dream he had Nightmare give you, maybe? That seemed to be to most logical answer.

"That event is like the Void, breh. It uh..."

You paused, glancing over your shoulder at the bleeding Sans with wet eyes and a grin.

"...doesn't _matter_. I already forgave you."

Papyrus went silent, staring at you with narrowed eyesockets for a few seconds. You were prepared for unholy screeching, but then he surprised you.

"I'LL ALLOW THE PUNS FOR A DAY, HUMAN."

Wow. It seemed like UnderHell had frozen over.

"...so this is why you're as random as you are."

Sniffling a little, you went to clear your throat to respond.

"Well, yeah. Didn't I mention it before? I move until I finally trip up and faceplant in feelings. Behold, floor meet face."

A reassuring hand squeezed your shoulder, and you managed a small smile, despite your drooping eyelids. It'd been a long day.

"HMPH. WHILE THE REST OF YOU HALFWITS CONTINUE PHYSICALLY COMFORTING THE HUMAN, I SHALL MAKE SOME OF MY SPECIAL LASAGNA. BE GRATEFUL I DO THIS FOR YOU, HUMAN."

Aww, Edge caaaared! Even if it was in a tough love sort of way. And even if it was the middle of the night, when you should be sleeping...

EH, FUCK SLEEPING!

"Alrighty then, I guess I'll hang out in the pile of skeletons for a while. And don't worry boys, your bones are surprisingly comfortable~"

More than one facepalm followed that comment as they registered the flirting tone to your voice, but they didn't really seem to mind it that much. It meant a lot that they'd stuck around, and while you were somewhat worried that they'd treat you differently tomorrow, you could relax and soak in the lowercase love for a while. It was amazing how cuddles could make a situation ten times better than it were before.

Heh, maybe things could change for the better after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Hey, I'm gonna write this fluffy beautiful chapter with everyone caring about the reader and forming emotional bonds!
> 
> Angst: Knock knock... ;)
> 
> Me: Oh no-
> 
> Angst: aND ALL THE KIDS CRIED OUT
> 
> Me: plz staph ur scaring me ;-;


	27. A Recurring Theme, It Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're still awake, despite the best efforts of the now-mostly-snoozing skeletons around you. This is a good thing.

"So. That lasagna was somehow even more delicious than before, and I am officially energized!"

That last part was a lie, but still you jumped up from your position in the cuddle pile, determined to take action. Around you, the few skeletons that were still awake grumbled quietly at your sudden volume and movement, and you were promptly pulled back down into the pile.

"This is my fate. Drowning in skeletons. I accept this honourable end."

As you leaned back in the pile of dozing skeletons, you noticed the two babyblasters entering the room, rubbing their sockets slightly to see where they were going. The sight immediately had you making grabby hands towards them, and the two approached, scrambling over a sleeping Fuzz and a too-lazy-to-move Classic Sans to reach you. Your voice was softer when you next spoke, a small smile on your face at the realization that they deliberately sought you out.

"Wassup babybones? Have some nightmares?"

Kit nodded, a frown on his face as he regarded his shaking brother. Pup seemed too scared to speak... It must've been a bad one, and the biggest source of bad you knew of in their lives was...

"...was it about Gaster?"

Eyelights extinguished at the question, and you immediately squeezed the two closer to yourself, hoping to comfort them with your presence. Nearby, Classic Sans had given up his laziness just enough to prop up his head enough to see you, his eyelights regarding you with curiosity. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about younger versions of he and his brother from a 'bad' universe... but he was curious as to how you'd handle them. So far you seemed to be doing well.

"Hey, don't worry. He can't find you here, and even if he somehow does with the infinite possibilities of the Multiverse, you've got at least ten skeletons here to protect you, and me as well."

Pup's shaking seemed to soften a bit, and he made a quiet little noise of uncertainty, causing Kit to reach over and hug his brother tighter.

"Oh yeah, between you and me and the eavesdroppers that I _know_ are listening-"

Shuffling was heard as three skeletons turned away from your direction, confirming your suspicions.

"-these guys are tough. Lemme see... Why don't you point to a few skeletons here and I'll tell you why they can help protect you."

Looking somewhat doubtful, Kit immediately pointed to Sci.

_Go right for the throat, why don'tcha, kiddo?_

"While Sci is physically weaker than a lot of people here, his mind is fresher and sharper than theirs by a noticeable margin. He can whip up cool gadgets in minutes, formulate plans and theories in seconds, and he has the patience to deal with everyone's potential problems amongst each other."

After a slow nod, Kit looked over his brother, and hesitantly reached over to tap the boot of the nearby sleeping Papyrus. He was going for the hard ones early on, it seemed.

"Well, you weren't here when I mentioned it before, but..."

You glanced over with narrowed eyes, making sure Papyrus was _actually_ asleep before continuing on in a quieter voice.

"Papyrus is quite possibly one of the most powerful skeletons here. You see, his control over his magic is virtually unparalleled, as he had to be able to withdraw his attack in a moment's notice while training with Sans. He's got better magic control than the Queen of Monsters herself, and on top of that, he's able to use both cyan _and_ blue magic."

Pausing for a moment, listening to the silence in the room, you slowly lowered your guard with some measure of security. Papyrus was probably asleep. Probably. Most likely.

"Wh-what about the one with all the bright flashy colors and the sunglasses?"

You glanced down at Pup, smiling encouragingly at his hesitant inquiry, and noting the gradual lessening of his fear.

"Well, Fresh is a pacifist from what I can gather, despite how unsettling he acts. He strongly dislikes murder, and I doubt that he'd deliberately hurt you with us around. He has the teleportation and magic ability that most skeletons have, with his chosen body, and he can possess any body that has a soul. It's actually how he lives, jumping from soul to soul, forming an almost symbiotic relationship with his hosts. So if Gaster appears, he'd be able to teleport you away, and he'd be able to possess him if he so chose to."

Staring at you, the two babyblasters were calmer than before. Quietly, Kit snuggled in a little closer, resting the side of his skull on your right arm before speaking.

"What about the one with the giant paintbrush? Uh... Ink?"

You softly stroked the top of his skull in a soothing manner, eliciting a quiet and adorable purr from deep within his ribcage... so cute.

"Ink teleports differently than other typical Sanses, through a physical medium as opposed to the Void; water-based ink. Using his brush and ink, he can create many unique attacks and objects. For example, he could paint a wall to block an incoming attack, and he can paint wounds closed to heal them. Also if you want him to make you a cool outfit, you can ask him. He loves making outfits for people."

Pup, after hearing this, blinked a bit and stared at the sleeping skeleton... oh wait, Ink was one of the eavesdroppers. At least he nodded to confirm that last bit you'd said about him. It'd do the babyblasters some good to get clothes in their actual sizes.

"Okay... nyeh... What about the grumpy emo Sans?"

Oh my gosh. Who taught these two the word emo? You thought it was Classic Sans... but it also could've been Ink or Honey... the possibilities were real.

"Red? Yeah, Red is definitely a powerful dude. I'm not sure how his power compares to that of Classic Sans, what with his level of violence and the strength differences between universes, but he could certainly destroy a small town in a few hits if he gets angry enough. Monsters in his universe have to fight to survive, so they're naturally stronger than monsters left to complacency. But lemme tell you a little secret..."

You glanced towards Red to make certain he was asleep before continuing... eh, he looked asleep enough.

"Red actually loves kids. I've seen the peaceful way he looks at you two, so I'm not speaking from sheer theory. If anyone tries to hurt you two, you can bet that he'll be one of the first people to get up and fight for you, no matter how lazy or rude he seems."

Kit was half asleep where he sat, his skull drooping as he continued to purr softly. Gently rearranging him so he was lying down with his head in your lap, you continued to pet his skull, lulling the smol Sans closer to a peaceful sleep.

"What about... hmmm... the active Sans with the blue bandana and boots and gloves?"

You smiled, watching as Pup yawned softly and rested his skull on your left arm.

"Blueberry is an interesting one. With the overwhelming strength of a Sans and the sheer magic control of a Papyrus, he's definitely a force to be reckoned with. Few people can understand who he is as an individual,  
_especially_ alternate versions of him and his bro... but he fully lives up to his self-proclaimed title despite the odds against him. He's also very intelligent in a unique way, a special blend between the typical Sans and Papyrus... emotive, yet precise."

Noticing that both babyblasters had closed their eyesockets and relaxed, you grinned to yourself and leaned back into the body armor of the sleeping skeleton behind you, moving the children so they were comfortably laid out alongside you and the other skeletons. Unfortunately, they still seemed a little restless...

"Well now, you two are almost asleep, aren't you? What's keeping you awake, hmm?"

Without even opening his eyesockets, Kit responded with a quiet voice.

"...'S too quiet..."

...you could fix that. It was an idea that was somewhat overused in stories, but hey, why not go through with it? Let's jump on the metaphorical bandwagon!

You had the perfect song in mind, too, from the time you sang in high school.

Shifting slightly so your lungs weren't cramped and you could take deeper breaths, you straightened out your posture, making sure that you weren't pressing too roughly into the surrounding skeletons. Slight nervousness appeared as you considered the possibility of all the skeletons actually hearing you, but this was fortunately pushed down fairly easily. If you believed they were asleep, even if they weren't, it'd be just that much easier to perform.

"You babybones ready?"

They nodded, leaning into your hold and opening their eyesockets to gaze at you. Hello again, performance anxiety, you can leave now. Kids don't judge harshly, except when ya deserve it.

"Right, here we go..."

You cleared your throat- HEY, that was NOT STALLING- and began to sing [an old lullaby originating from Ireland](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xbGuXZKcn8).

_"Oh hush thee my dove,_  
_Oh hush thee my rowan,_  
_Oh hush thee my lap-wing_  
_My little brown bird..."_

With repetition came smoother performance, and more confidence.

_"Oh hush thee my dove,_  
_Oh hush thee my rowan,_  
_Oh hush thee my lap-wing_  
_My little brown bird..."_

You took a deep breath, increasing the volume of your voice for the next part.

 _"Oh fold thy wings and seek thy nest now,_  
_Oh shine the berry on the bright tree!_  
_The bird is home from the mountain and valley-"_

Quiet now, almost a whisper-

_"Oh horo hi ri ri_  
_Cadul gu lo,_  
_Oh horo hi ri ri_  
_Cadul gu lo."_

It was a short little lullaby, but you'd always thought it was pretty. All that was left was a repetition of the previous two stanzas, and it was done.

_"Oh fold thy wings and seek thy nest now,_  
_Oh shine the berry on the bright tree!_  
_The bird is home from the mountain and valley-"_

Even quieter than before, you finished off the song smoothly.

_"Oh horo hi ri ri_  
_Cadul gu lo,_  
_Oh horo hi ri ri_  
_Cadul gu lo..."_

...

...

...

Welp, the babyblasters were asleep. Did you dare check to see if the other skeletons were asleep as well, or would you allow yourself to remain in blissful ignorance?

RESIST THE URGE TO LOOK.

RESIST THE CURIOSITY.

...you're not good at resisting your curiosity, are you?

For your troubles in peering at the nearby skeletons, they fortunately seemed to be fast asleep as well, even the confirmed eavesdroppers. Maybe you'd put them to sleep along with the babybones? Either way, you needed some sleep yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20mL of Fluff, STAT.


	28. CAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CAT. FLUFFY. FLUFF. TAKE IT ALL.

Cold spaghetti.

You ate it willingly, despite much preferring it warmed up, as a self-induced punishment for your reckless actions the day before. And then, while lounging upon the couch and watching the others play video games, you heard the meowing.

Your attention instantly sharpened.

"Cat."

Beside you on the couch, Sans and Honey paused their game and listened, but nothing occurred.

"uh... i don't hear one?"

It was too late- you were already standing and on the prowl, crouched slightly as you snuck over to the back door. With a shrug, the two skeletons returned to their game, leaving you to be watched and followed by Geno.

"...There is a cat somewhere nearby, I fucking swear to Ditty."

Glancing outside, you saw nothing, and went over to the hallway closet. Pulling the door open, you pushed aside the cleaning supplies and pulled out a large bag of cat food; half empty, with a handwritten label written upon it in sharpie declaring it to be food for stray cats. Beside it was a bag of dog food labeled similarly, but it was practically untouched in comparison, due to there being substantially fewer stray dogs in the area.

Taking the bag into the kitchen, you grabbed a plastic bowl and scooped out some of the food, clipping the bag closed again when done. Geno watched this with a curious expression, remaining quiet as you took the bowl outside and set it down underneath one of the seats on the back deck. The slightly enclosed space would likely appeal to the feline, wherever they were, and you'd be able to sit out nearby to coax them forth when they approached.

* * *

_"Mrow?"_

The cat was a small one, its large paws and ears indicating that it was closer to being a kitten, and its fur was a lovely pitch black. It glanced around cautiously as it approached the bowl, and you remained still, blinking slowly when it looked at you...

SUCCESS. It started eating, and slowly, you held out your hand with your fingers unthreateningly downwards.

"Heeeeeeere kitty-kitty..."

In the kitchen, Edge noticed the bag of cat food out and frowned, looking out the window until he spotted you in the ridiculous position of trying to entice a small furry creature to approach your larger and thereby more threatening form. Anything with a sense of self preservation would avoid such an obvious potential predator-

"WHAT THE FUCK."

You were actually petting the cat as it finished eating. And it was letting you pick it up to check its gender. Aaaaaand now you were bringing it inside, with Geno following quietly behind.

"Kitty kitty is so sweet and adorable, yes she is, yes she iiiis~"

Evidently the feline was female. Perhaps you'd be able to bond with the creature and make a loyal companion out of it, as Edge had done with Doomfanger. Such a thing wasn't that unreasonable, if you were able to entice a feral cat into your arms so easily.

"heh, what're ya gonna name her?"

You carried the cat carefully into the house, a pleased expression upon your face.

"I've only had her for two minutes, and I already can't decide between Princess Pepperdoodle Blossom Von Yum-Yum, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, Bastet, Jashin, or a pun name like Catsup or something. I am open to suggestions as well."

Edge opened his mouth to aggressively shut down the pun name suggestion, but it seemed that Geno liked it enough to cut him off.

"nah, catsup is a _punderful_ name. i could _parsley_ think of a better one myself."

"GENO, NO."

"geno, _yes_."

Edge turned to where you had been just moments before, and paused, because you were no longer there. In fact, you were no longer in the room at all...

"WHERE THE FUCK DID THE HUMAN GO?"

* * *

"Hey Error. Whatcha doin'?"

The glitched skeleton was in an empty room, away from the other skeletons. With his sockets closed, it looked almost like he was sleeping, but the tilt of his skull as you spoke and the movement of his hands indicated otherwise. He was...

"wh̢͟͢a̴t ̴͜͠do̵͡͏e̶̛s ͜i͟͏̵t l̢͏͏o҉ơ̵̶k̷͞ ͘͜͠l̵͘͞i͞k̛e̶͞,̸̷ ̧s҉̕t͜ư̸̧pi̸̵͝d͟?̛͠"

...knitting with his strings.

Strange, his red-rimmed glasses looked better in person than they did on the comic page.

You wanted to take a picture of it, for future artistic reference, but alas, your phone was busy charging itself up.

"It looks like you're doing something I wish I could do but never have been able to get the hang of. I can kinda crochet, like a row or two, but I keep forgetting how to crochet multiple rows. And knitting is like a step up from that in terms of difficulty. I just use my knitting needles to make chopstick buns if my hair is long enough at the time."

This caused the glitched skeleton to glance up at you with a raised brow ridge, almost as though he doubted that you'd be envious of something he could do. Using this opportunity, you held up the relatively docile cat in your arms, a wide grin splitting across your face as you did so.

"Look at her, isn't she adorable? I found her outside, and I dunno what to name her, so I decided to ask you!"

The room fell silent, Error peering between you and the feline with some measure of disbelief. Of all the skeletons available to you, why ask _him_? It wasn't like he was one of the popular skeletons with admired roles in the resumes of their existences; on the contrary, the voices had told him that he was one of the most hated beings in the Multiverse. He _destroyed_ things, he didn't create them... asking him to name the cat was basically asking him to create an identity for it.

Yet somehow, a small part of him felt smug that you came to him instead of that idiotic Protector, even if it was something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Coming to Error for this was denying the rainbow-barf nutjob of a thing he loved to do... so he supposed that he could let it slide this time.

"eh͜.͝.͞. n͜ame̷͏ ţh̛e҉ t̢h͜in̶̡͏g҉͠ v̛͠ǫį͘d̡̛͠."

The cat's fur was pretty much as dark as the dimension itself was. And hey, nobody had said he was a creative skeleton.

"Alright, thanks Error!"

You blew him an air-kiss, knowing that he didn't want to be touched when he wasn't drunk, and sauntered off out of the room, closing the door behind you.

It took the skeleton a few moments to notice that you'd left the cat behind with him, and he stared at it, watching the thing explore its new environment. The feline, Void, sniffed along the walls of the empty room around him, before padding over and climbing directly into his bony lap. Naturally, he stiffened- contact with another living creature, he'd just, _he'd just screw it up like everything else_ \- but the cat didn't react much other than to begin... purring? It... liked him?

With a careful glance around him, aimed at the windows and the closed door, Error made sure that nobody was watching him before he began to carefully pet the female feline.

* * *

As you made your way to your bedroom, going to grab some fresh clothes, you found Red looking through your underwear drawer... again. Hadn't he done that the first day the skeletons had all arrived? It made you wonder if he was stashing drugs there or something... or maybe _you'd_ been stashing drugs there or something... probably a jar of nutella, or some cake frosting, or something else of the chocolate persuasion. Chocolate was fucking beast- Chara had the right idea there.

"Sup Red, find any sexy lingerie in there yet?"

The skeleton started slightly, not having heard you come in, and stared back at you with narrowed eyesockets.

"...no. yer taste is nowhere near sexy. just looks like a bunch of comfortable crap and a few cute things blueberry would like."

Having expected such an assessment, you shrugged, and took out an Undertaker t-shirt and some black jeans. As you did so, Red eyed you curiously, his eyelights going between the clothes in your hands and the clothes you wore now... The difference was that the new clothes were suitable for leaving your own property. Were you going somewhere or some shit? To another universe or something? Sci hadn't said anything about more universe visits.

"goin' somewhere?"

You nodded, a slight grin of devious nature forming upon your face as you thought of how you'd left the cat with Error.

"Yep. Gonna go shopping for cat supplies. Ask your brother and Geno about it- they saw me bring her in. They should be in the kitchen." 

"a cat?"

"Named her Void. She's a beauty, and in surprisingly healthy condition for a stray. Probably wandering around the house somewhere. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get dressed. Cya~"

With that, you picked up your converse and left the bedroom, going off to get changed in the bathroom. Cat supplies would fuck with your budget a little, but you'd be able to get around it. Especially with the alternate universes full of infinite supplies due to RESETs... yay! Loopholes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Now Error has a cat. I wonder if this'll be useful in any way?


	29. [ACT] *Get Flirted On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH NO, HE'S HOOOOOOOT!

_"You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone was dead. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him... Sans the Skeleton. Sans, why the fuck are you so creepy as your introduction?"_

Somehow, the group of skeletons had ended up with your tablet, and were watching reaction vines of Undertale playthroughs to see what other members of the fandom thought of the classic universe. So far, they seemed to be rather amused by it, and you were able to leave your tablet in their magic skeletal hands just long enough to get a snack from the kitchen.

Trust levels. They were rising.

As you wandered back to the living room with the curious skeletons, you heard the maniacal laughter meme being played, and snorted quietly to yourself. That was such an old meme... what Undertale animation could it be playing to?

With the large bowl of popato chisps ready for consumption, you approached the couch and sat down between Ink and Blueberry, leaning slightly over the former's lap to get a clear view of the screen.

Oh.

_Oh stars no._

..........

........................

...............

Sans, from his seat on the other side of Ink, glanced several times between the tablet in his hands and you.

"...uhhhh. do i want to know which universe this sans is from?"

You peered at the screen through your fingers as the video went on, not quite wanting to laugh along, but being very tempted to.

"Oh, that's... Dusttale Sans, though I often nickname him Dusty. Sometimes he's called Killer or Murder Sans, although Murder Sans is actually from another AU. Anyways, Dusty is one of the few Alternate Universe skeletons that actively remembers RESETs in his universe, and his human happened to really like Genocide Timelines. Everyone died in increasingly horrible ways, nobody excluded, and with Dusty being the third to last one on the death list... you can probably figure out what happened next."

They seemed uncomfortable, and when the video went to repeat, Sans stopped it and closed the tab. As though by chance or fate, the previously opened tab happened to be for one of your favorite fanfictions, detailing some... interesting activities.

"aaaand what's this?"

A mouthful of chisps was devoured to buy you time. Hopefully your cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"...nothing. Nothing at all. Certainly not skeleton porn. And nobody dies whatsoever. There is no death. There is no comfort-smut. None at all. Move along, these aren't the droids you're looking for."

Excellent answer. There was only one problem- _it was complete bullshit_.

"There's literally a picture on the top of the page of Red with a long glowing tongue and some extra appendages not generally used for-"

"OH WOULD YA LOOK AT THE TIME, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GET A WATCH SO I HAVE EXCUSES TO GO OTHER PLACES."

You leapt up from your seat between Blueberry and Ink, singing nonsense as you fled the room. Of course, a moment later, you returned for your tablet and promptly swooped in for the kill, balancing over the coffee table with an awkwardly graceful pose as you snagged the device from Sans' phalanges and went back to fleeing the room.

"YADADADAAAAAAAH~ Y'ALL NOT SEEING DEEZ SINZ TODAAAAAY~"

The laughter video somehow started playing again as you successfully escaped, and your internal screeching became external.  
"I NEED HOLY WATER AND A BIBLE OF SOME SORT. SOMEONE GET ME STRING THEORY! Wait, no, that universe has sin too."

Behind you, Ink began to snicker, the asexual skeleton finding great amusement in your flustered behavior. When he saw someone approaching from the next room over, that snickering became full blown laughter...

"did somebody say sin? cuz sugar, i am totally down for some of that."

Oh no.

That suave pose.

Those vibrant, heart-shaped eyelights beneath a half-lidded gaze.

That low, seductive baritone that slid into your earholes like a stream flowing through the quiet woods.

"fuckfuckfuckFuckFUCK-"

...it was UnderLust Sans.

"I CAN FEEL MY SINS CRAWLING ON MY BACK!"

The sexy skeleton was abruptly behind you, and with one of his arms suddenly around your waist, you were unable to immediately avoid the phalanges he walked up your spine. The shiver you felt wasn't from the temperature, that was certain.

"don't you mean you feel your _sans_ crawling up your back?"

Nosebleed, activated. There was nothing the other skeletons could do but watch on as their lustful counterpart put on all the moves that they were too hesitant to do themselves.

"Aahh. This is literally the first time I've met you in person, and while I've certainly appreciated your existence through various forms of media entertainment, I'm not quite certain I'm ready for what you're offering?"

As the skeleton holding you leaned around to look at your red face, you saw that seductive smirk and half-lidded gaze again, and inhaled sharply. When did he even get here? _How_ did he get here? _Why hadn't anyone told you about his presence_?

AND OH NO, HE'S HOOOOOOOOT!

Well, at least he had morals, despite how he was often portrayed. Consent was important to him, and you hadn't quite given yours yet. Hopefully he'd be able to change your mind sooner rather than later, though... it'd be difficult to resist that scrumptious hesitation from you for long.

"you'll be _hard-pressed_ to find anyone better than me at 'this sort of thing,' sugar. call me when you're... more _open_ for my advances."

Lust slid a small slip of paper into your pocket, kissed your cheek, and released you, going around to introduce himself to his alternates. The buzz of magic from the unexpected kiss tingled on your skin as you fled the downstairs entirely, retreating up to the safety of your room. You were not ready for today.

After the skeletons watched your retreat, their gazes turned to UnderLust Sans, an array of indescribable emotions flitting across their skulls... except for Ink, of course. He was still laughing off to the side, sending a thumbs up to the newly arrived skeleton. It seemed as though he had finally performed a prank that couldn't backfire upon him.

"INK, I TAKE IT YOU KNOW THIS INAPPROPRIATE COUNTERPART OF OURS?"

Wait.

Blueberry had been present for the entire thing.

And Blueberry wasn't one to simply let something like this slide by without consequences...

 _Shit_.


	30. YOU ARE ANGER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then some surprise philosophy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this chapter done for over a week and I wanted to update Tales of Evolution before this, but I couldn't focus on that and decided to stop makin' y'all wait xD

"Do not. I'm warning you, _Do Not Fucking_ -"

You froze midsentence, and took a deep breath for the sake of your rapidly dwindling self control.

"This is fine. This is absolutely fine. There is nothing wrong here. There is nothing FUCKING wrong here."

Salem Town, that one game you'd shown the skeletons in hopes of having party buddies, had decided to plague you with random crashes. And naturally, it decided to crash whenever you were about to win with the other Townies or Mafia or Neutral players.

Let's just say, you were about ready to take the Serial Killer role to the metagaming level.

Buuuuuut, you were also a Pacifist at heart, so you needed to find other versions of anger management. Violence had never really been an outlet you'd taken for stress relief- thrown water bottles were the worst physical display you'd shown when angry- due to the fact that you didn't often find yourself _truly angry_...

Now, unfortunately, you were angry. You had entered a state of mind commonly known as the Gamer's Rage, and oh boy, was this one a doozy.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT, HUMAN? YOU CAN PLAY WITH MY PHONE IF YOU WANT TO."

_THUMP._

You took a leaf from Papyrus' own notebook and dove out the window, nailing the landing with a perfect 10 out of 10 faceplant, and got up to continue your diving antics straight off the edge of the deck.

"I'LL BE BACK WHEN I'M DONE SCREAMING INTO THE VOID OF NOTHINGNESS THAT IS THE COLLECTIVE DEATH OF MY HOPES AND DREAMS."

As the skeletons watched you sprint off into the woods, indeed screaming your head off, they began to wonder about your sanity once again...

* * *

Hours later, you returned, still screaming angrily and... now dragging the partially dismembered body of Axe behind you?

What the fuck?

"I'M JUST SO FUCKING MAD!"

Axe, for being such a formidable skeleton of an even more formidable universe, looked fairly terrified as he flailed and dragged at the ground with his one arm.

"a'right! i get it! what the fuck, kid!? just lemme go! f-fuck!"

As you dragged him over a rock, his eyelights flickered out and his body went limp. It seemed you had unintentionally bludgeoned him into unconsciousness, but you didn't notice as you abruptly twisted to sling him around your waist, your free arm coming up to hold him steady as you carried him up the stairs of the back deck and into the house.

"I HAVE ACQUIRED AN AXE. NOW TO FIND SOME JAWS."

Inside, staring blankly at the doorway you'd burst through with an unconscious skeleton in your arms, Geno and Red remained silent as Honey asked the question they were all thinking.

"who's jaws?"

Tossing the unconscious Axe onto the couch and releasing another insane war cry, you sprinted out into the backyard again, answering as you vanished into the trees once more.

"THE HORRORTALE PAPYRUS, THAT'S WHOOOOO!"

Humans really had too much determination when they were fueled by volatile emotions.

* * *

It was nightfall. You'd been gone once again for hours, and the skeletons were beginning to feel concerned. Papyrus types were the ones who set traps, after all, and you were directly going after one in his newly found territory. That probably meant he didn't have many traps up, but still- even one trap built by a skeleton was a threat of its own.

Lust, having gotten used to the house in astoundingly short time, was currently trying to seduce Error... who ignored him completely in favor of the cat. Alas, poor Lust, he was forced to move to another potential lover. He'd been uh, 'asleep' during your earlier displays of anger, so he had no idea where you had gone, merely that he was being left unsupervised in a house full of alternate versions of himself.

But before anything more was to be done, he wanted to find you. This was why he left the room with the others and began to explore, seeking you out in the various rooms of the house.

Bedrooms? Empty.

Bathrooms? Okay whoa Edge calm down CALM DOWN-

Living room? Only skeletons here. Cute skeletons, but not what he was looking for.

Dining room? Empty.

Kitchen? Also empty, but what was that in the backyard...?

................

"True, I understand that capturing humans is a necessity in your universe. Everyone needs to eat, and while there are better ways to go about things- such as agricultural studies- setting up traps and puzzles are a logical thing to do."

You were... casually discussing an alternate universe with a large and rather formidable-looking Papyrus beside you. A Papyrus covered in blood, some of which looked fresh.

Lust felt like he was going to be sick.

"PRECISELY! I'M HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND! SNOWDIN RELIES UPON MY BROTHER AND I TO PROVIDE FOOD, DUE TO... UM..."

"Undyne being less than friendly?"

"...YES. SHE PUT THAT HOLE IN SANS' SKULL, HUMAN. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'D DO THAT, BUT AFTER SHE DID, HE CHANGED. ONE OF HIS BOOKS SAID IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE HEAD TRAUMA... I WISH HE HADN'T GONE TO SEE HER THAT DAY."

Lust began to feel as though he was intruding on a private conversation, and frowned to himself, contemplating whether he should leave or not as another skeleton- Sci- entered the room. The nerdy skeleton was apparently here to retrieve Axe's loose limbs from the table, but upon seeing you conversing with Jaws, he paused to listen as well.

"People can do questionable things to look after those they love. As situations change, people are forced to change with them, and whether they change for the better or worse is up to them."

Now the two of you were ascending the stairs of the back deck, and not wanting to end this conversation just yet, you gestured to one of the bench seats nearby. The Horrortale Papyrus took the offer and seated himself, watching you attentively as you sat close by beside him.

"Lemme try to explain this... Sometimes, you're faced with impossible choices. There's an old scenario among humans regarding the value of a life, allow me to pose it to you."

"POSE AWAY!"

"So, you're standing in a room with two buttons. There's no way out of the room, and over a speaker nearby, you hear a voice telling you what the buttons are for. If you press the button on the left, your brother will die. If you press the button on the right, ten random strangers will die. You have to press one of the buttons- if you don't, all of them will die. No matter what you do, someone is going to die. So, who do you choose to save, and who do you choose to kill?"

The listening skeletons were silent as they watched the Papyrus think it through...

"I... NO MATTER WHAT I DO, AT LEAST ONE PERSON WILL DIE, CORRECT?"

You nodded, and leaned back in your seat.

"THEN I CHOOSE TO TAKE THE PLACE OF MY BROTHER, AND HAVE MYSELF DIE."

So selfless, he is. But that's not the point of this lesson.

"I expected something like that, and I'm sorry to say, killing yourself isn't an option. You only have those two options- your brother or ten random strangers- and you'll have to live with your choice. Think about it carefully."

As the skeleton beside you visibly concentrated, you spoke aloud your thoughts on the situation posed to him.

"On the one hand, you could kill your brother, the one person you care about most in the world. You would be left alone, but the ten random strangers are free to continue their lives. Perhaps they ascend to great heights and create cures for all sorts of diseases, but also, perhaps they live out the rest of their lives begging on the streets in pain and misery. You don't know them, but you know that ten lives are greater than one life."

Inside, Geno entered the kitchen, and listened along with Lust and Sci.

"On the other hand, you could kill those ten random strangers, those people you don't know and never would meet again anyways. Your brother would be by your side, but would you deserve it? You just had ten people killed, after all. To you, he's worth it, but do you truly deserve him anymore? Those people will never come back. Your soul is permanently stained with their deaths."

Geno began to feel uncomfortable, and left the room, only to be nudged back in by Honey as he entered.

"So which would you choose? Ten or one? Logic or emotion? Both choices are bad ones, but this is the situation you've found yourself in. You need to make a decision, quick, before _everyone_ dies. Tick tock."

Jaws, appearing quite upset, slowly nodded. He didn't answer, but he didn't need to- he understood the point that you were making.

"I SEE... BY HAVING US HUNT HUMANS FOR FOOD, UNDYNE CHOSE EMOTIONALLY. SHE CHOSE TO SAVE THOSE RELYING ON HER, IN FAVOR AGAINST THE RANDOM STRANGERS. SHE WANTED US TO LIVE INSTEAD OF THE BEINGS SHE HAD NEVER KNOWN AND WOULD NEVER KNOW. BUT... WHY DID SHE HAVE TO HURT SANS?"

Opening your arms, the distraught skeleton was quick to accept the hug, leaning into your chest.

"Knowing your brother, he likely acted with the true impartiality of a Judge. Sure, he never really liked humans, but they were living beings too. They had their own lives, their own families waiting to see them again, and he knows how he'd react if you were suddenly ripped from his life. A person is more than just the sum of their parts, and it was only their parts that they were being killed for. Even worse, Undyne was forcing you to go along with it too... and that gave him the boost he needed to try convincing her to do something else."

You gently pet the skeleton's skull, a repetitive and soothing motion that had him slowly relaxing.

"But you know how determined Undyne is. Once she makes a decision, she follows through with it- unless someone stronger than her knocks some sense into her. Sans couldn't knock that sense into her, so he got the sense knocked out of him instead. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Jaws sighed once, and released you, bringing himself up to a standing position. Offering a gloved hand, he helped you up as well, that help understandably needed now that the skeletons could see the painful gash upon your leg. Some sort of cloth tied above it prevented it from bleeding more than it was... a tourniquet.

I SUPPOSE IT IS FORTUNATE THAT MY BROTHER AND I ARE NO LONGER IN OUR UNIVERSE... BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE MONSTERS RELYING UPON US? THEY NEED US TO GET THEM FOOD, AND WE DON'T HAVE THAT HYPOTHETICAL AGRICULTURE DEPARTMENT YOU MENTIONED. IF WE DON'T RETURN WITH FOOD, AT LEAST SOME OF THEM WILL PERISH."

Entering the house, you peered around to find the nearby rooms completely empty, and smiled slightly.

"Either assistance from other universes could be sought, or if that isn't a possibility, I could suggest better traps to use. Those old bear traps are... unnecessarily cruel. Humans have enjoyed hunting wild animals for so many centuries now that we've developed more peaceful ways to capture our prey. Instant kills are preferred by most hunters and trappers these days."

As you entered the living room, Honey, Sci, and Lust were already preparing to tend to your leg wound, and you winked at the Papyrus covered in your blood.

"Just try not to use those traps on me again, m'kay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you get cut by one of those old bear traps, head to the hospital. Rusted metal carries a lot of dangerous bacteria on it and who knows what else could be on it with all of that exposure to the elements.


	31. These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope. No robots here. I don't know what you're talking about.

The sound of a car horn honking outside your house alerted you to the presence of a visitor, and as the skeletons around you froze, you quickly checked the date.

"Shit, I forgot. Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide yourselves! The kraken- he cometh!"

In a flurry of action, you picked up a Sans in each arm- Sci and Blueberry, to be precise- and sprinted upstairs to throw them into the room Fuzz had claimed.

"I'm sorry Fuzz, but you're gonna have visitors cuz y'all gotta hide in here. My bro isn't into Undertale like I am, but he knows a good bit about it from my many attempts to drag him into fandom hell, so he'll probably recognize the more popular ones among you. Y'know, Undertale, UnderSwap, UnderFell; the holy trinity of AU's. FellSwap and SwapFell are different from each other and everyone always gets confused between the two because of names and designs, but I pride myself in knowing the difference. Anyways, hide here and don't come out until I leave. The windows of the upstairs have those one way mirror things on them so you can see out and people outside can't see in, so you can look out for our leaving. I love that stuff."

Realizing the implications of being discovered by the fandom, the skeletons who you hadn't picked up were quick to follow, even Axe and Jaws. Those two were adjusting surprisingly well over the past so many days, and although that might've been because you were helping supply their universe with food, you felt that Axe might be slightly intimidated by you.

Hopefully that wasn't the case. You wanted to cuddle the big skeleton sometime- he looked like he'd be comfortable, if one ignored the sharpness of his bones. At least Jaws let you cuddle him.

"so wait, who's out there waitin' for ya? i was kinda under the impression that you were a hermit of some sort."

Honey followed you, helping round up the more elusive skeletons like Error and Ink, and keeping an eye on your rushing form.

"Right, I pretty much am a hermit at this point, but that's cuz I don't have IRL friends who wanna be seen with me. I'm the crazy one that people call if there's an emergency and someone needs fun times to destress, or the wise one that people contact for dating advice even though I literally have never dated a dude IRL and had it turn out well. I'm this weird outcast that never fit in anywhere basically, and all my fucks about that pretty much flew away in ninth grade when I got depressed and stopped giving a shit about life, so yeah. Also I'm incredibly lazy, like I can only aspire to be Papyrus levels of true self-confidence, and my bro is one of the few people who get me outta the house every so often. Am I rambling? I'm rambling. I need to get dressed. LUST, I REQUIRE FASHION ADVICE!"

Lust Sans poked his head out from behind the doorway to your room, a thumbs up sent your way.

"already on it, sugar. you want comfy casual or sexy casual?"

You guided an intrigued Red and Edge into the room, Honey guiding the BabyBlasters in behind them, and answered with one finger held up to indicate the first option.

"shorts, a napstablook t-shirt, and a vest with deep-ass pockets coming right up."

Would you smooch a ghost? 

**Heck. Yeah.**

You caught the clothes tossed to you and darted into the nearby bathroom, noticing several alterations- _what had Edge even done to your shower?_ \- to get changed out of your pajamas. Then, after running around to grab your shoes, you finally made your way to the door and yelled a farewell to the skeletons hiding upstairs. With that, you ran off out to your bro's car, and set off for a day on the town.

* * *

The door suddenly slammed open, and maniacal laughter echoed through the house. In you burst, with ten shopping bags of food on each arm and one of those beer hats with straws leading to your mouth- instead of beer, however, there were two cans of the Starsrock energy drink.

Oh dear.

"I DON'T REMEMBER BEING AFFECTED BY CAFFEINE THIS MUCH, BUT I AM VERY _FUNK_ ING HYPER RIGHT NOW- HI FRESH- AND OH BOY I FEEL LIKE BLUEBERRY ON A SUGAR RUSH."

Your brother entered the house a few minutes behind you, a blank expression on his face as he regarded you yelling randomly... He was supposed to have stayed in the car, but he wasn't going to let you take all those bags in yourself- he had maybe three bags on each arm, the remainder of your stuff. You had the 'get all the bags in one trip or die trying' sort of trait, it seemed, but ten was the limit for your noodle arms.

And then, he saw something he shouldn't have.

There was a skeleton peeking out from behind a doorway nearby, and as soon as he was spotted by your bro, an 'oh shit' expression appeared on his skull.

"Sib... please tell me you didn't start building monster robots again..."

You paused, and slowly turned to see your brother in the kitchen with you, staring into the pantry where Classic Sans stood with a bottle of ketchup in hand.

Of course it was for ketchup. Of course.

"...nooooooo?"

Your brother looked at you, his expression somewhat amused.

"I am convinced. That hesitation and that tone of voice completely convinces me, sib. Just, wow. Are you getting lonely? Do I need to visit more often? You should really be using your expertise for things other than fandom stuff."

You glanced left and right, and swiftly turned around again to put a bunch of yogurt and energy drinks into the fridge. The thirty chocolate bars and three bags of peanut butter cups had already been stored away into your vest- that thing was better than a purse in terms of black hole storage.

"Okay. I may or may not have gotten carried away in fandom things, but you know how much I love Undertale. It's like, life bro. Undertale is love, Undertale is life. So what if I made a robot or two?"

Hey, if he thought you made robots again, why protest? It'd be safer for the skeletons if he didn't know they were real-

"You're a horrible liar, you know that, right?"

Wow. Straight for the heart, bro.

"UM. I AM A FABULOUS LIAR, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW. I ONLY LOOK LIKE I'M LYING ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT'S A LOVELY COVER FOR WHEN I ACTUALLY LIE."

He gave you a knowing look, and patted your head.

"Yeah, okay sib. Whatever you say."

Dammit, why was your little brother taller than you? You understood Sans a little bit more every time that reminder came to the forefront of your thoughts.

"Hey, I am the big sib. I pat your head. You no pat mine."

This declaration initiated a staring contest, and without looking away, you slowly got a chair and climbed up onto it. Slowly, your hand reached forth and did the Older Sibling Head Pat™, and the two of you burst out laughing.

"Much stare, very pat, wow."

By this time, more skeletons had appeared in the doorways nearby, and were peeking out at you and your brother. Hopefully they caught onto the sign language that Sans was sending them, but the way they were sizing up your bro made it seem like they were ignoring it... shit, were they getting protective? Awww...

"what a hottie."

OKAY LUST, WOW.

You quickly grabbed a spray bottle of water from beneath the sink and spritzed the lustful skeleton, ignoring his comment about 'getting wet' for you, out of righteous sibling protection.

"Bad Lust. Bad. Go to your room."

The skeleton flailed dramatically, and collapsed, staying still on the floor where he fell. Your brother stared at him for a few moments, and muttered something about it being bad to get electronics wet.

"...or lay on the floor and play dead, that's also an option. ANYWAYS, BRO, YA WANT SOME DRUGS?"

What.

"Hit me up fam- wait, the good drugs or the bad drugs?"

You rolled your eyes and threw open your vest like one of those shady watch dealers, showcasing the many chocolate bars and peanut butter cups stuffed in and hanging out of the inside pockets.

"The good drugs. I don't deal bad drugs to family or friends. Only good drugs. Bad drugs are for enemies."

He gave you a skeptical glance, and you led him out of the kitchen to the living room, setting up a game system to distract him from the skeletons stalking the two of you.

"What about that time you gave me cookies loaded with chocolate flavored X-Lax 3.0 chews?"

With a gasp, you turned to point at him with a controller, an expression of overdramatic outrage upon your face.

"First of all, you _stole_ those cookies. Second of all, they were intended for our _rad_ hole neighbors that _funk_ ed up our _shiz_ when we really didn't need it. We're lucky I am a determined procrastinator with the power to do eight hours of work in thirty minutes, and thirty minutes of work in eight hours."

He took the controller with a smirk, and began sifting through games as you ranted, nodding along in agreement when you were done. The Fresh-censoring didn't seem to phase him- perhaps because you'd spoken like that to him during your time of obsession with the parasite.

"Alright, alright, that's true. But you should've made good cookies for us too instead of making all bad ones for the neighbors."

The stalking skeletons shared glances of amusement at the story they were hearing, as you finished hooking up the old game console.

"True. I just used all the cookie dough on the bad cookies, and based upon all the junk food I got this trip alone, I'm sure you know why Mom stopped letting me go shopping with her."

He nodded, and held up a game that the two of you hadn't played together in years.

"Sonic Mega Collection Plus?"

You nodded firmly, and grabbed a controller of your own, jumping back onto the couch and laying out snacks on the coffee table for consumption between zones. (You were Player One. Heehee!)

"Heck yeah. Let's play some Star Wars Battlefront II after this, I wanna show off how I still remember the cheat codes for unlimited ammo and invincibility. And then maybe some Tekken 5. My Anna and Nina skills are getting rusty, and I wanna see if you're still good with Kuma."

With that, the two of you settled in for a day of gaming, and the skeletons quietly observed the interactions between you and your brother.

It was interesting how you'd convinced him that they were robots, simply by letting him make his own assumptions and playing along with them... that, and you really were a bad liar. Or a good liar that pretended to be a bad liar? Who even knew what the case was anymore?


	32. Feelings and Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Sans feel some feelings. Sadly, they are not fluffy feelings.

If a single expression could describe your current frame of mind, it would likely be the poker face of Frisk... utterly neutral, and ever-so-slightly amused.

And exhausted. You were exhausted too. Interaction with people didn't usually wear you out, but even you had your limits...

At least your brother had left earlier, so he didn't have to see you in this odd mood of yours.

"I wonder how many layers of clothes someone has managed to put on before they died from it."

With the confused stares from those in the room- Red to your left and Geno to your right, with Sans sleeping on a chair nearby- you realized that your current train of thought probably wasn't the best for them to be hearing. Alas, this brief realization was nothing more than a droplet of water smacking against a glass windshield, and you continued blabbing your mouth.

"Overheating, I mean. Or suffocation. Or blood circulation being cut off. How many layers would it take? There are a lot of ways for someone to die from wearing too much. There are a lot of ways for someone to die in general. But clothing. Someone has had to try setting the world record for wearing the greatest amount of clothes, and died trying."

Standing up with a determined expression upon your face, you began to head for the stairs, and paused to glance back at the two in the room.

"I'm gonna try it. I probably don't have enough clothes, and I probably don't have enough size variance to do so safely, but I'm gonna try it anywa-"

Before you could finish that statement, you were pulled back over to the couch by Geno, but prevented from sitting down. A few moments passed in which you observed Red building a fluffy structure of some kind, procuring blankets and pillows from who knows where and adding them on, until you finally turned to Geno with a blank expression and made a slightly disturbing comment.

"Did you know that Red is shipped with you, Classic Sans, and Sci? The three of you technically aren't alternates. You're from the same timeline. Red is shipped with Sanses at different points in their same timeline. Kustard will live on forever."

He... didn't really react; just picked you up and put you into the pillow fort nest thing, the glitches over his right eyesocket shimmering slightly.

_Poke._

The glitches felt tingly against your skin, like your finger had gone numb from the blood flow being cut off and was just reaching the pins-and-needles stage of recovery.

When you were done messing around, Geno placed Sans on top of you in a perpendicular manner to your body, the sleeping skeleton acting as a weight to keep you from getting up. Honestly, it wasn't like you _couldn't_ get up if you wanted to (magic skeletons were surprisingly light), but this was pretty much all the persuasion you needed to stay in the comfortable, fluffy nest Red had made.

It was so... _warm..._

You shivered and twitched slightly as your body adjusted to the temperature change, not realizing how cold it had been until there was a warm object near for comparison.

It made you kinda... 

...sleepy.

The familiar weight of exhaustion settled heavier upon you, and with your eyelids drooping to a closed position, you were unable to resist the siren's call of sleep.

.........

...................

.............

You woke up hours later, vaguely unsettled and somewhat startled by your inability to _move properly-_

Oh, it was just Sans. He was still asleep on your lap, laying across it with his limbs splayed out like a turtle that had been flipped onto its back. Such a peaceful expression was on his face, it made you somewhat curious... what was his story?

No, really. So far you'd been treating the skeletons as though you knew them through and through, but there were so many different, _ever-so-slightly_ different versions of them all that this wasn't really true. For all you knew, this Sans could be one taken directly from Underground, or one who had reached the Surface, or one who'd successfully killed the genocidal child and had been left behind in the empty timeline that remained.

What happened to those Sanses? UnderTone Sans, canonically, was one who had been left behind with Asgore and whichever monsters successfully managed to evacuate. Even so, music had died in that universe with all the monsters that had been killed...

Considering that the human travels through the entirety of the Underground in a single day, one could say that it was _the day the music died_.

Heh... that's not funny.

Are you a bad person for finding the deaths of fictional characters sadder than the deaths of the living people around you?

"nnngh..."

The skeleton in your lap stirred, and you turned your attention back towards him as he stretched out and settled back down.

"hey, kid. i see you're awake too. feelin' a bit _restless_?"

You glanced around the room- nobody else was around.

Perfect.

"I've only been up for a few minutes, yet everything seems to be _soda-mn_ energizing."

Returning the pun, you gestured to the empty energy drink can on the coffee table, a product of your shopping trip the other day. However, before he could respond with another pun of his own- his face lit up with the anticipation of doing so, and it made you feel guilty at cutting him off- you continued on to speak your mind like you usually did.

"Who are you?"

...that sounded weirder than it seemed, and the skeleton still sprawled out before you peered up at you oddly. You could understand that, and were quick to clarify.

"No, not in the amnesia sense. Just. Every one of you skeletons have a different story, and I've kinda been running along general assumptions this whole time. I... haven't been asking you all the questions that I should be. You're not _just_ who I think you are. You're people of your own, and I've been forgetting that in my excitement of 'holy shit, my favorite magic skeletons are real.' You're all... real."

Your pride refused to let you apologize straight up; perhaps one of the only things that you weren't straightforward with.

"This entire time, it hasn't really sunk in that you're all _actually_ here, you know? I know of you through means of entertainment, through games and stories created to pass the time of another otherwise dull and unfulfilling day of existence. And, after talking with Jaws and thinking for a few days, it has occurred to me that I haven't really been... thinking of this as real. This has all just been another story to me, and it will likely continue to remain as such until I finally know you lot for who you really are. So, uh..."

Leaning forward and causing the Sans in your lap to move or be moved, you avoided the gaze of said skeleton in embarrassment, and laced your fingers beneath your chin.

"Who are you?"

* * *

Sans the skeleton was a fairly average being, he thought. He lived, he loved, he feared, he died; nothing he'd done especially stood out in his life.

So when you asked him who he was, he couldn't think of an answer.

"i am who i am, i guess. just sans the skeleton, _sans_ the flesh. wanna watch some comic dubs or something?"

Despite the question going unanswered, you seemed determined to find out what you needed to know, and he found himself watching you go forth in your quest. 

He watched you ask Papyrus who he was- "THE GREAT PAPYRUS, OF COURSE!-" and he watched you ask Honey who he was- " 'm just me-" to no avail.

He watched you figure out that you should be asking what made them who they are rather than who they are, and he watched you ask the violent, blood-stained version of himself what made him who he was- "heh, you prolly know better than i do. undick, remember? my memory is shit."

He watched you, and he began to think. 

What made him who he was? 

What made him... _different_?

What defined him as 'Sans the Skeleton' and not someone else?

...what had he experienced to make him such?

He didn't know. But what he did know, was that you could ask some heavy-hitting questions. With questions like that, you were probably in need of a vacation. But what was a vacation to someone who didn't leave their house much? He didn't know.

Sans the Skeleton didn't know a lot of things, not anymore. This timeline... _well..._ it threw everything else out of whack. Heck, he didn't even know for certain that there were multiple versions of himself until he'd fallen through that portal into your bedroom; it'd all been theory and speculation before. Now that he knew for sure that such things existed, he couldn't help but wonder what made him different from those alternates, deep down. What made him special?

...was he even unique?

No, no he wasn't. He couldn't be, not with infinite timelines of infinite universes. There were probably timelines where he was different from others simply by one choice's difference... that Horrortale version of him and that Aftertale version of him being prime examples.

He wasn't unique. He wasn't special. He was just another skeleton in existence, just another copy, even if he was supposedly a 'Classic Sans.' Just by being here, he wasn't the Classic Sans you knew him as. He couldn't be- he'd been taken from the beginning of the human's run, after all.

How would Frisk continue through the Underground without him greeting them?

How would the monsters be able to survive without him to give them the evacuation signal, if it was a bad run?

...Sans didn't know, and he didn't want to keep thinking about how much he didn't know.

Stop.

Stop thinking about it.

Thinking does nothing without action accompanying it; therefore, he needs to ACT.

How? How should he ACT?

What did he want to ACT _for_?

What should his goal be?

He didn't... know.

He just... _didn't know_.

........

.................

............

_Stars, how could he continue with this uncertainty?_

........

.................

...........

Papyrus would know.

He'd follow Papyrus.

Yes, he'd follow Papyrus, and Papyrus seemed to trust you.

........

...................

.............

_You'd better not make him regret it._


	33. Is It Science? Is It Bullshit? Nobody Knows!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out turns into a discussion involving theoretical physics. Again.

"you're a bit of a freak, aren't you?"

You glanced over at the Swap Papyrus beside you, raising a single eyebrow.

"You're only just now figuring this out?"

The two of you had set off from the rest of the group for some quality bonding time- aka Honey wanted to keep a closer eyesocket on you and you didn't care- and now a lit dog treat was being passed between your lips and his teeth.

"heh, no, i'm not referring to whatever sort of mental imbalance you have. that was figured out the first day. what i'm wondering is..."

He sat up slightly straighter, passing the treat to you.

"...how are you even awake right now? you didn't sleep any of the past few nights, and these treats aren't meant for humans. they even put chara out like a light."

You gave him a disapproving look, assuming that Chara had been a child when he had shared the treats with them. He caught said look, and backpedaled a bit, quick to reassure you that hadn't been the case.

"no no, it was in what you and the hoppers call a post-pacifist timeline."

With a nod, you accepted this explanation, and took a light drag of the magical dog treat.

"That would be insomnia, my guy. And nope, neither the AU Insomnia, nor the ship Insomnia. Just plain ol' inability to sleep. Overactive mind, overactive body, etcetera. Whaddya mean by hoppers?"

The treat was passed back to the skeleton beside you, and without much further hesitation, you leaned over on his hoodie. He didn't really seem to mind.

"people who regularly travel different universes. like ink, or error."

The hoodie was soft. You rubbed your cheek against it, disguising the motion as a nod of acknowledgement.

"Makes sense. Say, what did you think about alternate universes before coming here?"

He shrugged, and you mentally rolled your eyes. He might be a Papyrus, but that didn't mean he'd just tell you _everything_. Not without something in return, that is.

"Alright, lemme explain. The vast majority of fanfiction with a bunch of AU skeletons clumped together have them knowing each other previously. Usually, this is because the author doesn't want to waste time explaining things that the readers already know; they want to get to the juicy bits of feel-good emotions, and tragic angst, and of course, the smut. So what I figure, based on these odds, is that you guys probably knew each other before you all ended up here. Or at least, you _suspected_ each other's existence, due to various scientific backgrounds and Gaster being erased from the spacetime continuum and all that jazz."

The dog treat was offered to you once more, and you accepted it, taking a drag as the Swap Papyrus gained a thoughtful expression.

"interesting logic you have there... but surprisingly, it's doesn't seem to be inaccurate. i didn't know they existed, but i did know they _could_. string theory, multiverse theory; theoretical stuff like that. one of my degrees is for theoretical physics, so i probably believed in it a bit more than most of the others here. the main issue of proving this was proving that our own universe had a membrane around it; sadly, teleportation doesn't count."

You sat up slightly, a grin on your face. There was a challenging look in your eyes, and it seemed the skeleton before you wasn't entirely sure what to make of it.

"What about the shortcuts? The theory behind spatial movement is to get away from the first three dimensions, find their position in the eleventh dimension, and then calculate the vectors to teleport, moving at a faster than light speed without occupying the space in between the two locations. That's teleportation, right there. But don't shortcuts require interaction with the universal membrane in order to work? Otherwise those brief little jaunts through the Void during shortcuts wouldn't exist."

........

.................

............

You broke the skeleton. Good job.

"...there is no fucking way it's that simple."

Honey leaned forward, looking at you with slightly more energy than he usually had. Both of you pretended not to notice the eavesdropping nerds outside the nearby doors- their desire to join the conversation would likely override their anxiety or forced politeness in not wanting to interrupt.

"no, look. if that was the case, we'd be able to shortcut directly to other universes. we wouldn't need the machine sci arrived here with to go back home, or to visit other places. the shortcuts generally require a trip through the void, that's true, but the void is technically another dimension. it's a layer. there's the dimension where our universes exist, there's the dimension that is the void, and after meeting the hoppers we know there's a dimension that is the anti-void. taking a shortcut isn't going through universal membranes; it's just temporarily switching layers, like you would on a digital art program to edit little details."

Standing up, you meandered to the kitchen for a few drinks, returning with two cans of orange soda and passing one to Honey. Then, you went around for a few more supplies to assist with further conversation; supplies for visual demonstrations, if necessary.

"These little details being your location in regards to the spatial dimensions around you. I getcha. But. How does one switch layers like that _without_ piercing the membrane? It's not as simple as switching between them like switching between filters on night vision goggles, is it?"

He shook his head, and opened his mouth to reply, but it seemed that the patience of an eavesdropper had finally run out.

"nah, it's simpler than that. like following a thread of conversation. one topic transitions to the next, and usually just as smooth, we transition from one area to the next. there's a lot less thinking involved when it comes to shortcuts, unlike teleportation. why do ya think we use shortcuts more often than teleportation?"

Ah. Hello Geno. How has your day been?

"besides, wouldn't it cause a disturbance in the whole universe if it did? i can't imagine that there wouldn't be side effects from going through the membrane so often."

You took out a balloon from the supplies you'd gotten, and a package of chopsticks to accompany it. The skeletons peered at you in bemused silence as you inflated the balloon and tied the end securely, so there was no threat of air leaking out.

"Alright. The way I see your shortcuts is that they _do_ pierce the universal membrane, but they don't do so in a manner that is threatening. Why is it not threatening? Thickness. A dense concentration of energy. Magic. So, for this balloon, say that you want to get from one side to the other, but it's too long of a journey if you travel over it."

You took one of the chopsticks and began pushing it into the base of the balloon, where it was thickest, until it had successfully pierced the rubber.

"That right there, is the initial step into the Void. Point A has been imitated, and now you need to reach point B, or you'll meet some terrible fate of eternal loneliness and suffering."

Manipulating the chopstick, you pushed it through the top of the inflated balloon; again, where it was a thicker area.

"Point B is reached, and the shortcut has been taken. You continue about your day, and the path you took through the Void is dismissed from your mind. But you say it's impossible to travel from one universe to another? Let me show you why that's a lie."

Handing the pierced balloon to Geno, you took out and inflated two more balloons; but this time, you placed the second chopstick inside of one, before tying off the knot.

There was now a larger audience of eavesdroppers lurking in the doorways, not even trying to hide anymore.

"So each of these balloons is a universe. For example, Dancetale and Outertale. The unoccupied space between them is the Void. For the hoppers, it can also be considered the Anti-Void."

Sci looked rather curious as to what these two AU's were like, but he was shushed before he could ask any questions.

"Let's say that Dance Sans wants to go to Outertale for some of those sweet galactic smoothies and the stunning view. He has his point A and his point B, but how does he get through that space in the middle? Shortcut!"

You manipulated the chopstick inside the balloon to pierce through the thickest point; that way it wouldn't pop. Then, you took the second balloon in hand, and pushed the end of the newly emerged chopstick into the thickest point of that one as well.

"Tada. Journey made. That's how I see your shortcuts. And given the various fanfictions and comics involving interuniversal travel via shortcuts, I'd say there's a pretty good chance that it's close to accurate. It also coincides with string theory rather nicely, wouldn't you agree?"

Honey peered over the two balloons in your hands and with one smooth movement, removed the chopstick from the space between them. The balloons flew off around the room, making farting noises that many would be amused by, and eventually came to a stop in different areas of the room.

"i'd hate to _poke holes_ in your theory kid, but the trails both taken and left by shortcuts don't last forever. if things worked in the way you just described, there'd be holes made in the universal membrane every time i took a shortcut, and i'm pretty sure a screaming entrance to the void wouldn't exactly leave the universe as unaffected as it does."

...Alright, he made a good point. Geno, there's no need for you to- of course he did. He took out the chopstick of his own balloon for the fart noise.

"Then again, we have no idea how the Void and the Universe would react if they interacted. Not truly. The most exposure you lot have to such interactions is with Gaster's experiments... but the hole created there sealed itself up when all was said and done. What if the holes made by your shortcuts are so negligible that they seal themselves up before they can really be noticed?"

Geno shook his head, and you pouted slightly, sipping at your orange soda.

"eh, that's a theory at best, for now. unless there are universes advanced enough to prove it, then it'll probably be a long time before any of us really understand how the universes coexist and interact."

To think that all of this came from a simple question on whether or not they knew each other before arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, I've been working on a new AU of my own for a while ^^'

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, feel free to leave a comment to tell me what stuff I screwed up or how glorious my writing is ;3
> 
> I seem to have obtained a [tumblr](https://ultimategamer101.tumblr.com/). Feel free to visit and looks at all the random things I post and repost xD
> 
> Oh no. I'm making a [new AU](https://evolutiontale-au.tumblr.com/) as well. Run for your lives!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9583160) by [cosmicArtist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicArtist/pseuds/cosmicArtist)
  * [None Of This Makes Any Sense Really.....](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759122) by [Juniemunie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniemunie/pseuds/Juniemunie)
  * [Skeletons Falling Though a Portal is Normal.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809632) by [GhostButtsAreCool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostButtsAreCool/pseuds/GhostButtsAreCool)




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